Gifts for Everyone!

The holidays are here and with it brings goodwill, gifts, and well wishes! With this in mind we here at the College Football Guys wish to give a load of gifts away this season.

We extend the following gifts and wishes to these college football programs.

Texas and freshman safety Blake Gideon - A second chance at an interception that would have ended the "Miracle in Lubbock" and given the 'Horns a January trip to Miami over Glendale.

Miami of Ohio - Mike Haywood without his great offensive play calling skills.

Arizona Wildcat Fans- The three year extension you just gave Mike Stoops back. Trust us you will want it back after next year. Seems Wildcat fans have forgotten this Stoops isn't Bob.

USC and Pete Carroll - Independence from the Pac Ten. As an independent the Trojans would enjoy a schedule without 0-12 Washington and 2-10 WAZZU.

The State of Washington - A victory against a FBS school located outside the borders of the Evergreen State.

Ohio State - A BCS game against a team outside of the SEC. Done! Maybe you won't have to change the locker room combination this year.

Auburn - Like the sibling that can't compete for his parent's affection our gift to the Tigers is self confidence, not a new coach. Just because your brother isn't sick anymore and is starting to beat you up again doesn't mean you suck! Just means you were never as good as him.

Michigan - A historic season. Wait that WAS 2008! OK, how about a Sheraton Hawaii Bowl invitation for '09 and a QB that can run the spread option.

Baylor - A transfer from the Big 12 South to the Big 12 North. The Bears will shine with freshman QB Robert Griffin but not as brightly as they would playing the foes in the Big 12's northland.

Texas A&M - A formation that allows an eligible 12th man. Maybe they can sneak one in on the Piedmont A 11 offense.



Arizona State - An offensive line that can protect a QB and the ability to win ANY big game. Littl' Elway better have pop's legs.

Indiana - A 2009 schedule packed full of Northwestern and FCS programs.

UCLA and Rick Neuheisel - About 14, 15, maybe 16 less interceptions from a starting quarterback.

Vanderbilt - Knowledge that the season is 12 games long, not six. Season ending losses to Miss. State, Tennessee, and Duke left a gash on a great start to the season.

Kansas State - A spring recruiting class full of freshmen. Ron Prince's experiment to sign 19 JC transfers this year reeked of desperation and didn't turn out so well.

West Virginia - 4 more years of Pat White.

Notre Dame - A victory in a bowl for the first time since 1993.

Merry Christmas to all...


...and to the Irish a good night.

What We Learned Week Fifteen

This weekend we learned that the BCS has deemed Florida and Oklahoma good enough to play in the BCS Championship Game. There was a couple other nuggets of knowledge that the College Football Guys picked up this weekend and we wish to pass them on to you.

The ACC should find a Florida high school football stadium to host their championship game in. The game's move from Jacksonville to Tampa this year produced an attendance that only a minor league baseball team would be proud of. Which is pretty handy considering they might want to consult some minor league teams for promotional ideas to attract more fans through the gates. Here are our thoughts:

10. Dollar beer.
9. Free Frank Beamer bobble head dolls to the first 8,000 fans.
8. "Michael Vick, Bring Your Dog to the Game Day."
7. Schedule an FCS program.
6. Collectible "Bowden Bowl" T-shirts from the early 2000's. Limited quantity. When there gone there gone!
5. Option to buy 2 tickets to the ACC Basketball Championship Game to the fan that wears the best Mike K. costume to the game.
4. Chance for a fan to win a $100,000 scholarship from Dr. Pepper. Wait. Scratch that. Already tried it.
3. Parachutists that land in Orlando instead of Raymond James Stadium.
2. Doug Flutie #22 Rosaries given to the first 2,222 fans.
1. Winning team splits the ACC conference's share of the $17 million BCS payout with any fan that turns in their used ticket stub.

