Dr. Lou Responds to America for His Thoughts on Global Warming

Last weekend Lou Holtz was a member of a guest panel on Fox New's Hannity show in which the topic of global warming was brought up. Similar to the other program Dr. Lou is a guest panel member of, he proved to be the dimmest fluorescent light bulb at the table. His performance earned him "Worst person of the world" status on Countdown with Keith Olbermann.

(In case you missed all of this, click here to get caught up.)

Today Lou issued the following statement about his remarks. Well not really, but if he had the following is probably what they would have looked like.

"Many people have asth me this week, 'What qualifications do you have to speak on global warming?' To them I say, I graduated in the lower half of my high school class - and it was a rather stupid class overall. I have written three New York Times Best Sellers - the only person in the world that has written more books than he has read. I coached for New York Jets for a whole 13 games - the same number of games the great Bobby Petrino coached for the Atlanta Falcons. I have four honorary doctorate degrees and my mother loves me.

Now about global warming, the good Lord put eyesth in the front of your head instead of the back so you can see where you are going and not where you have been. Therefore if I see it snowing today in New York, there is no chance of the existhence of global warming.

There is a rule in life, your either growin' or your dyin'. A tree'th grown' or it'th dyin'. The world's growin' or it's dyin'. It has everything to do with, are you content where you are or are you trying to get better? Ladies and gentlemen, I'd say we are content with where we are.

Global warming isth alot like the bubble bee. Everyone says the bubble bee can't fly. By all aeronautical principles it can't because it'sth body is too big and it'sth wing span isth too short. But fortunately the bubble bee can't read, so it flies all over. People are saying that global warming is real and it'sth happening here on earth, but fortunately I don't read so I know that global warming doesn'th exist.

Friends, don't listhen to the hypocrites! How do we know they are hypocrites? Because a hypocrite is someone that complains about the amount of sex and violence on their VCR.

And now my closing thought for you. If you want some great advise, don't ask Dr. Lou. Ask your spouse. Maybe that is what Hannity should have done. Because, there is no one that loves you more, wants to see you succeed anymore, or will be more honest with you. Remember that behind every successful person stands a very surprised mother-in-law."

A surprised mother-in-law indeed! But in all fairness should we really be that surprised since our most relevant voice for global warming is a man that claimed he "invented the internet?"

A Saturday with No Football

We knew August 28th, the day the season started, that this day would come.

Alas it is on the horizon. A Saturday with no football!

No more tailgates. No ESPN College Gameday. No beautiful co-eds. No band playing our favorite song! It is all gone.

What to do? It has been over three months since we have been without. We are all at a bit of a loss here. How is a man to fill his Saturday without college football?

Let us help you out and offer a few suggestions.

First and most important, if you value your companionship with your significant other, do something with your wife, girlfriend, fiance! Who is that you ask? That is the cute little thing (way to cute for you we might add) that has been patiently waiting to get you back on Saturdays.

She has listened to you yell at the TV. Put up with your drunkenness at all the tailgates. Limited her comments when she caught you drooling over a young co-ed and even fixed you dinner a time or two.

TAKE HER OUT!

Now if you don't have a "significant other" and you:

a. Don't have finals to study for.
b. Live in an area of the country where it is too cold to do anything outside.
c. Believe the only joy that comes from the holiday season is shopping on Christmas Eve.
d. Have already defended your favorite program's NCAA '09 National Title 10 times.
e. Live in a spotlessly clean home.

and

f. Are hopelessly addicted to your 47" flat screen HDTV.

Here is some TV programing that might cure your withdrawal symptoms. Please check your local listings for times in your area.

Are you an ACC fan? Now is your chance to scout next year's schedule. This weekend is the semi finals for the FCS championship. Richmond plays at Northern Iowa, 4pm EST on ESPN. Just in case you are lost Friday night, Montana plays at JMU, 8pm EST on the "Deuce."

Big 12 fans - Storm Chasers; Sean and Reed bring their teams closer to tornadoes than ever before, 2pm CST on Discovery and we must never forget King of the Hill, 3pm CST on FX.

For SEC fans, CMT has you covered with the 12 Days of Redneck Christmas, 5pm EST.

CMT is also helping West Virginia fans with Larry the Cable Guy's Star-Studded Christmas Extravaganza at 9:30pm EST. It is rumored that Mountaineer head coach Bill Stewart is co-hosting.

