A Saturday with No Football

We knew August 28th, the day the season started, that this day would come.

Alas it is on the horizon. A Saturday with no football!

No more tailgates. No ESPN College Gameday. No beautiful co-eds. No band playing our favorite song! It is all gone.

What to do? It has been over three months since we have been without. We are all at a bit of a loss here. How is a man to fill his Saturday without college football?

Let us help you out and offer a few suggestions.

First and most important, if you value your companionship with your significant other, do something with your wife, girlfriend, fiance! Who is that you ask? That is the cute little thing (way to cute for you we might add) that has been patiently waiting to get you back on Saturdays.

She has listened to you yell at the TV. Put up with your drunkenness at all the tailgates. Limited her comments when she caught you drooling over a young co-ed and even fixed you dinner a time or two.

TAKE HER OUT!

Now if you don't have a "significant other" and you:

a. Don't have finals to study for.
b. Live in an area of the country where it is too cold to do anything outside.
c. Believe the only joy that comes from the holiday season is shopping on Christmas Eve.
d. Have already defended your favorite program's NCAA '09 National Title 10 times.
e. Live in a spotlessly clean home.

and

f. Are hopelessly addicted to your 47" flat screen HDTV.

Here is some TV programing that might cure your withdrawal symptoms. Please check your local listings for times in your area.

Are you an ACC fan? Now is your chance to scout next year's schedule. This weekend is the semi finals for the FCS championship. Richmond plays at Northern Iowa, 4pm EST on ESPN. Just in case you are lost Friday night, Montana plays at JMU, 8pm EST on the "Deuce."

Big 12 fans - Storm Chasers; Sean and Reed bring their teams closer to tornadoes than ever before, 2pm CST on Discovery and we must never forget King of the Hill, 3pm CST on FX.

For SEC fans, CMT has you covered with the 12 Days of Redneck Christmas, 5pm EST.

CMT is also helping West Virginia fans with Larry the Cable Guy's Star-Studded Christmas Extravaganza at 9:30pm EST. It is rumored that Mountaineer head coach Bill Stewart is co-hosting.

Bill Dance Outdoors on Versus at 1pm EST gives us a nice review of the 2008 Tennessee football season. In case you don't get a chance to catch it, we have posted it below.



Kind of reminds you of Ol' Fulmer, don't it?

Layla Kiffin says goodbye on Bravo's 7pm PST airing of Real Housewives of Orange County.

Auburn boosters call in to CNBC's 8pm EST showing of the Suze Orman Show to ask if paying $5.1 million to buy out one of the most successful coaches in the SEC is a sound financial decision. Suze's reaction is priceless.



Cal fans will find An Inconvenient Truth airing on Discovery at 1pm PST.

For those Notre Dame, Washington, WAZZU, Syracuse, Iowa State, Michigan, SMU, and North Texas fans, Trainwrecks is on Spike at noon EST. If you need something in prime time Mission Impossible III is on TNT at 11pm EST.

For Oregon, Cal, Missouri, Army, Central Michigan and every other programs that donned ugly uni's this year, What Not To Wear is on TLC at 4, 5, and 6pm EST.

Bottom line: Whatever you do, don't forget the Heisman Trophy Presentation is at 8pm EST on (where do you think?) ESPN.

Don't worry. This weekend is just a practice for January as Bowl Season begins bright and early at 11am EST, Saturday, December 20th!

New Intramural Sport?

Bored today at work?

I mean really bored?

According to this video so are 4000 people every summer in Lind, WA. Everything you wanted to know and more about the great sport of Combine Demolition Derby is below!

How much longer until K-State and Iowa State, or any Big 12 school for that matter, put together a team? I can see Bobby Knight as a guest announcer. Maybe throwing some chairs in the parking lot before the event to warm the crowd up.

Our Favorite Women and The Big 12

From the land that prides itself with friendly, hard working people, come the most attractive women you have ever seen. Therefore it makes all the sense in the world to compare Big 12 programs with the women we have grown to love over the years. Enjoy!

Baylor - Tina Fey. Conservative dress and nature. Can sneak up on you when you least expect it.

Colorado - Kathy Ireland. Had a couple huge years and was every one's Cinderella now is better known for selling furniture and intramural programs.

Iowa State - Jessica Simpson. Popular when matched with the right guy. Thinks a Cardinal is the same as a Cyclone. Another free trivia question: "What does I.O.W.A. stand for?"

Nebraska - Cindy Crawford. At one time the "super" standard by which others followed, however with time became old and outdated as others "passed" on by. Distinctive features that cannot be removed - a mole and Tom Osbourne. Maybe their school became a Coke campus...



Missouri - Victoria Beckham. Produced some nice hits in the past with a couple great teams. Overhauled to look younger. Now that they are married to a hot guy, they have become every one's sexy pick. "So Major!"

Kansas - Paris Hilton. Nobody is quite sure how they got where they are. Convinced they will crash very soon. One you enjoyed the tape, the other you hope you NEVER see...Mangino do NOT spend a night in Paris.

Kansas State - Demi Moore. Behind the scenes and solid for many years. Couple nice blockbusters. Ex husband is still in the mix. Trying to revive career with younger man.

Oklahoma - Pamela Anderson. Big, brash and performance enhanced under Switzer. Spent time with lesser suitors. Got back up with a surprising year, but still can't break back through with a big time win. Embarrassing "incidents" cost them money and respect.

Oklahoma State - Anna Nichole Smith. Married to famous oil billionaire. Famous outbursts, one in reality and one on reality TV. One hopes their future plays out a little differently.

Texas - Jenny McCarthy. America's favorite girl. Well dressed. Larger than life. Many consider them annoying. Made it big when "matched" with the right show/QB. Steady performer. Enjoys yearly shootout with similar looking rival.



Texas Tech - Carmen Electra. Aspires to be Jenny McCarthy and Pamela Anderson. An electric offense capable of exploding at any moment. Has a crazy love of funny looking men - Prince, Dennis Rodman, pirates, and Yosemite Sam.

Texas A&M - Jennifer Aniston. Once one of our Friends now appears desperate for any one's love - John Mayer anyone...

BONUS: Texas A&M - Anna Kournikova. Favorite of all the guys. Focus placed on the pageantry and show over the actual play on the field. At least the Aggies have ONE title.

Idiots Out Wandering Around.

Check back next week for SEC and Big Ten comparisons.