Auburn showed the world this week how much of an attention seeking, step-brother they are to Alabama. Why would you fire a coach with 8 winning seasons, one 13-0 season, and six straight victories against your rival? The decision seems obvious. Auburn fans don't want the world to think that Arkansas has the SEC's most juvenile and obnoxious fans. It looks as though the lunacy of two programs is Mississippi's gain.

Alabama coach Nick Saban spoke of loyalty this week. Yes, you read that right! Nick Saban, "The King of Loyalty" criticized SEC football programs for being too quick to jump ship. Don't believe us? Here (at 1:35) is the video to prove it.

Nick Saban press conference 12-03-08

Rudy Carpenter taught us that getting thrown out of a girl's high school basketball game is no way to prepare for a rivalry game. However Rudy's lack of focus may have allowed Mike Stoops to take his home off the market.

Steve Sarkisian was named the next coach of the University of Washington. We will see if Husky fans find him an offensive genius when calling the plays for a team that had no player find the end zone more than four times this year.

Best use of a white out: West Virginia players and fans choice to honor Pat White with a "White Out" showed the nation what college football should be about.


Best revival of a uniform tradition: Pete Carroll's decision to bring the crimson uniforms to Pasadena for a UCLA home game. While some schools try soo hard to find the next "hot" thing (Oregon), sometimes all you have to do is reach back in the closet.


Worst new uniform of the weekend: One advantage to the new camouflage and black uniforms Army broke out this weekend is that dirt and grass stains are less obvious. The equipment managers for Army found this particularly helpful this weekend after Navy plowed the field with the Black Knights.


Go NAVY! Beat ARMY!

What We Learned Week Fourteen

While the College Football Guys may not have figured out if the BCS got the Big 12 South tie breaker right (find out what we think in this week's podcast tonight!). We still learned an awful lot this weekend in college football. Below is just a sample.

It is no wonder the Big 12 conference is getting so much love this year. Watching the end of a Big 12 game is like watching the end of a March Madness game. Both Kansas/Missouri and Nebraska/Colorado games were decided in the final minute. Kansas with a play from Todd Reesing that would make Flutie proud and Nebraska with a 57 yard field goal! One can only hope the Dr. Pepper Big 12 Championship Game brings as much excitement.



How fast has the luster faded from the MIGHTY SEC? With a victory over rival FSU, Florida avoided an Almost College football Conference weekend sweep of the SEC. South Carolina, Georgia and the former darlings of Vanderbilt each lost their regular season finales. Their defeats brought the SEC's record to 6-10 vs. BCS programs this year and 4-6 vs. the ACC. Before Florida's victory on Saturday night the last BCS program the SEC defeated was at Arizona State on September 20th! Since that game the SEC has lost to Texas, Wake (twice), West Virginia, Duke, Georgia Tech, Clemson as well as non-BCS "powerhouse" Wyoming.

Notre Dame found out Saturday night who the true five star athletes are. USC's dominance of the Irish was not defined enough in the 38-3 score. The true stat is the 91 yards of total offense the Trojans held ND to. The Irish could muster only 9 yards in the first half and achieved their first, first down on the last play of the third quarter. NO ONE can argue that recruiting web sites and magazines have been inflating Notre Dame classes for years in an attempt to sell subscriptions and memberships. There isn't a single player on ND's roster that would start for USC.

The "Mad Hatter," Les Miles at LSU, was out "Hatted" this weekend by Arkansas. Razorback QB Casey Dicks threw a 24 yard TD pass with 22 seconds remaining to win the game for the Hogs. It is safe to say that the luck, er "great calls," of 2007 just weren't there for the Tigers in 2008.

Who says that Houston Nutt is the only "Right Reverend" in the SEC? Georgia coach Mark Richt sure looked like he was doing plenty of preaching on Saturday when he made his teamtake a knee and gather 'round after the third quarter. We all know the only reason teams go into the locker room at halftime is so the band can use the field.