Bill Dance Outdoors on Versus at 1pm EST gives us a nice review of the 2008 Tennessee football season. In case you don't get a chance to catch it, we have posted it below.



Kind of reminds you of Ol' Fulmer, don't it?

Layla Kiffin says goodbye on Bravo's 7pm PST airing of Real Housewives of Orange County.

Auburn boosters call in to CNBC's 8pm EST showing of the Suze Orman Show to ask if paying $5.1 million to buy out one of the most successful coaches in the SEC is a sound financial decision. Suze's reaction is priceless.



Cal fans will find An Inconvenient Truth airing on Discovery at 1pm PST.

For those Notre Dame, Washington, WAZZU, Syracuse, Iowa State, Michigan, SMU, and North Texas fans, Trainwrecks is on Spike at noon EST. If you need something in prime time Mission Impossible III is on TNT at 11pm EST.

For Oregon, Cal, Missouri, Army, Central Michigan and every other programs that donned ugly uni's this year, What Not To Wear is on TLC at 4, 5, and 6pm EST.

Bottom line: Whatever you do, don't forget the Heisman Trophy Presentation is at 8pm EST on (where do you think?) ESPN.

Don't worry. This weekend is just a practice for January as Bowl Season begins bright and early at 11am EST, Saturday, December 20th!

Jets and Sharks FSU Style

It appears that the Jets and Sharks are at it again.

ESPN is reporting that there was a brawl in the student union Wednesday afternoon involving members of the Florida State football team and the Phi Beta Sigma fraternity.

We here at The College Football Guys just happened to have hidden cameras in the Florida State Student Union and captured the fight on the following video.



We are still trying to figure out why Michael Jackson was just standing around singing.

Who Da Ho?

I Da Ho!

"Cover up young ladies!" Explanation here. There has NEVER been this much excitment in the Kibbie Dome, EVER! Not even in John Frieze and Mark Schlereth's days.

I just hope someone on the campaign trail will ask Vandal alumna Sarah Palin what her opinion is on this matter, that is if reporters will ever be allowed to ask her questions...

Maybe these are the girls Coach Mike Leach had in mind for that first date.

Nice Vespa! Dork!

It seems with the cost of gas pushing the $4/gal mark this year, college students have become even more efficient on how to save money when commuting to class.

More and more students are resorting to bicycles and actually using the university provided bus. Still others, particularly those whose expenses are subsidized by the university, football players perhaps, are finding it hip to get around on mopeds. However even though the two wheeled beast is too cool for words, it appears that mopeds are indeed governed by the same rules as any other automobile.

Who knew?

Jonathan Casillas, senior linebacker for the Wisconsin Badgers is finding this truth out the hard way. One crisp and beautiful, August Wisconsin evening he was pulled over by campus police. Jonathan had been drinking that night and after blowing a 0.15 was sited for driving under the influence.

This got us at The College Football Guys to thinking that since these mopeds are such a new phenomena to college campuses that some education is in order.

The following is a public service announcement to all students out there, and those thinking of making the switch to a scooter as your primary means of transportation. With the aid of youtube and a few drunken idiots we bring you some signs to let you definitively know you are too drunk to safely operate such a fine piece of machinery.

The inability to drive in a straight line.



You feel a loss of control.



You pretend to be Kellen Winslow.



You think that your girl's undies make a sufficient substitute for wearing a helmet.



You keep telling the guy you just met at the party how it would be so cool to race mopeds on a professional circuit.



You convince that same guy that scooter skiing is a killer adrenaline rush, brah!



You think Naked Moped Joust is a new Olympic sport. (Why wouldn't it be? Makes sense to us.)

Don't Forget to Flash Your Colors!

Don't forget to annoy your co-workers today by sporting your favorite school's colors!

Today is College Colors Day!

Everyone should be in a great mood today, unless you happen to be a member of the Wolfpack or Beaver nation. For you I can see that cute, no-nothing about sports, front desk receptionist in your office, you know the one you've thought of taking to dinner about 12 times, asking in that sweet, peppy little voice, "So how was the game last night?" Go ahead and prepare yourself now for the response you give because if and when you decide to ask her out someday, you don't want her to remember the tears you shed in her arms about what in her mind is "just a game..."

"Got any Dixie in Ya?"

"Want some?"

That pick up line will get you ALL the ladies!

