Wednesday, April 30, 2008

"Drop Your Cocks and Grab Your Socks!"

Reveille is a French word meaning "wake up." Reveille is a tune played at sunrise for military personnel throughout the world. Reveille is a dog that walks on water on the storied Texas A & M campus. For Mike Sherman, head coach of the Aggies, reveille is moving to the digital age. The coach has placed 25 digital clocks around the practice facility to ensure that everyone knows what time it is.


Well it seems "The Shermanator" is demanding perfection in everything including making it to meetings on time. Those that are late to practice or meetings will have their lockers cleaned out and will not be allowed to participate until they have had a meeting with coach. If that doesn't straighten you out he will send the First Lady of the Corps of Cadets after you.

You got to be early,
You got to be early,
You got to be early to meeting;
You got to be early,
You got to be early,
You got to be early or else!

The coach told the players,
The players told the Corps,
The Corps told the "Lady,"
And the bitch told them all!

No Breaks for Ann Arbor

It seems that Wolverine country has had more "hard" luck and can't get a break if they tried to buy one. Earlier this month a Michigan archeology professor mistakenly purchased a Mike's Hard Lemonade for his 7 year old son at a Detroit Tigers game. Christopher Ratte thought he was buying a lemonade, but when stadium security saw his son, Leo, sipping on Mike's goodness they took both of them in for questioning. The whole ordeal landed Leo in Child Protective Services for three days! The authorities may have overacted, but maybe they have a little Buckeye in their blood...

BTW - The article states that Leo was taken to the hospital and they found no alcohol his blood. So much for being "HARD" Mike!

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Status Quo

This is one of the most positive articles about a playoff system that has been published in a while. However it doesn't look like ANYTHING will change when the BCS conference commissioners are done meeting Wednesday afternoon in Hollywood, FL. It seems that the Big Ten and Pac Ten commissioners are still "party poopers" about the whole idea of a playoff and nothing can change until the Pac-10, Big Ten, and Rose Bowl contract with ABC ends in 2014! 2014? Yes, 2014! Well at least we will have some great bowls to watch!

The idea of playoffs is going NOWHERE fast!

Monday, April 28, 2008

Early Cinco de Mayo to you!

V is no longer for Victory!

Not a completely original idea. Here is the story about USC turning themselves in for a shirt that was sold during their spring game a week ago. The NCAA won't get them for Bush, but a t-shirt? Maybe.

Still trying to get my hands on one...

Friday, April 25, 2008

I'm Too Sexy for My Shirt...

Somethings you wish you had thought of. Others you wish the thought had never even entered your mind. This is one that this college football guy wouldn't have even thought of making up and I think I am OK with that.

The University of Oregon Offensive Line has made a calendar for the 2008-2009 school year. "Say what?!" A calendar of the firemen variety. Not sure what else to say about it, other than Husky fans (both University of Washington and those larger than average) eat your hearts out! You FINALLY have something new to make fun of Oregon for! That uniform thing is getting a little old. Below is a montage provided by our friends at

In case you need to see more photos click here...

Thursday, April 24, 2008

Long on Love

The College Football Guys were reminded from several Michigan fans that their was one good thing that happened this week for Wolverine Football. Jake Long was drafted by the Miami Dolphins with the first pick of the 2008 draft. This is an ode to Jake Long from Your welcome Wolverine fan.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

A'Maizen Blues

Ohio State has beat the Maize and Blue one more time this year. First it was the head to head game in November, then it was Terrelle Pryor in March, now it seems that one more victory has been scored by those rivals to the south. Justin Boren, a 2007 starting lineman for the Wolverines, announced today that he will be transferring to The Ohio State University and begin play in the 2009 season.

Justin, as you will remember from an earlier post, left Michigan because he felt that the program's "family values have eroded" under new coach Rich Rodriguez. It appears that the Buckeye family must being doing pretty good. How could it not be when Jim Tressel reminds us all so much of Mr. Rogers.

Here is Buckeye take on the story.

Poor Michigan! They have had some rough times lately. This headline proves how jaded they have become.

The People's Poll

One always wonders what a poll would look like if "the people" voted. Vegas gives us every year the closest thing that we can get to that. Here are the odds for winning the 2009 BCS Championship. There is one thing that concerns me in this poll, either I am out of touch with the popularity of some of these programs OR their are schools out their that might want to consider gambling counseling as a benefit for joining their Alumni Association. Are Tar Heels, Wildcats (all three), Wolfpack, Beavers, and Turtles addicts? Why do they have their own line and not included with "the field?"

