Week Seven Podcast is Here!

In this week's podcast we address why so many big games were so sloppy this week.

Which upset was the most surprising?

Is Charlie Weis coaching is last season at ND?

Which coach has the hottest seat in college football, Mike Sherman, Ron Zook, Ralph Friedgen or Steve Kragthrope?

Also a preview of TCU/BYU and this week's biggest games.

That and soo much more! Click here. Press play and ENJOY!

Week Thirteen Podcast for TCFGs

Join The College Football Guys for this week's podcast as we ride out the calm before the storm.

Find out what TCFGs thought of this weekend's action. Who will win Texas Tech/Oklahoma? What will happen in Happy Valley? Does Boise State, Utah, and Ball State really have a shot to stay undefeated for another week? What is the most meaningless rivalry game scheduled for this "Rivalry Weekend?"

All this and soo much more in less than 30 minutes!

Just click here. Press Play and Enjoy!

What We Learned Week Five

"I don't believe what I just saw!"

This weekend still got you rubbing your eyes? Maybe pinching yourself to see if this is all just a dream? Have you been left a confused mess on the couch crying out, "Why! Why!" Well to be frank we are still scratching our collective brains as well. However we did learn a couple of things this weekend.

Note to SEC fans. Writing off the Florida loss to an Ol' Miss team that hadn't won an SEC game on the road in the last 14 tries to "depth of conference" sounds as ridiculous as the following:

• Oregon State's victory over USC definitely shows how strong the Pac Ten is.
• Even though Maryland lost to Middle Tennessee State their victory over ACC power house Clemson demonstrates the depth and power of the ACC from top to bottom.
• Michigan's 19 point comeback to upset #9 Wisconsin shows how much resolve and power the Big Ten conference has.
• Houston's victory over BCS Cinderella ECU shows that top to bottom, it doesn't matter who you play in Conference USA, you better be careful!

Upsets in conference play happen SEC fans! Get over yourselves.

Maybe Forbes Magazine knew what they were talking about when they named Nick Saban "The Most Powerful Coach in Sports."

The practice of wearing black should be reserved ONLY for funerals. Here is the now famous You Tube footage. Advance to 1:05 so you don't waste your entire morning.



While it seems UGA was confused on the purpose of wearing black, Oregon State had an "orange out," Penn State had a "white out" and Miami called Stanford to find out some more information about their "Satisfaction Guarantee." With an attendance on only 35,830 in Dolphin Stadium it appeared they were doing a "walk out." Maybe Hurricane fans were just protesting Butch Davis' return.

Penn State offense looks much better in HD. It is amazing what the Lion's can do when Anthony Morelli isn't on the field to throw interceptions every other possession.

Iowa is still paying Kirk Ferentz too much to lose at home to Northwestern.

Congratulations Duke! You finally made someone else the red-headed step-child of the ACC!

Even though visiting Pac Ten teams have to take a flight several hours long to Spokane, jump on a bus down a dirt road to Pullman, WA to stay the night at a Best Western in Moscow, ID, it doesn't seem to stop them from hanging 60+ on WAZZU, even on homecoming weekend.

While the spirit of David was alive and well in most college stadiums throughout the land, it seems the Palouse of Eastern Washington just might be a bit too remote for the littl' fella.

What We Learned Week Three

After putting our collective heads back on straight, here are some things we, The College Football Guys, learned this weekend in college football.

Even though USC dominated The Ohio State the rest of the PAC looked more like the WAC going a collective 3-7 for the weekend, including 0-2 vs. the Big 12 and 0-4 vs. the MWC!

One would have thought ASU would have been 3-0 heading into the Georgia game this week, however it appears that they watched too much coverage of the BYU/Washington game last week as they too could not keep a 35 yard field goal from being blocked.

Not only did UNLV walk away from Tempe with the biggest win in program history, they also received a tidy $400,000 for their, um, troubles? The school immediately placed their money on USC to win the BCS Title.

It is obvious that the emotional stress the Cal football team suffered due to the removal of their most devoted and avid fans from the Oak Grove this week affected their play on the field vs Maryland. Trust me it wasn't "jet lag," it was emotional trauma.

Virginia Tech finally played a home game that carried some significance, allowing us the opportunity to learn that the Hokies have found a new way to make "Chicago Maroon" and Burnt Orange look terrible together.


So far it seems that when it comes to winners for major non-conference games the schools with the best looking women are winning...

Could Texas Tech play someone, ANYONE, so we could have some idea how good their offense is? U Mass coming to town this weekend. That makes two Division I-AA schools this year! Maybe they should just join the ACC! At least Mike Leach continues to bring us quality entertainment.