Rick Neuheisel will start winning at UCLA when he finds a QB that throws more touchdowns to players in powder blue and gold than the opposition. Arizona State returned three Kevin Craft interceptions for touchdowns on Friday night (Craft's 17th, 18th, and 19th INT for the year to 7 TD's). Add the 71 yard fumble return for a touchdown you have an NCAA record for four defensive scores in one game. Remove the mistakes? UCLA wins 9-6.

Several uniform issues that came up this weekend. Since when did it become popular for kickers to color coordinate their shoes with their uniforms? Just goes to show that flipping through Eastbay catalogs takes up a majority of a kicker's practice/film study time. We wonder if these kickers ever get jealous of their girlfriends' shoe collection.




Seems that University of Missouri/Columbia researcher, David Brunsma findings were true in "that student uniforms have no direct effect on substance use, behavioral problems, or attendance." While he was talking about uniforms in the classroom of K-12 students he could have easily done his research on the results of college football programs wearing alternative uniforms. Especially ones that are piss yellow.

Change

Change.

A buzzword that has been at the forefront of our presidential election for well over a year now and with the election of Barack Obama as our 44th president last night, the word change might just become the most used word of 2008.

Hope.

With the ousting of, Tommy Bowden at Clemson, Ty Willingham at Washington, and Phillip Fulmer at Tennessee, change and hope for a brighter future have become buzzwords around campus in Clemson, Seattle, and Knoxville.

"The only thing that remains constant in life is change." While this is true, there are some important things to think about when facing change within a college program.

In some cases change has proven to be a good thing.

In Gainsville, Gator fans decided enough was enough with Zooker, lets give young Urban a chance. One title and a Heisman trophy winner later, Myer's spread option has turned college football upside down.

In Tuscaloosa, Tide fans said no more to Alabama native Shula in favor of a coach with no Crimson in his blood. Some may argue that only the color of money flows through Saban's veins. None the less, so far, so good.

Trojan fans chose an unsuccessful NFL wash out, Pete Carroll, over a former NFL coordinator in hopes of change. We all know the success that has brought LA.

Sometimes the answer is no change at all. A storm is recognized for what it is, a weather system, not the inhalation of the sun and the end of life as we know it.

Players involved in off the field incidents in the off season combined with the apparent lack of success on the field, Joe Pa was questioned repeatedly before the season began if this would be his last year. A 9-0 Nittany Lion title contender has shut those rumblings up.

During the off season, plans were made in Tallahassee to ensure a successor was in place to replace their legend. The question was no longer who is next, but when. A quick start to the 2008 season has silenced those questions.

Sometimes change just isn't the answer.

Squeaky voiced Chuck Amato was asked to leave NC State in 2006. What Wolfpack fans really should have done is signed Phillip Rivers to a long term deal.

The administration at Colorado State thought their program was bigger than it is and asked long time coach Sonny Lubick to step down. Needless to say the Rams still play on Sonny Lubick field, but not to the level they have grown to expect.

Arizona State relieved themselves of a coach that couldn't "win the big games" and replaced him with one that hasn't won a big game yet. Dennis' Sun Devils have lost 6 in a row for the first time in program history.

Once the decision has been made to change, two important things must be addressed.

The first is the easiest to figure out. Recognize who you are. What have you done in the past and why you want change? Is change really necessary? The move of firing a coach can be so simple sometimes that the root of the problem is never discovered and never addressed.

The second issue is the most important; assessing who you want to be as a program and putting a plan together to get there. This involves goal setting, developing strategies and setting standards that will usher in the desired results. This is most difficult phase of the process, because without it, the change you seek ends up being no change at all.

So remember Clemson, Seattle, and Knoxville, if you do not fully understand who you are, why you want a change and where you want to go, you might end up fulfilling another famous prophesy. "The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results."

What We Learned Week Three

After putting our collective heads back on straight, here are some things we, The College Football Guys, learned this weekend in college football.

Even though USC dominated The Ohio State the rest of the PAC looked more like the WAC going a collective 3-7 for the weekend, including 0-2 vs. the Big 12 and 0-4 vs. the MWC!

