Signing Day Podcast for the College Football Guys

It is that time of year again!

Time for your favorite college program to sign some good looking high school kids...

Join us as we break down this year's class. Discuss the pro's and con's of an early signing period. Is Seantrel Henderson making the right decision? Kiffin has a man crush on 13 year olds.

Plus one college football guy goes off on 40 year olds "friending prospects" on facebook and the "final score" gives us insight on what Homer Simpson was doing when he was 17.

To listen, click here - press play and Enjoy!

Week 13 Preview Show for College Football Guys

Finally!

College football has given us a true "Rivalry Week" and just in time for Thanksgiving!

Join the College Football Guys as they pick this week's top games.

Texas/AM, Pitt/WVU, Nevada/Boise, Bama/Auburn, Clemson/USC, FSU/Florida, Miami/USF, OSU/OU, Utah/BYU, UT/UK, UGA/GT, UCLA/USC.

Of course no preview show is complete without a word from our sponsor.

Click here. Press play and Enjoy!

Week Four Podcast is Here!

ANOTHER week of upsets!?

Join the college football guys as they attempt to explain why these upsets keep happening and which one surprised them the most. Also, the game you have all been waiting for it - Real or Silicone is back! Find out what we think about Kansas, Wisconsin, UCLA, Texas A&M, Michigan, Auburn, and LSU.

Plus is it time to be done with Florida State? Can Miami rebound this week? Is Iowa a BCS contender? Will Cal now fall off a cliff? That and soo much more!

You know what to do! Click here. Press play and ENJOY!

A Saturday with No Football

We knew August 28th, the day the season started, that this day would come.

Alas it is on the horizon. A Saturday with no football!

No more tailgates. No ESPN College Gameday. No beautiful co-eds. No band playing our favorite song! It is all gone.

What to do? It has been over three months since we have been without. We are all at a bit of a loss here. How is a man to fill his Saturday without college football?

Let us help you out and offer a few suggestions.

First and most important, if you value your companionship with your significant other, do something with your wife, girlfriend, fiance! Who is that you ask? That is the cute little thing (way to cute for you we might add) that has been patiently waiting to get you back on Saturdays.

She has listened to you yell at the TV. Put up with your drunkenness at all the tailgates. Limited her comments when she caught you drooling over a young co-ed and even fixed you dinner a time or two.

TAKE HER OUT!

Now if you don't have a "significant other" and you:

a. Don't have finals to study for.
b. Live in an area of the country where it is too cold to do anything outside.
c. Believe the only joy that comes from the holiday season is shopping on Christmas Eve.
d. Have already defended your favorite program's NCAA '09 National Title 10 times.
e. Live in a spotlessly clean home.

and

f. Are hopelessly addicted to your 47" flat screen HDTV.

Here is some TV programing that might cure your withdrawal symptoms. Please check your local listings for times in your area.

Are you an ACC fan? Now is your chance to scout next year's schedule. This weekend is the semi finals for the FCS championship. Richmond plays at Northern Iowa, 4pm EST on ESPN. Just in case you are lost Friday night, Montana plays at JMU, 8pm EST on the "Deuce."

Big 12 fans - Storm Chasers; Sean and Reed bring their teams closer to tornadoes than ever before, 2pm CST on Discovery and we must never forget King of the Hill, 3pm CST on FX.

For SEC fans, CMT has you covered with the 12 Days of Redneck Christmas, 5pm EST.

CMT is also helping West Virginia fans with Larry the Cable Guy's Star-Studded Christmas Extravaganza at 9:30pm EST. It is rumored that Mountaineer head coach Bill Stewart is co-hosting.

Bill Dance Outdoors on Versus at 1pm EST gives us a nice review of the 2008 Tennessee football season. In case you don't get a chance to catch it, we have posted it below.



Kind of reminds you of Ol' Fulmer, don't it?

Layla Kiffin says goodbye on Bravo's 7pm PST airing of Real Housewives of Orange County.

Auburn boosters call in to CNBC's 8pm EST showing of the Suze Orman Show to ask if paying $5.1 million to buy out one of the most successful coaches in the SEC is a sound financial decision. Suze's reaction is priceless.



Cal fans will find An Inconvenient Truth airing on Discovery at 1pm PST.

For those Notre Dame, Washington, WAZZU, Syracuse, Iowa State, Michigan, SMU, and North Texas fans, Trainwrecks is on Spike at noon EST. If you need something in prime time Mission Impossible III is on TNT at 11pm EST.

For Oregon, Cal, Missouri, Army, Central Michigan and every other programs that donned ugly uni's this year, What Not To Wear is on TLC at 4, 5, and 6pm EST.