This is a post we did WAY back in March, but with today being the official start to college football, it is important to know where you stand on this issue before you even turn the tube on for the first game...

When it comes to the world of college football we all know that there is a huge divide between the North and South. It's as if "The War Between The States" never ended. Knowing this, it is important to discover where you stand on the Mason-Dixon Line. With this in mind we offer a simple test. I know it maybe old and you may have seen it before, but take it again! Who knows how much back-to-back SEC National Champs has affected your brain?

BTW - If you still think the Big Ten/Eleven is better than the SEC skip to the next blog entry, we already know your a funny wawlkin' and tawlkin' yank'.

Oh - There is no test for our "sick" friends from "So Cal, Bra!" Just take this one and see what happens.

Yankee or Dixie Test Here

The Last Great American Sport

Every four years the Olympics reminds Americans throughout the country just how cool it is to be patriotic and cheer on the "home" team. But it also raises the question, "What is truly 'American' anymore?"

When Budweiser, "The Great American Lager," is Belgium owned it is hard to know what is American and what is not. This is becoming more and more true in sports. Just like the "Lager" several sports still claim to be American, but are they really? If they aren't, does a truly American sport still exist? Good news my friends, one does still exist and its games begin on Thursday!

Why is there only one true American sport left and what happened to make this a reality? Keep reading and you will see what makes college football the Last Great American Sport.

College football begins on Labor Day Weekend, the last official weekend of America's summer.

MLB, "America's Pastime," held its 2008 opening day game in Tokyo, Japan and like the crazy gymnastics tie breaker rule, an exhibition game decides home field advantage for the World Series.

Wasn't New Year's Day created for college football? If there were no bowl games would January 1st still be a holiday? BTW - This is an advantage the NCAA has over other sports that they are slowly trying to give away, however that is a discussion for another day.

NASCAR, a sport started in America's south introduced a foreign plate last year, Toyota, and with the help of Joe Gibbs Racing, they are currently dominating the field.

The NFL owned NFL Europe, plays regular season games in Mexico and London, and the Bills are sneaking out the back door, leaving the blue-collar fans in Buffalo for the Canadians of Toronto.

The rise of the Euro combined with the dreams of European multi-millionaires, has brought much talk about NBA players jumping ship for riches across the pond. Some McDonald's "All-Americans" have already beat them too it.

What is more American than smoking a hog, drinking a beer, watching football and enjoying your favorite campus all from the comfort of your "tailgate?"

Rivalries still exist in college football. Free agency has killed rivalries in the pros. When OU and Texas play it is for state pride and watch your scrotum. TO has played for the 49ers, Eagles, and even after dishonoring the field at Texas Stadium, Cowboy fans have embraced him as one of their own.

College football has the Holiday Bowl, not the Christmas Bowl, or the Kwanzaa Bowl, or the Hanukkah Bowl, or even the Festivus Bowl, but the Holiday Bowl. What is more American than this generic, politically correct name?

No David Beckham needed in college football! Plus there are a 100,000 co-eds, on campuses all across the country that look way better than Posh. They are indeed "So Major!"

ESPN College Gameday is built by the Home Depot. What is more American than a sponsor that assists in the upkeep, remodel, and update of your "American Dream?"

Lastly, as much as most of us hate it, college football is the only sport that is decided in the most democratic of ways, a popular vote.

What do you think makes college football the Last Great American Sport? Let us know.

Football's Ten Commandments - Women's Edition

Gentlemen. It seems turn about is fair play!

Strolling through our email inbox the other day we ran across a response from, Cary Luhn in Asheville, NC, to our post Football's Ten Commandments, an outline for how our significant others should behave during the college football season. The following is a woman's response to that entry.

If any of you forwarded the original post to your significant others, this one might get you out of the doghouse. Ladies if your college football guy proudly printed and pasted the first "commandments" on the fridge as a daily reminder, you have every right to do the same with this response.

"Here is the female response to these "commandments".

1. We will give you control of the TV from August through December. We will limit our complaining. In return, we control the TV for the rest of the year, and can watch HGTV and Food Network anytime. You will limit your complaining.

2. We will crawl on the floor so as not to interrupt your viewing, but you will be expected to vacuum all the crumbs, dirt, and dog hairs we will naturally see upon such close examination the following morning.