One would have thought ASU would have been 3-0 heading into the Georgia game this week, however it appears that they watched too much coverage of the BYU/Washington game last week as they too could not keep a 35 yard field goal from being blocked.

Not only did UNLV walk away from Tempe with the biggest win in program history, they also received a tidy $400,000 for their, um, troubles? The school immediately placed their money on USC to win the BCS Title.

It is obvious that the emotional stress the Cal football team suffered due to the removal of their most devoted and avid fans from the Oak Grove this week affected their play on the field vs Maryland. Trust me it wasn't "jet lag," it was emotional trauma.

Virginia Tech finally played a home game that carried some significance, allowing us the opportunity to learn that the Hokies have found a new way to make "Chicago Maroon" and Burnt Orange look terrible together.


So far it seems that when it comes to winners for major non-conference games the schools with the best looking women are winning...

Could Texas Tech play someone, ANYONE, so we could have some idea how good their offense is? U Mass coming to town this weekend. That makes two Division I-AA schools this year! Maybe they should just join the ACC! At least Mike Leach continues to bring us quality entertainment.

16 Major League Baseball teams outscored the "newfangled" spread offense of the mighty Auburn Tigers on Saturday. Auburn got the 3-2 victory, however Ohio State's 3 points only got them embarrassed again on national TV. BTW - UCLA would have lost to all but two MLB teams on Saturday.

Speaking of UCLA, Provo wants former BYU 0ffensive coordinator Norm Chow to know that they are thankful for the memories, but they are doing just fine with out him. UCLA also needs to rethink scheduling a week three games in Utah. Mike Stoops of Arizona might want to do the same with New Mexico.

Middle Tennessee State reminded us this week that football is indeed a game of inches.

Husky fans learned Saturday that "Boomer Sooner" is every bit as annoying as the Trojan's "Victory." At this point in the season it seems that the nation will get the opportunity to decide for themselves on January 8th 2009 in Miami. Maybe FOX can get Ryan Seacrest to come to Miami and encourage fans to vote. Heck we can't wait that long, lets just decide today.

Pac Ten as Fine Wine

When thinking of the Pacific Ten Conference one might compare it to drinking a glass of fine wine; soft and aloof. Daily reminders of "west coast bias" might cause an SEC fan to proclaim, "Would you like some more cheese with that whine?"

The self proclaimed "Conference of Champions," with more NCAA titles than any other conference and schools that reside in cities like Seattle, San Fran, Los Angeles and Phoenix often can be thought of pretentious and ambitious. With this in mind we have a few wine selections that might come in handy when describing the programs of the Pac Ten.

Arizona - Chateu Ste. Michelle Neillie's Garden Dry Rosé. This might be the only rose these fans ever get their hands on. Quick trivia question to stump your friends: What Pac Ten team has never been to a Rose Bowl? "Arizona. May the Lute be with you. Always."

Arizona State - Yellow Tail. Fun to look at, much like Sun Devil women. Young, hip, and mass produced. Easy to buy and consume. Prays every day to be as well liked as its California counterparts.

Cal - Gainey Riesling. Aromatic grape variety, displaying flowery, almost perfumed, aromas. Useful in covering the smell of a tree hugger after 18 months without a bath. Rieslings are rarely "oaked." Perfect. Victory for every Berkeley tree lover!

Stanford - 1787 Chateau Lafite. Old and sophisticated. Requires too much knowledge and money to actually enjoy. However young ex-quarterback is trying desperately to knock the dust off this bottle.

Oregon - Cristal (Champagne). The packaging and marketing of the product has caused it to be wildly overpriced and over hyped. Highly fashionable early pick, yet rarely delivers as portrayed.

Oregon State - Charles Shaw, aka "Two Buck Chuck". Great deal of value in this wine and program. Minimal amounts of money spent yet outperform their foes in head-to-head competition year in and out. Overachievers.