Bottom line: Whatever you do, don't forget the Heisman Trophy Presentation is at 8pm EST on (where do you think?) ESPN.

Don't worry. This weekend is just a practice for January as Bowl Season begins bright and early at 11am EST, Saturday, December 20th!

What We Learned Week Fifteen

This weekend we learned that the BCS has deemed Florida and Oklahoma good enough to play in the BCS Championship Game. There was a couple other nuggets of knowledge that the College Football Guys picked up this weekend and we wish to pass them on to you.

The ACC should find a Florida high school football stadium to host their championship game in. The game's move from Jacksonville to Tampa this year produced an attendance that only a minor league baseball team would be proud of. Which is pretty handy considering they might want to consult some minor league teams for promotional ideas to attract more fans through the gates. Here are our thoughts:

10. Dollar beer.
9. Free Frank Beamer bobble head dolls to the first 8,000 fans.
8. "Michael Vick, Bring Your Dog to the Game Day."
7. Schedule an FCS program.
6. Collectible "Bowden Bowl" T-shirts from the early 2000's. Limited quantity. When there gone there gone!
5. Option to buy 2 tickets to the ACC Basketball Championship Game to the fan that wears the best Mike K. costume to the game.
4. Chance for a fan to win a $100,000 scholarship from Dr. Pepper. Wait. Scratch that. Already tried it.
3. Parachutists that land in Orlando instead of Raymond James Stadium.
2. Doug Flutie #22 Rosaries given to the first 2,222 fans.
1. Winning team splits the ACC conference's share of the $17 million BCS payout with any fan that turns in their used ticket stub.

Auburn showed the world this week how much of an attention seeking, step-brother they are to Alabama. Why would you fire a coach with 8 winning seasons, one 13-0 season, and six straight victories against your rival? The decision seems obvious. Auburn fans don't want the world to think that Arkansas has the SEC's most juvenile and obnoxious fans. It looks as though the lunacy of two programs is Mississippi's gain.

Alabama coach Nick Saban spoke of loyalty this week. Yes, you read that right! Nick Saban, "The King of Loyalty" criticized SEC football programs for being too quick to jump ship. Don't believe us? Here (at 1:35) is the video to prove it.

Nick Saban press conference 12-03-08

Rudy Carpenter taught us that getting thrown out of a girl's high school basketball game is no way to prepare for a rivalry game. However Rudy's lack of focus may have allowed Mike Stoops to take his home off the market.

Steve Sarkisian was named the next coach of the University of Washington. We will see if Husky fans find him an offensive genius when calling the plays for a team that had no player find the end zone more than four times this year.

Best use of a white out: West Virginia players and fans choice to honor Pat White with a "White Out" showed the nation what college football should be about.


Best revival of a uniform tradition: Pete Carroll's decision to bring the crimson uniforms to Pasadena for a UCLA home game. While some schools try soo hard to find the next "hot" thing (Oregon), sometimes all you have to do is reach back in the closet.


Worst new uniform of the weekend: One advantage to the new camouflage and black uniforms Army broke out this weekend is that dirt and grass stains are less obvious. The equipment managers for Army found this particularly helpful this weekend after Navy plowed the field with the Black Knights.


Go NAVY! Beat ARMY!

What We Learned Week Nine

We learned a great deal about college football this weekend so without further ado here are our findings.

This week Tim Tebow gave his full endorsement of Colt McCoy for the Heisman trophy. Which raises the obvious question, "If Superman wears Tim Tebow Pajama's to bed, does Tim Tebow wears Colt McCoy PJ's to bed?" Next task: finding Colt a cape.


Seems No. 1 Texas vs. No. 6 Oklahoma State was only good enough for regional coverage. Nice work ABC/ESPN. The whole west coast enjoyed the thrilling UCLA/Cal game. Can't get enough of that Rick Neuheisel...

For those who were lucky enough to get the top ten match up, you missed the first quarter trying to adjust your TV screen. Even with the new HD TV's it is still hard to translate THAT much orange!


While Georgia piled 52 on LSU, the Bayou Bengals realized how much they REALLY missed their 12th man this weekend.

Vanderbilt's Cinderella season officially came to an end with a 10-7 loss to Duke. The loss combined with Auburn's embarrassing effort at WVU, on Thursday night, gives the SEC a 5-6 record against non-conference BCS schools with 4 match ups remaining. In case you were wondering, the Mountain West is 8-5 vs. non-conference BCS programs.

Went to watch the Ohio State/Penn State game this weekend and a SEC game broke out.