3. We'll read the sports section or pretend to know what you are talking about. But, about this yelling thing? Do not talk to the players on TV, especially in first names. You don't know these people, so you are most definitely not on a first name basis with them – no matter how good or bad the play is. Besides, it calls us to seriously question your sanity, and we'd hate for you to be locked up in a mental hospital and miss the Poinsettia Bowl.

4. You can be as drunk as you want during the game and we'll oblige, but you will still be expected to help us with whatever we need on Sunday (or Friday, or Saturday) morning. How early it is depends on how drunk and obnoxious you are – the drunker, the earlier.

5. We will gladly keep a stocked fridge of Bud Light Lime and fresh vegetables and fruit for you to snack on until your heart is content.

6. First, honey, you are in the South, and we do know as much about football as you. We understand that it is more than a game. If you need help expressing your anger and frustration, we'll let you clean the house, run errands, and such. That is how we regularly work out our frustrations with our husbands, and it works, because we do not have 10 Commandments to help wives survive life with husbands.

7. Did you say gifts?

8. Well, as much as I would like to, I really can't control when babies are born. It would seem, according to your commandments, that you are only able to drink, watch TV and yell from August through bowl season. One can infer that the act that results in babies must be saved for January through April,which, according to the laws of nature, inevitably results in babies being born in Football Season. So either you (and your cohorts) give in some during football season, or you go to baby showers when I request, k?

9. Umm, if halftime is a chance for you to go check scores of other games on the internet or call your buddies to talk about the games, then it is also a chance for me to say whatever I have held in for the past hour and a half. And, this one can go both ways. Herbstriet is good looking, and I am particularly interested in what he has to say. He is, to us women, what Erin Andrews is to you men. So, shut up and I'll shut up.

10. Yes, dear, we know you are immune to it. There is a fantasy team starting every other month. The ESPN ticker image is burned on to our TV. The computer is overheating from your furious surfing to all the sports sites. We say this because we know it pushes your buttons. I'm just glad it only lasts a few months."

Have a witty response to our blog entries? Send them our way! We enjoy reading what you have to say. You can email us at email@thecollegefootballguys.com or comment on the Comment link below any of our posts.

Football's Ten Commandments

We here at The College Football Guys.com received this forward, of a forward that was posted on Tiger Droppings, whose poster got it from someone else, so we are mearly acting as a conduit and passing it on to you.

Here are the Ten Commandments for your significant other and how they should behave when dealing with you this football season. Print them off today and place them on the refrigerator to make sure there is no confussion. Enjoy!

1. From the last weekend in August until the end of the bowl season, the television is mine, at all times, without any exceptions. The remote control will be fingerprinted each night, any sign of your fingerprints and all shopping trips will be canceled for a month.

2. If you have to pass by in front of the TV during a game, for an important reason such as preparing snacks or getting the beers, I don't mind, as long as you crawl along the floor.

3. During the football season, read the sports section of the newspaper so that you understand who I'm yelling at during the season. As a tip, check the box scores for the referees names too.

4. During the games I will be drunk as Cooter Brown. You cannot expect me to listen to you, open the door, kill any spiders, answer the phone, etc. It ain't gonna happen.

5. It would be a good idea for you to keep at least 2 six packs in the fridge at all times, as well as plenty of things to nibble on, and please do not make any funny faces to my friends when they come over to watch the games. In return, you will be allowed to use the TV between 12am and 6am, unless they replay a good game that I missed during the day.

6. Please, please, please!! if you see me upset because my team is losing, DO NOT say I'll get over it, it ' s only a game, or don't worry, they'll win next time. If you say these things, you will only make me angrier and I will love you less. Remember, you will never ever know more about football than me and your so called ' words of encouragement ' will only lead to a break up or divorce.

7. If a great play occurs while you are in the room, you may be required to freeze or repeat your act for the rest of the game as good mojo. If my team wins, you will be showered with gifts for the next 6 days. If they lose, you will be blamed repeatedly for moving, blinking or secretly not believing in your heart of the power of mojo.

8. Tell your friends NOT to get married, have any babies, or any other social related parties or gatherings that requires my attendance because: I will not go, I will not go, and I will not go. However, if a friend of mine invites us to his house on a Saturday to watch a game, we will be there before the Coors Light bottles reach ' Code Blue ' .

9. You are welcome to sit with me to watch one game and you can talk to me during halftime but only when the commercials are on, and only if the halftime score is pleasing me. College Game day and the highlights on Saturday night are just as important as the games themselves. Even if I curse Lou, Herbie, and Corso, I still want to hear what they say.

