Monday, March 31, 2008

"We Are Family! Get up Ev'rybody and Sing!"

Well it seems University of Michigan coach, Rich Rodriguez just can't escape controversy. Michigan has lost two starting offensive lineman this offseason. The most recent, Justin Boren, was upset with the transition between Rich and former coach Lloyd Carr, citing "lack of family values" for his reason to leave. Well coach Rodriguez has responded to the allegations and it seems that things are getting better. In fact the M Club at the University of Michigan has made up a new entrance for the Wolverine squad. This year they are coming out to the band playing Sister Sledge and touching a great new banner. Here is an illustration speculating what we are in for this fall.

Friday, March 28, 2008

Big-Ten Revenge...

This week it was announced that the Big Ten will have an excellent opportunity to defend itself versus its SEC critics. The only problem is it won't happen for another 10 YEARS! On Thursday it was announced that The Ohio State University and The University of Tennessee have reached an agreement to play a home-and-home series starting in...

...wait for it...


I guess the Luckeyes couldn't get Youngstown State off the schedule until 10 years from now and Middle Tennessee State wouldn't back down on its 10 year commitment to be Smokey's lap dog (er dragon).

Well we can always look on the bright side. By the time they play each other it will be a battle of the ages pitting Heath Shuler's boy vs. Mo Clarett's 2nd son! Whoever wins this match should be an early front runner for the Heisman and NFL draft bust stardom!

May the next ten years go as fast as the last! Oh the good old days of 1998, when Nebraska and Florida State mattered and USC and OU prayed to become bowl eligible.

Come on college football! Give the public what they want and give it to us sooner!

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

RV'ing with "The Hawk"

Not to be outdone by Martin Lawrence, Dan Hawkins is taking a college road trip of his own after the Colorado Buffs spring game to drum up local support for the team. Heading out in an RV he will be going across the state to meet with "Rocky Mountain High" Coloradans on their own turf.

This might have been how the conversation went with Athletic Director Mike Bohn when the decision was made:

Coach Hawkins: "So I was wondering if I could get an extra week off for vacation."

AD Bohn: "What! You had two weeks after finals, a week for July 4th, a week before camp starts, that's a month! That's more vacation than I get!"

Hawkins: "I am just a little bummed out."

Bohn: "A little bummed out?! This is division one football! That's it! If you want a vacation get in the Buff-mobile and plug the program!"

Hawkins: "Your right brotha. This isn't intramurals."

Hollywood hasn't come up with anything creative lately so when they heard about this upcoming event they started working on using it for RV II. They already have the posters done.

Monday, March 24, 2008


I know we might be accused of being geeks here at The College Football Guys, but our "guilty pleasure" GREEK is back tonight for its second season on ABC Family. The "Adventures of Spiter," returns this evening and brings back a funny look at college and Greek life! If you haven't seen it before, give it a shot. It is no "Animal House" or "Old School" but it is still entertaining.


BTW - Britney is on How I Met Your Mother tonight. Hope you have TiVo!

Saturday, March 22, 2008

Back to Class for Coaches

Penn State is starting a class this fall that examines how Joe Paterno handles the media. That gave The College Football Guys an idea. What other coaches could we study to learn valuable skills for the future, or at least get an easy A.

Here are some other class titles, inspired by college coaches, that might be successful on a campus near you.

George O'Leary, UCF - English 195 "Resume Building." Class discontinued, like this joke should be.

History 321 "Mr. Rogers affect on Popular Culture/Dress." - Jim Tressel, Ohio State

Pete Carroll, USC - Sales 401 "How to Win Games and Influence Recruits...with Money."

Physiology 350 "The Inter-workings of a Smile." - Ty Willingham, Washington

Rich Rodriguez. Michigan - Admin 150 "From Shredders to Scissors, the Ins and Outs of Office Machinery." Community college favorite.

Physical Education 110 "Yoga - The Key to Peace and Calmness to your Life" - Jim Leavitt, USF

Mike Gundy, Oklahoma State - English 205 "Intro to Newspaper Journalism"

Pat Hill, Fresno State in collaboration with Oregon's Mike Bellotti - Cosmetology 102 "The Art of a Mustache."

Lou Holtz - Managment 315 "Finding the Positive in the Worst Employees" The kids are calling it 'Talks for Jocks'. An example is given below.