ESPN's College Gameday once again brought us crazy Buckeye fans. Apparently Ohio State's new mantra is "If you can't beat 'em, Boo 'em," as a chorus of boos filled the air every time LSU, Florida, or USC were mentioned on the program. We here at The College Football Guys did a little research and discovered three embarrassing losses by the Buckeyes to these particular programs in the last three years. We were given this advise once and thought we would pass it on to Buckeye fans, "It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt." Just food for thought.

Scholarships for college kickers are overrated. Matt Williams was a normal college kid when he started school this year, but that was before the Red Raiders played the mighty Minutemen of U Mass. During halftime of that game Matt hit a 30 yard field goal for a year of free rent. Mike Leach was in need of a kicker and thought to himself, "I wonder if this kid likes pirates?" Four weeks later Matt connected on 9 of 9 extra point attempts against Kansas. We will soon see if the kid can do it in a clutch.

June Jones brought the "Run and Shoot" to SMU. Unfortunately for the Mustangs all Navy needed was the run. Navy ran the ball 77 times for 404 yards without even attempting a pass for a 34-7 victory! The Midshipman's quarterback carried the ball 41 times for 224 yards and four touchdowns. We are still trying to calculate his QB rating. Georgia Tech coach Paul Johnson is soo jealous.

If you think the BCS is confusing try figuring out the ACC. Maybe instead of a championship game that they can't sell out, the ACC should implement an 8 team playoff. Maybe it will be the model for a real playoff.

Just when we thought Oregon had exhausted their ability to look ugly they found this combination from their 384 possible uniform choices. And you thought your girlfriend had a lot of clothes.

Week Eight Podcast for TCFGs

Another GREAT week of college football. Another GREAT podcast from The College Football Guys!

Join us as we discuss this weekend's three HUGE Big 12 games. Is Texas really number one? Is it good for a program to fire their head coach half way through the season like Clemson did to Tommy Bowden? Whose blow out performance impressed us the most this weekend, Penn State of Florida? Who will win this weekend's marque match ups? Missouri/Texas, BYU/TCU, Kansas/OU, Ohio State/Michigan State.

That and so much more, including the answer to the question: Which rivalry is referred to as "The Oldest Rivalry in the South?"

All you have to do is click this here and press play!

What We Learned Week Seven

What an EXCITING weekend of college football! For those of us who are college football fans it doesn't get much better than the deep fried treat we were served all day Saturday. Games that actually lived up to their billing and the upsets that make the game great. Oh and we also learned some things along the way.

The NBA season is back. Never was that more evident than in the Red River Rivalry. We saw Colt McCoy take the flop twice on the Texas sideline and OU's punter earn a yellow card and a running into the kicker penalty with a couple of well timed flops.

Red River Rivalry is way harder to say than Red River Shootout.

Texas might be number one right now, however the Longhorn's remaining opponents will have something to say about that as they are a combined 53-4.

For those of you that enjoyed the end of the UNC/Notre Dame game you know that the Big East referees wanted you to learn that there is indeed 3,600 seconds in a college football game, not 3,598 seconds.

The Bayou Bengals of LSU may have lost their chance to be number one in the football polls, but at least their band has the best Indiana Jones rendition in the nation!



Speaking of bands, the Badgers proved against Penn State that indeed it wasn't just the band that was missing from Camp Randall last week. Seems there is more to the problem in Madison. Maybe "three yards and a cloud of dust" is about as outdated as Georgia Tech's option offense.

Speaking of GT's vaunted offense, coach Paul Johnson must have scooped up Auburn's former offensive coordinator Tony Franklin to run their offense this weekend. The Yellow Jackets had a scoring fest in their 10-7 victory over Division I-AA Gardner Webb. Who? Gardner Webb.

Speaking of Auburn, maybe Tommy Tuberville should have fired his defensive coordinator instead of his offensive coordinator. The Razorbacks 25 points in Saturday's victory over the Tigers was just 6 points less than the 31 total they scored in their last 3 games.

Speaking of great offenses, you want to know how to stop the "high octane" spread offense? Run, run, run and run the ball some more. Stanford had the ball over 35 minutes and rushed for 286 yards in their 24-23 victory over the "Airzona" offense. Nebraska held the ball for over 40 minutes in their bid to upset Texas Tech. The Husker's mistake; they gave the Red Raiders extra time.

Instead of remodeling maybe Michigan should just rebuild the "Big House." The same end zone goal posts that gave App State their incredible victory also produced a favorable bounce for the mighty Rockets of Toledo.



Or, maybe it is time for a Coach Kevin Borseth intervention?



Adrian Grenier, Entourage's Vincent Chase = Mark Sanchez.