10. And finally, please save your expressions such as: ' Thank God the football season is only during the Fall. ' I am immune to these words, because after this comes the NFL playoffs, the Pro Bowl, AFL, AFL2, the CFL, and the replays on the college sports channels.

"Bezerkley Express"

The guys who brought you Superbad are at it again! After a mere two second absence from the big screen, Seth Rogen is back as Pineapple Express hits theaters today! What promises to be an entertaining and funny movie includes the largest budget ever for a "stoner" flick.

Big money spent on stoners reminded us of a couple other organizations that "enjoy" spending big money on potheads - the City of Berkeley, CA and the University of California. What is going on in the half baked, city by the bay?

Here is the quick and dirty bong water on the situation.

* Three hippies are left in the trees and have been there since December 2006. (Wouldn't it have been something to see that kind of commitment out of the Cal football team last year?)

* Judge Barbara Miller issued a preliminary injunction on Jan. 29, 2007, which temporarily stopped the construction of a university planned athletic training facility. Two weeks ago she issued a ruling that allows the project to go forward stating the university has addressed her main concerns about the project.

* The ruling has been appealed by two plaintiff groups keeping the injunction in place until the 13th of August.

* However the injunction could be removed as early as next week and if the state Court of Appeal doesn't grant a stay. Once removed the university is clear to begin construction.

* The university has asked for more city support to control tree protest supporters.

Below is an "informative" report from the Fan Media Network. Poor, poor football players and their extra half a mile walk to the stadium. It is obvious they don't know the meaning of 212 degrees like their UC "bear cubs" in LA.

Bottom line, this whole thing could get VERY interesting next week. My advise to the protesters, get really baked on the good ganja this week as it appears the jig is up.

When the haze settles, be careful out there. Running Wolf and his posse of regulators might be headed to your college town to stop the construction of your new multi-million dollar athletic facility. I can hear the battle cry now!

Regulators. We regulate any cuttin' of these here trees, we're DAMN good too. But you can't be any hippie off the street. You've gotta be handy with the tow lines and the pee bottles if you know what I mean, earn your keep. Regulators Mount Up!

I just hope they all at least get a cameo in Seth's sequel "Pineapple Express Tokes Again."

The Cover Don't Lie!

We here at The College Football Guys were REALLY trying to avoid the whole Brett Favre fiasco, however it has become increasingly difficult to do so.

Should the Pack keep him? Trade him? Make him go away!?

What a circus this has all become! Welcoming party at the airport like he is the second coming of The Beatles! Maybe John McCain should pay Brett $20 million to go on the road and help "market" his struggling presidential campaign?

In all of this hubbub it seems that GM Ted Thompson is missing an obvious clue to determine what this season will bring. A devise more accurate than the Magic 8 ball he has been using to make all his decisions in this process. ("Will Brett Favre be a Packer?" the 8 ball told me "Outlook not so good".)

"What is this famous prognosticating devise you speak of?" Why the Madden '09 cover of course!

In April the fellas at EA Sports thought it would be cute to break the "Madden Curse" by placing a "retired" player on the cover. Little good that has done! Maybe the true reason Favre is coming back is to take on the greatest challenge of all - breaking "The Curse."

Mr. Thompson, the decision is clear. Trade Favre before August 12th, Madden's release date. Before everyone is reminded about the hex hanging over Favre's head this year. What a great opportunity to put a hex on to your division rivals!

DUI Attorney or NCAA Stadium?

The two most recent DUI arrests of Kentucky QB Curtis Pulley and Arkansas WR Marques Wade are just a couple of the MANY DUI issues that have continued to plague the college football landscape. This has given us yet another opportunity to have a little fun and promote our podcast in the process.

Once one has been arrested for a DUI it becomes extremely important to find adequate representation and find it fast. There are SO many DUI attorney's out there and SO many of their names remind us of college football stadiums. In order to help these young men out and to test your knowledge of Division I-A/FBS college football stadiums, we have produced the following list.

Which of these names represents a DUI attorney or a college football stadium? Good Luck!

Carter Finley
Dunham Rogers
Sean Sullivan
Dowdy Ficklen
Joan Edwards
William Kibbie
Casey Mulligan
John Scheumann
J. Layne Smith
Jason Dunkle
Kelly Shorts
Clarence Martin
John Lloyd
Wallace Wade

The answers can be found in the latest edition of our podcast. Click here and push play!

