Saturday, May 17, 2008

Happy Graduation!

Graduation time is here! Time for all those great ceremonies with "famous" speakers that an hour after the event you won't remember their names or even what was said. However a lucky few get to hear great things from people you might actually remember. Here is a list of commencement speakers taking part in ceremonies through out the land.

Here are a couple of our favorites:

Elizabeth Dole - Central Piedmont Community College (Not sure whether to be impressed with CPCC or upset that the former presidential candidate can only get CC gigs.)

George W. Bush - Furman University (Obvious cap decoration - FU W!)

Al Gore - Carnegie Mellon (Doesn't it seem like a cruel irony that a Nobel Peace Prize winner for promoting Global Warming is speaking at a graduation for a school whose founder and namesake, Andrew Carnegie, was a "Captain of Industry" and helped start the Industrial Revolution?)

Nancy A. Grace - Mercer University (Will probably set the record for the longest speech with the fewest words)

Bill Cosby - North Carolina A&T State University ("The pride of Temple" is back to speak at a university that could probably have a longer name if they tired a little harder.)

Dan Marino - University of Pittsburgh (Afterwards coach Dave Wannstedt will ask him to suit up to take over at QB this year.)

Bud Selig - Bethany College (Bud is going to the only place in the free world that hasn't even heard of electricity, so how could they know anything about "performance enhancing" drugs?)

Chuck Norris - Liberty College (Perfect fit. Since we all know that America didn't have liberty until Chuck Norris created it.)

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