LSU defensive lineman Ricky Jean-Francois finds it easier to talk a big game than actually play in a big game. His words didn't seem to have much affect of Tim Tebow's Gators as they easily rolled to a 51-21 victory over the Bayou Bengals.

Speaking of a purple and gold loss, poor, poor, poor ECU. The Pirates have been beaten to a purple and gold pulp.

What We Will Learn This Weekend

I know that we missed our weekly lesson on college football this Monday so we are going to make it up to you and provide a preview of this week's action. In honor of Ball State's 6-0 record and first stop into the AP top 25, we will give you our top 10 list of things that you will learn and see this weekend in college football.

10. Clemson will further muddy the ACC water's tonight by continuing the Thursday night upset theme and defeating Wake Forest on a last second field goal.

9. Who would have thought that this weekend's Arizona and Stanford game would be a match up of the ONLY remaining Pac Ten schools that still have healthy starting QB? Oregon has used four after losing their starter before the season even began. As of today it appears that ASU's Rudy Carpenter will miss his first start in 37 games.

8. Coach Tuberville picked a convenient week to fire his offensive coordinator. Arkansas has been outscored 139 to 31 in the last three games. By taking over the offensive play calling before this weekend's home game against the Razorbacks, Tommy will look like a play calling genius!

7. The scoring will be so fast and furious at the Missouri/Oklahoma State game that there will be no need to waste time lowering the nets behind the goal posts. Next week the NCAA will collect an extra sponsor check from Allstate for the additional advertising.

6. Oklahoma will trail for the first time this year.

5. This will be one more week that Big Ten referees don't have to worry about Joe Paterno running them down to give them an earful. At least the bathrooms are closer in the press box.



4. The only malfunction this weekend in UNC's Kenan Stadium will be the Jimmy Clausen and the Notre Dame offense. No more lighting fires in the PA system, light delays, falling concrete, broken elevators, or parachutists descending on the wrong stadium.

3. Tim Tebow has been praying this week for the safety of LSU defensive end Ricky Jean-Francois.

2. In a game that will ultimately cost Ty Willingham his job, Washington will struggle with their match up against BYE.

And the number one thing we will learn this weekend...

1. The College Football Guys will officially announce that they are running for President of the United States. It's true! This link says so!

Week Five for TCFGs

Time for some southern cookin' on The College Football Guys!

Listen to this week's podcast as we talk about SEC football. What is up with the Pac Ten this year? Who is this weekend's favorite to be a BCS Buster? A look ahead to Alabama/Georgia. Who's going to win this year's "Friends of Coal Bowl?"

More importantly we play our most favorite game "Real or Silicon?"

This and SO much more!

Just click here. Press play and Enjoy!

What We Learned Week Four

Here is what The College Football Guys learned in week four of college football.

Thursday night confirmed what we knew all along, long time assistants don't make good head coaches. Coach Luther Van Damn made a great assistant to Hayden Fox at Minnesota State, but imagine him with the head post of the "Screaming Eagles." Wait, you don't even have to imagine, it unveiled itself Thursday night in Boulder. Some one might want to ask Mr. Heat Miser what he was thinking when he gave good ol' boy Stewart a six year contract extension after only 2 victories...

Skip Holtz's phone stopped ringing with job offers from other schools at precisely 3:17pm EST on Saturday. The same time the final whistle blew in Raleigh. He might coach a team in purple and gold, but he doesn't have the athletes to back up gutsy calls like Les Miles does. If they'd kicked the field goal on 4th and goal from the one, instead of going for the touchdown, ECU would still be up by three, be a BCS contender and a have a busy secretary.

Wake Forest players must have bet the under as they tried SO hard to make sure their game with Florida State didn't get out of hand. We're guessing they read our blog about how entertaining 12-3 games are.

Perhaps another Heisman highlight? That kid's got hops!


Andrew Hatch, QB/LSU, learned that hits in the SEC are just a bit harder than those from Division I-AA, or even the Sun Belt for that matter. He was knocked out of Saturday night's game, at Auburn, with a concussion. He was later seen on the sideline enjoying a Snickers and convincing everyone he was batman.


Arkansas fans were right. Life with Bobby Patrino and his "high powered" offense is WAY better than life with that no good, wife cheatin' bastard Houston Nutt. It's OK. Bama fans have some sympathy since they once thought life with a real "Tide man" (Shula) was better than life with a strip club lovin' west coast wacko (Price).

Those of you not fans of the SEC, we hope you get to liken' southern cookin', cause that's awl ESPN and dem other media outlets are gonna be given' us a fine helpin' of for awhile!