Don't Give Up!

Today is a great day to give to a great cause. One out of every two males and one out of every three females will have cancer in their lifetime. Everyone knows someone that has been affected by this terrible affliction.

You can help!

By calling 1-800-4-JIMMY-V and giving $5, $20, $100, $1000, any amount. 100% of your money will go to cancer research and help find a cure for cancer. Take a moment and do what you can today.

This speech is one of my favorites. Enjoy!

Don't give up, don't ever give up!

NCAA '09 IS HERE!

It is a day we have been waiting for since about a month after EA Sports released NCAA '08! A day that college students, pizza delivery drivers, out of work real estate agents, Blockbuster night managers, and a couple paperboys wait in line for the first copy of NCAA '09. Even though Toledo's Rocky the Rocket didn't make the cover we are happy this day has arrived!

National productivity just took a hit. There will be more than a couple lawns that go unmowed this weekend and your pizza might arrive in closer to 45 minutes, instead of 30.

For those of you that haven't gotten there's yet, enjoy this preview!

Thanks!

We here at The College Football Guys wanted to take a moment and say thanks! Thanks to SI On Campus, Colin Cowherd, and various forums for mentioning us and giving us some much appreciated exposure. More importantly, thanks to all of you for checking us out. We hope you enjoy the posts and our podcasts.

It is our desire to bring a bit of entertainment to your day. Our intention is not to break down games, or bore you with unending statistics. There are plenty of sites that provide you that knowledge if you really need it. We just want to have a little fun with the game of college football.

That is not to say we won't do our homework or research before we turn keystroke to pixel. Collectively we have been to over 200 campuses nationwide and hail from all parts of the country. We truly want to give you an interesting, witty, unbiased slant to college football.

Please enjoy and if you have any ideas for the podcast or the blog, let us know! Our email is email@thecollegefootballguys.com.

Thanks again for taking the time out of your busy day to read and listen to our musings!

Happy 4th of July!

How can you really tell the difference between Northern guys, Southern folks, and West Coast kids? One true test lies in the way we stuff our face.

Northerner's argue amongst each other about the true way to dress a hot dog. A "Coney" is served "Mustard ONLY." In Chicago you top the frank with relish, tomatoes, mustard, dill pickle and absolutely NO KETCHUP! Who makes the best "Philly" steak? What's the difference between hoagies, grinders, heroes and subs?

Southerner's spend copious amounts of time discussing who makes the best BBQ. Texas, Carolina, Memphis, or Missouri. Wet or Dry. Mustard, Ketchup, or Vinegar based. The debate goes on and on! If you ask them about it make sure you have some time to talk.

West Coast Kids spend their time at the beach, hiking a mountain or just taking in the great nature they have been blessed with. They don't expend as much energy arguing amongst each other. They put whatever they want, on whatever they want, and don't think twice - like fruit on pizza. A west coast kid truly believes the best type of BBQ is a good bonfire on the beach and a straight stick to grill a weenie on.

Have a Happy 4th of July! Make sure you spend more time eating and less time arguing, because all of it is GOOD!

Rest In Peace My Friend!

Well we are a blog about college football, so we are going to be uncreative and post this clip up. Rest In Peace George! We will miss you! Come on football season!

Dreams Do Come True!

Boobs filled with alcohol!?! Every man's dream just became a reality with the invention of the "Wine Rack." The people at Cooler Fun who brought us the "Cooler Wagon" have given us the greatest tailgate gift EVER! Who needs a flask when you can hide your alcohol in your girlfriend's breasts? Not only is it functional, but it also "lifts and separates." Now we know why TSA agents were busted for running their hands along women's bras. They were simply looking for that over 3 oz. container of liquid you were trying to smuggle past security!


Just in case you don't have a woman in your life, or one that is willing to give up her safely padded miracle bra for yours - full of beer, Cooler Fun wants to make sure you are still taken care of with the "Beer Belly." I can't think of an easier way to fool that GED striving, security guard at a college football game near you. This is sure to provide hours of enjoyment. Warning: If used more than once you will NOT look like the guy in this pic. Oh who am I kidding you don't look like him now.

Thanks to http://www.sioncampus.com/ for the heads up on these magnificent creations!

Another Friday, Another Office Mess

Don't you wish it was this simple sometimes...