USC 3-1
Florida 6-1
Oklahoma 6-1
Georgia 7-1
Ohio St 7-1
LSU 12-1
Missouri 15-1
Clemson 30-1
Texas 30-1
West Virginia 30-1
Michigan 40-1
Virginia Tech 40-1
Auburn 50-1
Illinois 50-1
Penn St 50-1
Alabama 60-1
Florida St 60-1
Kansas 75-1
Miami FL 75-1
Nebraska 75-1
Notre Dame 75-1
Rutgers 75-1
South Carolina 75-1
UCLA 75-1
Wisconsin 75-1
Arizona 100-1
Arizona St 100-1
Arkansas 100-1
Boise St 100-1
Boston College 100-1
California 100-1
Georgia Tech 100-1
Iowa 100-1
Kansas St 100-1
Kentucky 100-1
Louisville 100-1
Maryland 100-1
Michigan St 100-1
North Carolina 100-1
North Carolina St 100-1
Oklahoma St 100-1
Oregon 100-1
Oregon St 100-1
South Florida 100-1
Tennessee 100-1
Texas A&M 100-1
Texas Tech 100-1
Virginia 100-1
Wake Forest 100-1

Field (Any Other Team) 25-1

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Desperate Times Call for...

Nebraska coach Bo Pelini got a reminder this weekend of just how crazy Cornhusker country is when his team's spring scrimmage sold out Memorial Stadium in Lincoln. Not only were most of the 80,000+ fans willing to pay the $10 admission price, on-line ticket broker Stub Hub were selling tickets for as much as $95, each! All this to see a scrimmage. Just goes to show the lengths that poor Cornhusker fans are willing to go to watch their beloved program win a game.

BTW boys and girls - L is for Loyalty...or Lunatic. F is for Fanatic.

Monday, April 21, 2008

Ralphie Gone Wild!

It is not just football players that use college spring games to help fine tune their game. As you will notice from the video below, mascots too need some time to figure everything out. This is the University of Colorado's new mascot, Ralphie V, and this young buff hasn't quite got everything down pat yet. I think he really wants to go RV'ing with "The Hawk."

On Sunday, in Boulder tradition, the residents and students had their annual celebration of 4/20 day. Over 10,000 people gathered in front of the CU student union to all smoke out in unison. You can bet those poor Ralphie handlers were there "easing the pain."

Thursday, April 17, 2008

Congress' Turn, Maybe?

Well now that congress has squeezed all the good will votes out of the baseball steroid scandal, they have found another sport to stick their noses in, college football. Congressional Representatives from Georgia, Hawaii, and Idaho are introducing legislation to congress that would require the Justice Department to investigate whether or not the BCS system violates federal antitrust law.

As the article points out, it is very interesting that all three of the representatives are from states that include schools passed over for national championship consideration in the last two years. If the presidents and the BCS won't change anything maybe congress can.

If only Jose Canseco had written a book about the BCS system, instead of steriods, we might already have a 16 team playoff. One can only dream...

No Playoffs. More Bowls. Ho Hum.

Ben Franklin once said "The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results." It seems that the presidents of our major universities have never heard this quote. This year is no different. An inspired Michael Adams, President of the University of Georgia, pushed at the end of the college football season for a college playoff system, yet according to a USA Today article today it appears it won't even be discussed at the upcoming presidents' meetings. Not an eight team playoff. Not 4. Not even a plus one will be brought up! It will all be tabled to a later date.

One thing that will be considered is more bowl games! Isn't that exciting? This is just what I was thinking we needed at the end of last year. There were 7, bowl eligible, teams last year that didn't get to go to a bowl game. This is an injustice that needs to be addressed! These teams worked too hard to win their 4 non conference cupcakes only to be rewarded with going back home to Grandma and Auntie M for the holidays instead of such exotic locals as Salt Lake City, St. Petersburg, and DC. (Two of the purposed bowls would be played in baseball stadiums. Hasn't the Emerald Nuts Bowl taught us anything? Your right, your right, no one watches that game).

If we are going to increase the bowl games lets at least bring back some of these bowl classics.