No matter how long the mighty Jimmy Clausen grows his hair, he still isn't Samson. Also, is anyone else tired of people trying to legitimize Notre Dame's chances of a BCS bowl by bringing up the schedule? "Well Tim, if you look at the Irish's schedule this year, there are at least 8 games they should win..." They AREN'T going to a BCS bowl this year!

True freshman Terrelle Pryor had 10 completions this weekend, in his much anticipated college debut, however only four of them were for touchdowns. Slacker! Six completions that didn't go for a score? No wonder Ohio State fans didn't pack The Shoe and began the boo birds this weekend. "You Suck!" The future looks SO dim for those Buckeyes!

Oregon is thankful this weekend that they have their own regional TV network (OSN) so the nation didn't get the opportunity to watch Boise State earn their first road victory vs a BCS opponent live. At least their was some coverage available so we can catch the highlights.

Oh and the last thing we learned this week is that John Denver's "Rocky Mountain High" is way better than his "Take Me Home, Country Roads." Don't believe us? Just ask CU alum Chris Fowler.

Southern Snore

As witnessed in Auburn's stimulating 3-2 victory over Mississippi State, the thrilling SEC conference schedule is upon us whether we like it or not. A schedule chalked full of match ups so short on offense it makes even the most die hard fan reach for the remote to find Premier League or Australian Rules Football on the telly.

It's times like these I wish they would invent a TV alarm for the sports viewer.

Wouldn't it be great if an alarm sounded on your TV during those late, ESPN prime time, SEC games? One loud enough to awaken you from your slumber and let you know an SEC offensive juggernaut just broke into the red zone and is looking to score.

Maybe the red zone is a bit premature. We all know the AMAZING defenses of the SEC might just stall the drive into a missed/botched field goal attempt. What if the alarm sounded one play before a score? This way we wouldn't miss a thing and not feel guilty dozing off during the game.

If they can place a yellow line at the first down marker, record "live" television and institute instant replay in "America's pastime" then we definitely have the technology and the capability to make this happen!

I know! I know! I hear all of ya'll in the south, yelling at your collective computers. Trumpeting what you have been brain washed to believe. That 12-6 is truly a GREAT defensive battle! For you there may be no hope. But I would wager to guess that when you were watching the Auburn/MSU game, you wished there was a better way.

Here is hoping this weekend's LSU/Auburn game is not a waste of a good night's rest and more exciting than the last two played in Auburn's Jordan-Hare Stadium. Those results were hair raising 10 to 9 and 7 to 3 matches won by Auburn.

In a world without a TV sports alarm, hope is all we have.


More Fun with Auburn/MSU

Every Day Should Be Saturday brings us this great montage of the high...we mean low-lights of last Saturday's "contest" in Starkville, MS.



It is definitely good to see that ESPN is getting every penny of entertainment value out of their $2.25 billion, 15 year deal with the SEC. Walt Disney, must be rolling in his grave. I can hear him now, "You call this crap good, clean, family fun?! You idiots! My final words were 'Let's finish Disney World,' not 'Purchase The World-Wide Leader!'"

Week Four for TCFGs

Week Four is already upon us! Time for another great podcast!

Join The College Football Guys this week as we recap USC/OSU and all the other games this week! What did we think about last weekend in the Pac Ten? A preview of this weekend's big games in the SEC, LSU/Auburn and Florida/Tennessee.

Find out who plays this week for the "Silver Spade" and "Iron Skillet" and we aren't talking about dinner options at the local Denny's.

Click here. Press Play and Enjoy!

What We Learned Week Three

After putting our collective heads back on straight, here are some things we, The College Football Guys, learned this weekend in college football.

Even though USC dominated The Ohio State the rest of the PAC looked more like the WAC going a collective 3-7 for the weekend, including 0-2 vs. the Big 12 and 0-4 vs. the MWC!

One would have thought ASU would have been 3-0 heading into the Georgia game this week, however it appears that they watched too much coverage of the BYU/Washington game last week as they too could not keep a 35 yard field goal from being blocked.

Not only did UNLV walk away from Tempe with the biggest win in program history, they also received a tidy $400,000 for their, um, troubles? The school immediately placed their money on USC to win the BCS Title.

It is obvious that the emotional stress the Cal football team suffered due to the removal of their most devoted and avid fans from the Oak Grove this week affected their play on the field vs Maryland. Trust me it wasn't "jet lag," it was emotional trauma.

Virginia Tech finally played a home game that carried some significance, allowing us the opportunity to learn that the Hokies have found a new way to make "Chicago Maroon" and Burnt Orange look terrible together.