Go Notre Dame! Beat Duke!

Friday, March 21, 2008

At Least Buckeye's win in March

So it seems that Terrelle isn't the only one shooting Michigan the moon...

I guess the decision makes perfect sense now. Some classy gals right here!

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Jackson takes Alabama

This year's Spring Games will bring more entertainment to the fans than just football. Gridiron Bash has started scheduling and promoting concerts for the Friday before participating program's Spring Game to make what already is a zoo into a zoo with rockin' tunes! Here is a sample of the schools and artists:

Alabama - Alan Jackson (Which event will bring more people? Concert or the game?)
WVU - Dwight Yoakam (Perfect Fit!)
LSU - Sara Evans and Kid Rock?
Texas AM - ZZ Top (Mike Sherman has already started growin' the beard)
Kentucky - Wynonna Judd (Please, please, please bring Ashley on stage!)
Arizona State - 3 Doors Down (Ricky Martin wasn't available)

Not to be outdone by the "Big Guys" the University of Washington delayed the release of their spring game date trying to book the same thing, however I think they found someone else willing to do an encore performance.

BTW - Maybe this halftime performance should have been a sign to Cal that their season had gone down the crapper. Hung, a Cal - Berkeley grad, dressed in purple, singing with the opposition's band...hmmm.

Monday, March 17, 2008

Happy Notre Dame Day!

In the celebration of St. Patty's Day, here are some Irish Proverbs we found that might be some great words of wisdom for some of our friends in the land of sports. When reading this make sure you speak in an Irish dialect.

"A secret is a weapon and a friend." A secret or possibly a video tape, right Coach Belichick.

"A man may be his own ruin." Perhaps like George O'Leary's resume?

Rich Rodriquez we shall soon see if "A trout in the pot is better than a salmon in the sea."

"By degrees the castles are built." Bobby Bowden is glad it doesn't state earned degrees.

Kelvin Sampson "Don't let your tongue (or fingers) cut your throat."

"Fat is not to be had without labour." Oh Mangino, sometimes you make it too easy.

"If a rogue deceives me once, shame on him. If he deceives me twice, shame on me." Take heed Alabama and Arkansas Fans...

"Reputations last longer than lives." Do you think Slick Rick has found this to be true yet?

"Sending the goose on a message to the fox's den." Be careful though, sometimes the goose is tougher than a fox, or perhaps a Wolverine.

"Pride comes before a fall." Is this what happened Notre Dame?

Happy St. Patrick's Day everyone!

"May your glass be ever full.
May the roof over your head be always strong.
And may you be in heaven
half an hour before the devil knows you're dead."

Friday, March 14, 2008

Horton Hears a Who, Terrelle Choose a School!

You can get so confused
that you'll start in to race
down long wiggled roads at a break-necking pace
and grind on for miles across weirdish wild space,
headed, I fear, toward a most useless place.
The Waiting Place...

...for people just waiting.
Waiting for a train to go
or a bus to come, or a plane to go
or the mail to come, or the rain to go
or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow
or waiting around for a Yes or a No
or waiting for their hair to grow.
Everyone is just waiting.

Waiting for the fish to bite
or waiting for wind to fly a kite
or waiting around for Friday night
or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake
or a pot to boil, or a Better Break
or a string of pearls, or a pair of pants
or a wig with curls, or Another Chance.
Everyone is just waiting.

That's not for you!

Somehow you'll escape
all that waiting and staying.
You'll find the bright places
where Boom Bands are playing.

With banner flip-flapping,
once more you'll ride high!
Ready for anything under the sky.
Ready because you're that kind of a guy!

Oh, the places you'll go! There is fun to be done!
There are points to be scored. There are games to be won.
And the magical things you can do with that ball
will make you the winning-est winner of all.
Fame! You'll be famous as famous can be,
with the whole wide world watching you win on TV.

Dr. Seuss, Oh the Places You'll Go!

Thursday, March 13, 2008

See you in the Fall Erin!

Sad fact about this weekend's conference tourney's - no more ESPN College Basketball and more importantly, no more Erin Andrews. BOO!! With this in mind we here at The College Football Guys want to give you one more salute to the beautiful blonde that enhances our college viewing experience. See you soon Erin! Maybe in Omaha at the World Series of College Baseball? Let's hope we don't have to wait until fall!