16 Major League Baseball teams outscored the "newfangled" spread offense of the mighty Auburn Tigers on Saturday. Auburn got the 3-2 victory, however Ohio State's 3 points only got them embarrassed again on national TV. BTW - UCLA would have lost to all but two MLB teams on Saturday.

Speaking of UCLA, Provo wants former BYU 0ffensive coordinator Norm Chow to know that they are thankful for the memories, but they are doing just fine with out him. UCLA also needs to rethink scheduling a week three games in Utah. Mike Stoops of Arizona might want to do the same with New Mexico.

Middle Tennessee State reminded us this week that football is indeed a game of inches.

Husky fans learned Saturday that "Boomer Sooner" is every bit as annoying as the Trojan's "Victory." At this point in the season it seems that the nation will get the opportunity to decide for themselves on January 8th 2009 in Miami. Maybe FOX can get Ryan Seacrest to come to Miami and encourage fans to vote. Heck we can't wait that long, lets just decide today.

What We Learned Week Two

What The College Football Guys learned after weekend number two in college football.

..."Point of Emphasis" is a really neat and sophisticated term, until you hear it for the 326th time. After that we want to say, "Don't have a cow, Man!"

...Is Vanderbilt's victory over South Carolina really considered an upset when we already know the Gamecock's coach and team is overrated?

...Why is it such a big deal that "The Chosen One" went on missionary trips in the off season? Over 75% of BYU players have been on two year missions. Impress us Tim and get married! 35 Cougs are hitched.

...Mike Leach must be really jealous of Skip Holt's Purple and Gold Pirates.



...The Buckeyes still are number one in the country at playing down to the level of their opponents.

...Bon Jovi plays quarterback for the Fightin' Irish. Jimmy Clausen, bringing back the 80's one bad haircut at a time.

...San Diego State Coach Chuck Long is not sure if Notre Dame is better than Division I-AA Cal-Poly.



...U Conn's 12-9 OT victory over Bill Cosby's Temple Owls gave the Big East their FIRST victory over a Division I-A program. The "Big Easy" will have to wait and see if Thursday brings their first victory vs. a BCS conference opponent.

...Instead of having his mind on the game against the mighty Blue Raiders of Middle Tennessee, Ralph Friedgen was thinking about the case of Blue Label Coors he had waiting for him in his "fridge." With Cal coming to town this next weekend, it's CODE BLUE time Turtle fans!



...Congress and the President need to order a "troop surge" for the US Military Academy. Please just send only the ones that have ANY knowledge of the game of football.

...Miami kickers wear the purrtiest green little slippers. So SHINY! They look soo good with black dress socks!


...We like Florida State's version of those terrible Go Gator Nation commercials. (Not for children's eyes)



...When the NCAA discovers how much fun we have on this blog and podcast, they will issue us an "Excessive Celebration" penalty.

"ACC's Little Sisters of the Poor." (8/28/08)

This weekend marks the start of college football, FINALLY! It also marks the first weekend of our weekly blog entry, Meet the "ACC's Little Sister's of the Poor."

While we know that most schools schedule programs from the FCS, Division I-AA, ranks the Almost College football Conference takes the cupcake to a new level this year with a collective 14 on the schedule. (This count doesn't include the mighty Hill Toppers of Western Kentucky that still are in a transition between divisions). The next most is the SEC and Big 12 with 10, from there it is the Big Ten with 9, Big East with 7 and the Pac Ten with 2.

It might not be soo bad if it wasn't for the fact that the "leaders" in the conference, Clemson, Florida State, Virginia Tech and Georgia Tech are playing 2 a piece (if we count WKU). Compounding the issue is the fact that the conference coaches and AD's said no to playing a 9th conference game.

So in order to help drive some sort of TV ratings and interest the ACC's way allow us to introduce to you this week's "ACC's Little Sister's of the Poor."

Delaware

Location: Newark, DE
Founded: 1743
Mascot: Fightin' Blue Hens
Conference: Colonial Athletic Association
Size: 16,000 undergrads
Most well known alumni: Rich Gannon - NFL Quarterback, George "Bad to the Bone" Thorogood
Why you might know them: Not only do they share nearly the same colors as Michigan, they also have the same helmet look as the Wolverines. Something else they have in common with the boys in Ann Arbor, they couldn't beat App. State last year either.

McNeese St

Location: Lake Charles, LA
Founded: 1939
Mascot: Cowboys
Conference: Southland
Size: About 7000 undergrads
Most well known alumni: Besides TCFG's co-host Ethan Bush, Joe Dumars - guard for the Detroit Pistons.
Interesting facts: The Cowboys played in the inaugural Independence Bowl in 1976. In the early part of this decade the University of Wyoming sued McNeese for having similar looking logos. You can see that the school from Lake Chuck lost that match up.