So far it seems that when it comes to winners for major non-conference games the schools with the best looking women are winning...

Could Texas Tech play someone, ANYONE, so we could have some idea how good their offense is? U Mass coming to town this weekend. That makes two Division I-AA schools this year! Maybe they should just join the ACC! At least Mike Leach continues to bring us quality entertainment.

16 Major League Baseball teams outscored the "newfangled" spread offense of the mighty Auburn Tigers on Saturday. Auburn got the 3-2 victory, however Ohio State's 3 points only got them embarrassed again on national TV. BTW - UCLA would have lost to all but two MLB teams on Saturday.

Speaking of UCLA, Provo wants former BYU 0ffensive coordinator Norm Chow to know that they are thankful for the memories, but they are doing just fine with out him. UCLA also needs to rethink scheduling a week three games in Utah. Mike Stoops of Arizona might want to do the same with New Mexico.

Middle Tennessee State reminded us this week that football is indeed a game of inches.

Husky fans learned Saturday that "Boomer Sooner" is every bit as annoying as the Trojan's "Victory." At this point in the season it seems that the nation will get the opportunity to decide for themselves on January 8th 2009 in Miami. Maybe FOX can get Ryan Seacrest to come to Miami and encourage fans to vote. Heck we can't wait that long, lets just decide today.

The Media Circus is Here!

It is almost that time again! Time to suit it up and start practices across the country and work to get ready for Labor Day Weekend's opening games! But first coaches and players must suffer through media day.

On our podcast and on this blog we try to point out some interesting and humorous differences between the North, South and West and no where is this more evident than in how these regions treat their college football media day(s). Let us take a look at these schedules and see if you can tell the difference.

PAC TEN Media Day - Thursday, July 24th Los Angeles, CA

9:35 am - Tyrone Willingham/QB Jake Locker - Washington
9:50 am - Jim Harbaugh/C Alex Fletcher - Stanford
10:05 am - Paul Wulff/FL Brandon Gibson - Washington State
10:20 am - Jeff Tedford/C Alex Mack - California
10:35 am - Mike Stoops/QB Willie Tuitama - Arizona
10:50 am - Mike Bellotti/DB Patrick Chung - Oregon
11:05 am - Break(Oh good! I thought we were going to go straight through! These 15 minute segments are TOO much!)
11:15 am - Rick Neuheisel/DT Brigham Harwell - UCLA
11:30 am - Mike Riley/DB Brandon Hughes - Oregon State
11:45 am - Dennis Erickson/QB Rudy Carpenter - Arizona State
12:00 noon - Pete Carroll/LB Brian Cushing - USC

12:15 pm - "Sushi for lunch anyone?" I hear there is a great place in Burbank!
1:08 pm - Surf's up Brah! See you on the field in September!

BIG TEN Media Day - Thursday, July 24th, Chicago, IL

11:30 a.m. – Ron Zook (Illinois)
11:45 a.m. – Pat Fitzgerald (Northwestern)
Noon – Bret Bielema (Wisconsin)
12:15 p.m. – Joe Tiller (Purdue)

What no break?! Oh wait it's almost time to ask Jim when Ohio State is going to beat an SEC team...

12:30 p.m. – Jim Tressel (Ohio State)
12:45 p.m. – Bill Lynch (Indiana)
1:30 p.m. – Mark Dantonio (Michigan State)
1:45 p.m. – Tim Brewster (Minnesota)
2 p.m. – Joe Paterno (Penn State)
2:15 p.m. – Kirk Ferentz (Iowa)
2:30 p.m. – Rich Rodriguez (Michigan)
3 p.m. – James E. Delany (Big Ten)

3:15pm - If we hurry we might be able to catch the end of the Cubs game!

SEC Media Days July 23rd to 25th Birmingham, AL

Wednesday
1:10 - 3:10 pm - Urban Meyer, QB Tim Tebow, OT Phil Trautwein - Florida
1:10 - 3:10 pm - Sylvester Croom, QB Wesley Carroll, LB Jamar Chaney - MSU
3:10 - 5:10 pm - Les Miles, C Brett Helms, DE Tyson Jackson - LSU
3:10 - 5:10 pm - Bobby Johnson, S Reshard Langford, WR George Smith - Vandy

5:10 pm - Break until tomorrow morning. BBQ Ribs, fried mashed potatoes, fried okra (have to eat those veggies!), cornbread for dinner. Fried Twinkies for desert. Kentucky Bourbon to wash it all down.

Thursday
7:30 am - Huddle Hut for breakfast. Fried chicken and waffles, one pound bacon, pint of syrup, and 2 liters of coffee.