Here is our pathetic copy-cat blog tribute to the greatest sideline reporter of all time! What was CBS thinking when they took this important position away from their NFL sidelines? Don't they know that it not only helps the economy with employment, but also in general moral?

See you soon! We will miss you! OXOXOX's!

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Coaching controversy in Morgantown?

Seems a 12 year old boy, Joshua Irizarry, from Connecticut wants to coach football pretty bad. If you haven't seen this video you need to.

Here is a link to the story.

The best part of the interview is when the kid tells the reporter that in the rejection letter he received from the president of WVU, Michael Garrison (Mr. Heat Miser in living form), it stated that "the position has been taken by an equally qualified candidate." I know that WVU coach Bill Stewart acts like a 12 year old sometimes, but is this validation from the boss?

The cover letter the boy sent in with his application also recognizes that a stunt like this might be better served for a school like Temple that could use the publicity. Is this kid gunning for Owls coach Al Golden's position next? Poor, poor Temple. They have fallen a long ways since Heathcliff Huxtable's playing days.

Friday, March 7, 2008

"Everybody Dance Now!"

It appears that Penn State saw how much fun Texas had and also wanted a shot at "Dancing with the Stars." Who would be a good dance partner...? Do you think Ki-Jana Carter could do this without blowing out his knees? At least these players are still on the football team...maybe.

This is from Penn State's 2008 Dance Marathon that is put on by the campus Greeks and raised over $6.6 million for the fight against children's cancer.

Thursday, March 6, 2008

Texas Two Step Thursday!

Spring is in the air!

Spring Football started for all our southern schools this week! Time to get excited for watching your own players beat each other up for 15 practices! Texas has already been practicing for a week and we now know why they need the extra work. We heard they were getting ready for the next season of "Dancing with the Stars." The Longhorns are going to be matched up with Oklahoman Reba McEntire...? "That's the night the lights went out in Georgia." Possibly?

We now know why the UCF game was so close this year. Think anyone was injured on this play?

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Election Day is Now!

Election time is here and your vote counts! EA Sports is opening up its Nintendo Wii NCAA '09 cover to you, the voting public! Now is your chance to rally your alumni friends and vote for for your mascot in a doomed attempt to put him on the cover of a national video game release.

Before you go to all that trouble, humor me this. Instead of showing your rabid pride and voting for a losing candidate (Harry the Husky, Cy the Cardinal?, Ron Paul, Ralph Nader), why don't you and your friends, make your vote count, and throw your support towards the most ridiculous/creative candidate available? We here at The College Football Guys have taken a great deal of time and effort to help you make an unbiased and informed decision.

If this had been a fair election, WKU's Big Red would have been our choice, but sadly he is not in the running - BOO! Our finalists were: MSU's Bully, UCF Knightro, MTSU Lightning (What is that thing anyway? A dragon? Flying "My Little Pony?"), and Mizzou's Truman the Tiger. But the most obvious choice was...!

Drum roll please.....

Toledo's Rocky the Rocket! Conceived in 1966, the heat of the "Space Race" and the hype of space travel, the University of Toledo's mascot is the worst, er best choice for a retro cover of NCAA '09!

To vote click here, and click on Mid-American Conference and make your choice! Vote early and often! Once a day until March 14th.

Haven't we had enough of the buckeyes and gators? The world is a better place without a leprechaun or longhorn on the cover of one of our favorite video games. Unite your vote for Rocky the Rocket! Besides it will bring a smile to Coach Tom Amstutz's face! Now that's a win/win proposition if you ask this college football guy.

Monday, March 3, 2008

The Test of Tests!

We have had a couple of posts lately bringing light to the number of arrests that have occurred in college football this year. Well maybe there is a solution to help with some of these offenses. In an attempt to improve the reputation of their players, Australian Rules Football has started a new code of conduct regarding the treatment of women. They have developed a test for their players to take to help them identify sexual abuse and educate them on how they should handle it.

In the fear that you might think I am making this up I have posted the link to the story here. This is just a sample of one of the questions on the test. Lets see if you can pass.

A player is out of town with a girl who has had too much to drink, do you:
a. Offer her some water?
b. Call her a cab?
c. Take her back to your place for sex?