Charleston Southern

Location: Charleston, SC
Founded: 1969
Mascot: Bucky the Buccaneer
Conference: Big South
Size: 3,300
Most well known alumnus: Terry Mooney - You don't know who he is? Well he is one heck of a golfer because he won a "spiffy pre-owned Saturn sports coupe" at the 15th Annual Buccaneer Club Corporate Cup Golf Tournament.
Interesting fact: CSU's enrollment is just about 1000 undergrads smaller than ACC member Wake Forest. At 4,300 the Demon Deacons have Division I-A's (FBS) smallest student body.

Jacksonville State

Location: Jacksonville, AL
Founded: 1883
Mascot: Gamecocks
Conference: Ohio Valley
Enrollment: 9,000
Most well known alumni: Randy Owen - lead singer for the country group Alabama. Rick Burgess and Bill "Bubba" Bussey - Co-hosts of the "Rick and Bubba: Morning Show"
Why you might know them: On August 30, 2001, Ashley Martin became the first female football player to score a point in a Division I kicking 3 extra points in a 72-10 drubbing of Cumberland University. School set in the Appalachians of Alabama also happens to be the new school of former LSU QB, Ryan Perrilloux.

James Madison

Location: Harrisonburg, VA
Founded: 1908
Mascot: The Dukes, Duke Dog
Conference: Colonial Athletic Association
Size: 16,000 undergrads
Most well known alumni: Charles Haley - LB/DE won 5 Super Bowls for Dallas Cowboys and San Francisco 49ers. Scott "wide-right" Norwood - K, Buffalo Bills. Elliott Sadler, NASCAR driver.
Why you might know them: Became a co-ed school in 1966 only 19 years after ACC member Florida State. In the fall of 2006 the JMU Board of Visitors received much attention and criticism for cutting 10 sports to comply with Title IX. Even a letter from the US Olympic Committee. Objectors felt it was unfair that football wasn't touched. Maybe they shouldn't have invited the boys to school in the first place?

My Very Educated Mother...

Ever find yourself trying to figure out whether a team is in the Mountain West or the WAC? Have a hard time remembering what programs comprise the ACC Coastal or Atlantic Divisions? We here at The College Football Guys have found a solution to your problems.

When we were children our teachers taught us a handy system to remember our planets. Remember it? Sing together with me, "My Very Educated Mother Just Served Us Nine Pizza-Pies!" The system we learned is known as a first letter mnemonic device. A memory aid that relies on associations between easy-to-remember constructs which can be related back to the data that is to be remembered. In this case using a phrase whose first letters are associated with a list.

Since the Mountain West broke away from the WAC to form their own conference in 1999 it has been difficult for even the most diehard college football fan to distinguish the difference between the two. San Diego State is not even close to the "Mountain States" and TCU isn't near a mountain or even in the west. Go figure! Hopefully this mnemonic devices will help jog your memory.

Mountain - Mountain West
Aged - Air Force
Buffalo - BYU
Can - Colorado State
Not - New Mexico
Swim - SDSU
To - TCU
Las Vegas - UNLV
Under - Utah
Water - Wyoming

Since WAC member Boise State installed their artifical blue turf there has been constant rumors about birds making their final flight into the Smurf Turf mistaking it for a lake. With this in mind the following poem should help you remember those crazy WAC programs. (The conference of the "State" schools)

WACky - WAC
Birds - Boise State
Fly - Fresno State
Hard - Hawaii
Into - Idaho
Replica - Nevada-Reno
Lake - La Tech
Near - New Mexico State
State - San Jose State
University - Utah State

When looking at a map the divisions of the ACC makes little sense. There is no clean cut north/south, or even east/west border, rather the break up was done with vague locations, "Atlantic" and "Coastal." However these catchy phrases should help you remember the difference.

Atlantic - Atlantic
Men - Maryland
Never - NC State
Boast - Boston College
When - Wake Forest
Farts - Florida State
Converge - Clemson

Could - Coastal
Virtual - Virginia (Tech)
TECHnology - Tech
Give - Georgia (Tech)
My - Miami
Dad - Duke
Vicious - Virginia
Nausea? - North Carolina

Think of anything better? We have placed our mnemonics that didn't make the cut in the comments section. Let us know what you got, or how you remember which teams are in which conference.

Baked Coaches?

Pineapple Express hit the big screen yesterday and the wheels started turning in the minds of The College Football Guys thinking about what coaches out there might be coaching "under the influence." The coaches below show a few of the tell tale effects Maryjane has on a body.


June Jones, SMU. Talks at a single octave and at about 2 words/minute. Drug Effects - Clouded judgement, swore up and down that Colt was not a system QB and that Hawaii had a chance against Georgia. Road the "Pineapple Express" all the way to Dallas.