8:40 - 10:40 am - Mark Richt, WR M. Massaquoi, DT Jeff Owens - Georgia
8:40 - 10:40 am - Nick Saban, OL Antoine Caldwell, S Rashad Johnson - Alabama

Short recess - Use this time to take a Purell bath.

10:40 am - 12:30 pm - Phillip Fulmer, RB Arian Foster, DE Robert Ayers - Tennessee
10:40 am - 12:30 pm - Houston Nutt, DT Peria Jerry, OT Michael Oher - Ole' Miss

12:45 pm - Houston Nutt private interview with Donna Bragg of KHOG News Channel 40/29, Fayetteville, AR.

12:45 pm - BBQ pork & coleslaw sandwich, served on buttered "Texas" Toast.

1:45 pm -4:35 pm - Sleep. What else is there to do in the metropolis of Birmingham, AL?

5:30pm - 8:30pm - BBQ ribs, cornbread....rinse and repeat.

Friday
7:30 am - Waffle House breakfast. Two "Awful Waffles," Hash browns scattered, smothered, and covered.

8:40 - 10:40 am - Tommy Tuberville, C Jason Bosley, DE Sen'derrick Marks - Auburn
8:40 - 10:40 am - Rich Brooks, DE Jeremy Jarmon, WR Dicky Lyons, Jr. - Kentucky
10:40 am - 12:30 pm - Bobby Petrino, LB Elston Forte, C Jonathan Luigs - Arkansas

12:25 pm - Bobby is scheduled to end his press conference with a "Hog Call."

10:40 am - Whenever pm - Steve Spurrier, LB Jasper Brinkley, WR Kenny McKinley - South Carolina

Who are we kidding? This is the highlight of the days. What crazy thing will Spurrier say next?

BIG 12 Media Days - July 23rd-25th Kansas City.

If you think SEC Media Days are crazy, check this out!

The SEC as Liquor

Good looking women. Hot muggy summers. Southern hospitality. Sweet tea. Coke. Rebel attitude.

The south has provided all this and more to the American public. However the most important is the south's love of Spirits.

NASCAR, an entire sports industry, was built around a southern moonshiner's ability to outrun the authorities. It is the efforts of these brave men that saved America the liquid we all enjoy. Liquor is important stuff to these folks. Therefore it makes perfect sense that we compare their teams to the hooch we love so much.

Tennessee - Wild Turkey. Just as the clothes worn to the game, both can be used on your next hunting trip. No need to repack that 4X4. Just whistle for Smokey the hound, and go.

Vanderbilt - Jack Daniels Single Barrel. Not a bourbon, not an Admiral, not Ivy League, and definitely not Woodford's Reserve, but acts like it is.

Kentucky - Maker's Mark. Good solid bourbon that is content to be second best on its own campus. Enjoys a more laid back approach to life.

South Carolina - Old Crow. Mixed with sweetener makes a poor man's mint julep. Straight up it is too hard and abrasive(like a drink from a fire hydrant). The added flavor makes it more soft and subtle like the football team. Enjoys riding the coattails of the once successful.

LSU - Everclear aka Ethanol. No matter how popular and trendy they have become in recent years, when you break it all down it still just moonshine. James Carville is their biggest fan. Makes "drinking the Kool-Aid" that much easier.

Alabama - Patron. New spin on an old classic. Drinking it will make you feel like Superman and repress bad memories of the recent past. At the bottom of it all is still a big ol' worm.

Auburn - Jose Quervo Tradicional. Another case of mistaken identity. Inferior complex to 'Bama Nation. Popular in its own region, but never going to be as hip and recognizable as Patron no matter how many times in a row they beat 'em.

Florida - Grey Goose. Not the old Russian standard. This program and liquid is young, hip, good looking, and successful. "A liquor as pure and clean as the heart of Tim Tebow!"

Georgia - Smirnoff. Traditional program that is trying hard to be as young and hip as their rival. Mark Richt and Red Bull have given them wings.

Arkansas - Moonshine. Drinking it will make you crazy enough to drive your head coach right out of town. May also induce involuntary seizures that make you perform a hideous noise affectionately known as "The Hog Call."

Ol' Miss - Absolut CITRON. When paired with cranberry juice makes a fancy and pretty Cosmo for the fancy and pretty women in "The Grove." Take a taste of it on the field and you will experience how horrible it really is. Coach Nutt has no McFadden in the Oxford stable to make it taste any better.

Mississippi State - Malt Liquor. Believe they are the real thing. Drinking too much makes everything sound better with cow bells. Bottom of the barrel until late in the night or season then it’s palatable. "We need more COW BELL!"