Salad Bowl - Phoenix, AZ (1948-52)
Pineapple Bowl - Honolulu, HI (1940-52)
Glass Bowl - Toledo, OH (1946-49)
Sunflower Bowl - Winfield, KS (1982-86)
Dixie Bowl - Birmingham, AL (1948-49)
Boot City Bowl - Dodge City, KS (1970-80)
Gotham Bowl - New York, NY (1960-61)
Refrigerator Bowl - Evansville, IN (1948-56)
Cigar Bowl - Tampa, FL (1947-56)
Poi Bowl - Honolulu, HI (1936-39)
Bluebonnet Bowl - Houston, TX (1959-87)
Bacardi Bowl - Havana, Cuba (1937)
Raisin Bowl - Fresno, CA (1946-49)

Yes these are all real. We couldn't make up better it we tried. (Alright maybe after a four glasses of Makers and water). Here are many more if you want to check them out!

This college football guy is all for capitalism and the right of anyone to make an honest buck, but it seems that adding more bowls and squelching all talk of a playoff is not the way to maximize profits. University presidents might want to take head in something else the great Franklin said "A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle."

UCLA Fallout

Here is some great quotes from high school coaches that were in attendance at practice for the "over the wall" experience this week at UCLA. These are from a great article today in the LA Times

"I guess that's why they're in the Lay's Potato Chips Bowl every year," said Chris Pascal, La Palma Kennedy High's freshman coach.

"Let me put it this way, they wouldn't have done that at Fresno State," said Encino Crespi High Coach Jeremiah Ross, a former Fresno State player.

"They had recruits there, and can you imagine what they think after being driven there and being sent back onto the freeway at 5 p.m.?" Pascal said. "The four of us were standing there for a half-hour, someone could have said something. On the way home we thought about going over to USC because we knew they would be on the practice field."

Bravo Bruins! Bravo!

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Not getting to 212 this way.

Apparently there was an abundance of UCLA players that needed extra time to file their taxes on Tuesday as the team skipped out on practice. The UCLA players met for spring practice on Tuesday, suited up, went through stretches and then after huddling on the field, bolted for the exits.

It seems that this is a "tradition" on campus as the team has been organizing this "over the wall" walk out as long as Neuheisel can remember, however it caught him off guard. The team had told him they weren't going to do it this year and was so unexpected on Tuesday that it left potential recruits and high school coaches, invited to view practice, scratching their heads.

Well this won't help the team make it the "extra degree," but it sure helped the coaches reach their boiling point.

211 is NEVER Enough!

At the beginning of the 2007 football season UCLA had 20 returning starters, upended cross town rival USC's bid for a championship the year before and is was looking like the Pac Ten Championship, and maybe even the BCS Championship, might come down to a December showdown with USC. Then something happened. UCLA played like they were a team of freshman instead of the "seasoned" veterans they were supposed to be. They lost to Notre Dame, 20-6! and ended the season 6-7. Some blamed it on having to deal with injuries to three QB's. The administration and university believed it was Karl Dorrell's fault and let him go at the end of the season.

The College Football Guys have done some digging and found that the true blame may not have lied with either excuse. Below you will find a sample of UCLA's football preview video for 2007. Not only is it NOT inspiring and boring, it looks EERILY similar to another video on youtube that was published in January of 2007. Actually it looks EXACTLY the same!

If this was shown to the team at ANY time during the season it would more than explain the lackluster play.

Francis Ford Coppola, Charles Burnett, David Silverman and all the other world renowned directors of UCLA lineage must be so proud. I think in college they call this plagiarism.

WAKE UP!! It's over! You can go back to work, motivated and ready to give that EXTRA degree! Hope you wore your deodorant today!

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

God Bless College Football...Please?

The pope is coming to America! Pope Benedict XVI is visiting America this week and will conduct mass in Yankee Stadium on Sunday. According to several published reports, he is not allowed to drive his "Popemobile" on the "sacred" turf of Yankee Stadium. Being a college football fan, I could think of another sports venue that would not care one bit and have made more American Catholics happy. Seems to me Touchdown Jesus could use some love these days. Maybe the "mobile" driving over the soil of ND Stadium would awaken the ghosts of Irish past? How about a blessing on Coach Weis and Jimmy Clausen? Don't you think that he owes it to the world to have mass on this sacred field?

Saturday, April 12, 2008

Ode to Gatorville...

Watching College Gameday and the University of Florida spring game today, on ESPN, made me realize how short changed I was with my college experience. The gang at the Worldwide Leader have made me fall in love with those so "lovable" Gators. Tonight I will dream about what it would have been like to be a Florida Gator. Here are the things I now realize I missed out on.

The opportunity to cast my eyes on the mystic swamp where it is rumored that Tim Tebow walked on water.

The chance to throw a visor in the very stadium as the once great "ol' ball coach."