Ty Willingham Washington His monotone voice and serious demeanour might be mistaken for being stoned out of your mind. Drug Effects - He is EXTREMELY paranoid about reporters as he requires closed practices with high security. When listening to his press conferences you are not sure whether to laugh of be scared.


Jim Tressel, Ohio State. His Value Village style sweeter vests remind us of Donald Sutherland's character, Prof. Dave Jennings in Animal House. Drug Effects - Looks especially dazed when facing an SEC team (WILL THAT JOKE EVER END?)








Dave Wannstedt, Pitt. Drug Effects - His constant bed head and sloppy dress make it look like he is recovering from a three day binge.











Jeff Tedford, California. Obvious choice since daily he gets a contact high from the hippies outside his office. Drug Effect - players seem to lack the motivation to get to the next level.




Dan Hawkins, Colorado. Another case of suspected contact high in Boulder. Drug Effects - Can't wait to RV through the state and "meet" with fans. "Say, brotha, you got a joint? It'd be a lot cooler if you did!"







Jim Leavitt, USF. Closest college football has to its own Spicoli. Drug Effects - Hallucination causing the coach to think he is actually playing in the game, preparing by running wind sprints in pregame.

"All I need are some tasty waves, a cool buzz, and I'm fine."










Ralph Friedgen, Maryland and Mark Mangino, Kansas. What stoner/coach bit would be complete without including any mention of the munchies. Drug Effect - It is obvious these coaches have had the munchies once or twice in there lives.

Superheroes and the ACC

With the release of The Dark Knight today we wanted to take a moment to use superheroes to introduce you to the ACC. Currently the ACC stands for Almost College football Conference, however with the power and recognition of these heroes we hope that this conference becomes relevant once more.

Florida State - Superman. Once the gold standard in college football and in the hearts of all children. The use of kryptonite by their arch rival makes them blow it in the last minute. Every super hero dies eventually. Seminole fans hope that new coach will revive program as new technology revived hero.

Miami - Lex Luther. Both wear classic trademark characteristics on their heads, baldness and "the U." Successful and hated by many. Serves as Superman's arch enemy. It is rumored that his kryptonite made Superman's kicker go "wide right," even "wide left."

NC State - Planet Krypton. Much like the terrestrial sphere once Superman, or Philip Rivers, left they exploded and now cease to exist! Not even the squeaky voice of "offensive genius" Chuck Amato could elevate this program to real superhero status.

UNC - Hancock. A team so terrible and disrespected that they had to go out and find someone to right the ship. We will see if Butch Davis will be this program's Ray Embrey.

Boston College - Spiderman. Without a uniform this program, school and hero is overlooked in its own town. This smart, nerdy, small kid has proven himself with some Herculean, dare we say, "Heavenly" achievements. Hail Flutie anyone?



Duke - Invisible Woman. Have an affinity for the color blue. Just as the super hero, Duke football is invisible on a campus that has other "fantastic four" members - men's basketball, lacrosse, and women's basketball. It would take a brilliant Duke grad to truly figure out the depth of their powers. Unfortunately Cutcliffe went to 'Bama.

Wake Forest - Daredevil. Disabled by a lack of tradition, small student population and living in basketball country, yet they still found a way to win the ACC championship and a BCS bid. Just proves the old saying true, "even a blind squirrel, or superhero, finds a nut every once in a while."

Maryland - Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. We recognize that this is not a traditional superhero, however is Maryland really a traditional football school? New coach/movie have tried desperately to revive program. Just take a moment out of your day and think about what Ralph "The Fridge" Friedgen would look like in a turtle costume.


Virginia Tech - X-Men. Like the X-Men, "Hokie Nation" have their own professor in Frank Beamer. It is rumored he has an extra brain. A brain so powerful and telepathic that it can predict the offenses' next move. Success lies in capitalizing on the strength of their defense.

Clemson - Two Face. The fan favorite to win at the beginning of the year, but in the end they come up bad. When faced with a difficult opponent it seems they flip a coin to determine how well they are going to play.

Virginia - Ironman. Educated, rich, well dressed. What else would you expect from Jefferson's school? Spend copious dollars on equipment, coaches and facilities, but just can't get it put all together to become THE superstar.

Georgia Tech - Underdog. Not as popular as the real "Dawgs" in GA, but at least they have TV "redneck" Earl as their voice over. Paul Johnson's option offense is taking the team back to a time when they were both once relevant.




BONUS!
Army - Captain America. Rooting for them makes you feel patriotic. Extremely relevant in the 40's and 50's, now nonexistent. Out of date attacks (throwing a shield/option offense) don't work against this eras opponents. Captain America, "Where is your movie?"