Need to see the whole skit? Here you go.

Schedule Changes

In the wake of Kenny Stabler's arrest for a DUI the University of Alabama has made some changes to its schedule poster in order to raise alcohol awareness on campus and with alumni. Let's see what you think.

Original:



Revised:

A Breathing Legend

This weekend Alabama legend Kenny Stabler was arrested for his THIRD DUI charge! I think that the Alabama troopers were just testing out the newest product to hit the University of Alabama Bookstore. Watch out, it might be at a bookstore near you so you can help your own legend with his drinking problem, er Warren Moon?

"Take Me Back in Time!"

Press play below and continue reading...



The 2008 college football preview magazines are starting to hit shelves at a store near you! Of coarse this college football guy had to be the first person in town to buy Lindy's College Football 2008 Preview. While thumbing through the glorious, full color, glossy pages and reading the predictions of the upcoming season it made me think, just how accurate are these magazines?

It occurred to me that there was just one way to find out. So I slipped on my red and white Nike's, threw on my jean jacket, cranked up Huey Lewis & The News, hopped into the stainless steel Dalorean, put the pedal to the metal until that speedometer reached 88 miles an hour and went back in time to May 2007. There I found a copy of Lindy's 2007 Preview and want to share these actual, 2007, predictions with you. (I couldn't make this up if I tried.)


Lindy's Rose Bowl Pick - Cal vs. Michigan

Ohio State at Michigan - If Wolverines don't win, it's gonna feel like Chad Henne, Mike Hart and Jake Long came back for 'nuthin.

We wish...that Navy, doing so well under coach Paul Johnson, could finally end a 43-game losing streak to Notre Dame that dates to the Roger Staubach era.

Why is the ACC ranked No. 2 (best conference)? What the league has is amazing depth that rivals or surpasses the SEC.

Kansas - Sophomore QB Todd Reesing will continue to compete for the starting spot, but likely will be a backup.

Oregon at Michigan - Trying to slow down RB Jonathan Stewart will prepare UM for Big Ten.

Oklahoma at Colorado - Couldn't CU officials have picked an easier homecoming foe?

Michigan brought in a solid class that included star playmaker Ryan Mallett at quarterback.

Ohio State at Washington - Huskies' schedule still reads like the school is a powerhouse.

And the favorite to win the 2007 Big 12 Conference championship is....Nebraska? That far-fetched prediction is brought to you by the Committee to Save the Big 12 North.

Notre Dame at UCLA - Bruins might want to shelve the prevent defense this time around.

Louisville - The defense should be fine, but if the Cardinals have to win in a shootout, so be it. Just like last season, Louisville should be in the hunt for the national title.

Stanford at USC - Only big in seeing how much Carroll runs it up on Harbaugh.

South Florida at Auburn - QB Matt Grothe and Bulls will be thinking upset.

Appalachian State - Dare we say "dynasty?" ASU reloads to take a shot at FCS' first three-peat.


BTW - If some dimwitted slime ball starts winning a lot in Vegas and turns Hill Valley into a gang infested slum it means Biff stole my 2008 preview while I was back in 2007.

What a difference a year makes!

Death Valley Discontent

As many of you know by now the defending BCS Champion LSU Tigers dismissed starting QB Ryan Perrilloux (Pear-a-lew, not Perr-ill-lux for those of you residing outside of France, Southern Louisiana, and the Great Province of Quebec) from the team last week in what has been reported as a failed drug test. This was the last straw for Coach Les Miles and now the program is left with Andrew Hatch, a Nevada Mormon who also happens to be a Harvard transfer, to do the gun slinging.

This leaves Tiger fans with only one thing left to do. Find out where "Jughead" found his cheba, invite your friends from Boulder over, put on some Skynyrd, and spark up a fat one. If you don't have any particular Skynyrd song in mind, this one might work...

Tide rolls' on, on off the tube,
Gainsville cheers far, far, far away.
Now I feel the Dawgs, snarl outside my door,
Means I'm leaving my championship behind.
Saturday's gone with the wind.
Our QB's gone with a toak.

And I don't know where we're going.
We have been left with a Mormon.
Well, when this season ends we'll try again,
But I'm leaving my quarterback at Southern.

(chorus)

Saturday's gone with the wind.
Saturday's gone with the wind.
Saturday's gone with the wind.
Our QB's gone with a toak.

Tide rolls on, many miles with 'Satan',
See, I'm watching War Eagle fly away.
Ryan, you see, had to be free
But somehow "Geaux Tiger" will carry on.

(chorus, repeat incessantly until fully baked)