The ability to call opponents 'bait.

The genius of Urban Meyer, the third coming of Christ! (Spurrier was first, Tebow second)

Learning to clap my hands together in unison to a steady beat.

Seeing how long it takes to be brain washed to believe that the colors blue and orange look good together.

Smelling the flagellant of Tim Tebow to find out once and for all that his shit truly doesn't stink.

The opportunity to be raised by the Tebows and spend my nights memorizing the Holy Book.

The chance to breath the same rare air as some of the greatest QB's of all time, Danny Wuerffel and Rex Grossman.

Watching the great Erin Andrews dance with the Dazzlers.

The next time a tenured literature professor, or a physics researcher complains about how much emphasis is placed on college football and how their coaches are over payed, remember this day. The University of Florida was showcased today in a sappy display the University's marketing department couldn't dream to execute better. All of this in front of a national audience, for 4 hours, in the spring. The same spring most students are making their decisions on where they want to go to school. If the guys at ESPN have convinced this college football guy that Florida is the best school in all the land, just think of the impression they have made on the nation's delicate high school seniors. The pay Urban Meyer and his assistants receive is worth every penny.

Go Gators!

A life long bond!

UF - "The Foundation of Gator Nation!"

Friday, April 11, 2008

Big and Rich are Back!

The lyrical talents of Big and Rich are back this weekend as College Gameday (built by the Home Depot, of course) rolls into Gainesville, FL and into our television sets! This Saturday morning at 11am EST, 10 CST, 9 MST, 8 PST, Fowler, Kirk, and Lee will be back to give us a much needed booster shot of college football! Don't forget to check it out! The Masters can wait. An hour of programing on how great Tim Tebow is can't!

I suppose this suit is OK. It is after Easter. Right Ethan...?

Miss that reference? Check out the March Madness Edition of The College Football Guys.

Speaking of Tim Tebow, maybe this should be the new song for College Gameday...(Parental Discretion Required!)

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Reasons to watch College Football

Soccer is here! Wait wrong "football guys." Don't worry the season will get here soon enough. Here is a short video to remind you how fortunate we are to live in a land that celebrates a real sport. Enjoy!

Monday, April 7, 2008

Can a Cowboy ride a Longhorn?

We made it! The College Football Guys made it back from the "Big Easy" alive and well. Maybe well is an exaggeration, but we made it through none the less!

While we were in New Orleans an interesting story emerged from the world of college football. It appears that Arkansas wishes to not add another loss to their 21-55 record versus the University of Texas as they removed them from their 2009 schedule. They have done so to make room for a series that they have worked out with - Gig' Em - Texas A&M.

While it is unfortunate that Arkansas has to put this old Southwestern Conference rivalry on the back burner this move did help open up the schedule for Texas to grab a series with, of all schools, the University of Wyoming! While that might not seem that interesting, part of this three year deal has the Longhorns and Bevo headed TO Laramie, WY. This will be, by far, the best program (sorry Colorado State) to ever set foot on campus in southern Wyoming. The game at War Memorial Stadium on Sept. 12, 2009 might just bring a few more fans to Laramie (pop. 25,566) than the last local rodeo...

Laramie, it might be time to put that stop light in...

On a serious note, both schools are doing something that needs to happen more in college football. Larger schools should be willing to travel to smaller schools. These types of series are good for the overall game of college football. In 2007, Texas traveled to UCF and Virginia visited Wyoming. Virginia's loss cost them any consideration for a BCS game and those pesky Knights at UCF nearly upset the "mighty" Longhorns. UT and U Dub keep up the good work and may you continue to serve as an example to other programs throughout the country.

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Bash Smashed!

Well it looks like Grid Iron Bash has been sacked for this year. The multi-concert, spring, pregame, tailgate is a no go! The Grid Iron folks blame NCAA rules for not being able to allow football players to attend and be apart of the fun, however the NCAA claims they weren't even asked about the event until a couple weeks ago. This college football guy thinks that the meager 1500 tickets sold for LSU's Kid Rock/Sara Evans party might be an indication that this thing wasn't getting the support it needed. Maybe the NCAA is being used as great scape goat in this case.

We here at The College Football Guys talked in our March Madness podcast about alternative activities revolving around college football spring games. Some of the ideas were carnivals, fortune tellers, wet T-shirt contests, and our favorite, dunk contests. Can you imagine Mark Mangino the subject of a dunk contest? If you can't we want to give you a quick visual.

They might want to think about using the school swimming pool...