USC - Robert Mondavi. Quality of product brought world wide recognition to their geographical areas. Widely popular and have become the standard bearer in their industry. Though a jealous few may call them overrated.

UCLA - Kendall Jackson. REALLY wants to be like Robert Mondavi. Looking for youth and enthusiasm to provide energy in a program that desires to move from behind the shadows of its cross town rival.

Washington - Bartels and Jaymes. Once a big time player. An easy choice for those looking for a change. Extremely relevant in the 80's and early 90's now largely forgotten.

Washington State - Château cardboard, aka "Boxed Wine", cheap, convenient, can be found easily at the local general store. Would have went with "Two Buck Chuck" here, but know there is not a Trader Joe's within 120 miles of Pullman. Plus it is obvious from this video that Cougar women don't need anything very sophisticated. PLEASE go to 1:42 on this video. You won't be disappointed!

SEC/USC fans you might want to start at 1:27.



Stay tuned to this blog as we reveal more comparisons. How do SEC schools stack up to your favorite liquor? What beer best represents your Big Ten school? Which woman is your Big 12 school most like?

Late Entry

Updated 6/20/08: Readers are coming in with more entries for ASU. Enjoy and nice work out there!





Here comes a late entry for ASU.

Decision '08 (UGA @ ASU) Day 2

Decision '08 - UGA @ ASU continues.

Do you have something to add to help the readers decide? Post the pic or link in the comments section! Who has the best looking girls?

Georgia?



Arizona State?

Decision '08 (UGA @ ASU)

All the preseason mags are out. All the pundits are starting to assess the season to see who is going to win this year in college football. We thought we would bring the argument to the people by helping you decide who should win a couple of marque match ups we have this season. We could break down who has the best quarterback, or defense, or special teams, or we could just figure out the victor from who has the best looking women!

Today we start with a week "breaking down" the Arizona State/Georgia game. It won't be just the temperature in the desert that will be hot on September 20th. You make the call. Which school has the best looking women?

Georgia?

Arizona State?

Stay tuned all week for more pictures to help you make your decision!

Four Horsemen Saddle Up

"The Yanks are Coming! The Yanks are Coming!"

It seems that the Republic is being invaded for the first time since Civil War days! Notre Dame has announced that they will be playing a "home" game in the New Texas Stadium in 2013 against Arizona State University. This combined with a "home" game scheduled for 2009 vs. Washington State in San Antonio has signaled that Notre Dame either believes they are now competing with the Dallas Cowboys as America's Team, or they feel Notre Dame Stadium is not good enough anymore.

One question this college football guy has: "Is Mercedes developing a pope-mobile for Touchdown Jesus?"

Reminds me of an old Texas saying, Notre Dame should be "As welcome as an outhouse breeze."

Jackson takes Alabama

This year's Spring Games will bring more entertainment to the fans than just football. Gridiron Bash has started scheduling and promoting concerts for the Friday before participating program's Spring Game to make what already is a zoo into a zoo with rockin' tunes! Here is a sample of the schools and artists:

Alabama - Alan Jackson (Which event will bring more people? Concert or the game?)
WVU - Dwight Yoakam (Perfect Fit!)
LSU - Sara Evans and Kid Rock?
Texas AM - ZZ Top (Mike Sherman has already started growin' the beard)
Kentucky - Wynonna Judd (Please, please, please bring Ashley on stage!)
Arizona State - 3 Doors Down (Ricky Martin wasn't available)

Not to be outdone by the "Big Guys" the University of Washington delayed the release of their spring game date trying to book the same thing, however I think they found someone else willing to do an encore performance.



BTW - Maybe this halftime performance should have been a sign to Cal that their season had gone down the crapper. Hung, a Cal - Berkeley grad, dressed in purple, singing with the opposition's band...hmmm.

Arizona's newest JC?

In case you didn't see the story.

This maybe why he wasn't thinking clearly...