Worst SEC Uniform of the Week!

Note to SEC schools: Leave the crazy uniform choices to Oregon, the ACC (all purple Clemson excluded) and the Big East. Keep relying on tradition, gameday experience and crazy fans to sell tickets and generate excitement.

It was apparent from this weekend's games that you know nothing about fashion. Though anyone who lives north of the Mason Dixon and knows what a seersucker suit is could have told you that already.

Week Nine Predictions for the College Football Guys

We had some technical difficulties and winded talk show hosts this week, so we decided to bring you a BONUS edition of the College Football Guys!

This short outtake from our regular "sixer" reveals our picks for the USC/Oregon, UGA/Florida, Texas/Okie State, and others.

There was too much great information for just one podcast! Click here. Listen and get ready for another fun week of college football.

Preseason Podcast for the College Football Guys!

Finally!

The college football season is finally upon us! Join the College Football Guys as they discuss who will be playing in the BCS National Championship Game, Heisman trophy winners, and sleeper teams. Also will Florida finish the season number one? Are Lou Holtz and Beno Cook crazy for picking ND to go undefeated?

Also a preview of Bama/Va Tech, Georgia/Okie State, Oregon/Boise State, Miami/Florida State, and BYU/Oklahoma. Included is a little friendly wager between LSU boy Ethan and Washington kid Cas for this weekend's LSU/U Dub game.

Plus "What Would Tim Tebow Do if he were here right now?"




Packed episode and worth every minute!

Click here. Press play and ENJOY!

What We Learned Week Fourteen

While the College Football Guys may not have figured out if the BCS got the Big 12 South tie breaker right (find out what we think in this week's podcast tonight!). We still learned an awful lot this weekend in college football. Below is just a sample.

It is no wonder the Big 12 conference is getting so much love this year. Watching the end of a Big 12 game is like watching the end of a March Madness game. Both Kansas/Missouri and Nebraska/Colorado games were decided in the final minute. Kansas with a play from Todd Reesing that would make Flutie proud and Nebraska with a 57 yard field goal! One can only hope the Dr. Pepper Big 12 Championship Game brings as much excitement.



How fast has the luster faded from the MIGHTY SEC? With a victory over rival FSU, Florida avoided an Almost College football Conference weekend sweep of the SEC. South Carolina, Georgia and the former darlings of Vanderbilt each lost their regular season finales. Their defeats brought the SEC's record to 6-10 vs. BCS programs this year and 4-6 vs. the ACC. Before Florida's victory on Saturday night the last BCS program the SEC defeated was at Arizona State on September 20th! Since that game the SEC has lost to Texas, Wake (twice), West Virginia, Duke, Georgia Tech, Clemson as well as non-BCS "powerhouse" Wyoming.

Notre Dame found out Saturday night who the true five star athletes are. USC's dominance of the Irish was not defined enough in the 38-3 score. The true stat is the 91 yards of total offense the Trojans held ND to. The Irish could muster only 9 yards in the first half and achieved their first, first down on the last play of the third quarter. NO ONE can argue that recruiting web sites and magazines have been inflating Notre Dame classes for years in an attempt to sell subscriptions and memberships. There isn't a single player on ND's roster that would start for USC.

The "Mad Hatter," Les Miles at LSU, was out "Hatted" this weekend by Arkansas. Razorback QB Casey Dicks threw a 24 yard TD pass with 22 seconds remaining to win the game for the Hogs. It is safe to say that the luck, er "great calls," of 2007 just weren't there for the Tigers in 2008.

Who says that Houston Nutt is the only "Right Reverend" in the SEC? Georgia coach Mark Richt sure looked like he was doing plenty of preaching on Saturday when he made his teamtake a knee and gather 'round after the third quarter. We all know the only reason teams go into the locker room at halftime is so the band can use the field.

Rick Neuheisel will start winning at UCLA when he finds a QB that throws more touchdowns to players in powder blue and gold than the opposition. Arizona State returned three Kevin Craft interceptions for touchdowns on Friday night (Craft's 17th, 18th, and 19th INT for the year to 7 TD's). Add the 71 yard fumble return for a touchdown you have an NCAA record for four defensive scores in one game. Remove the mistakes? UCLA wins 9-6.

Several uniform issues that came up this weekend. Since when did it become popular for kickers to color coordinate their shoes with their uniforms? Just goes to show that flipping through Eastbay catalogs takes up a majority of a kicker's practice/film study time. We wonder if these kickers ever get jealous of their girlfriends' shoe collection.




Seems that University of Missouri/Columbia researcher, David Brunsma findings were true in "that student uniforms have no direct effect on substance use, behavioral problems, or attendance." While he was talking about uniforms in the classroom of K-12 students he could have easily done his research on the results of college football programs wearing alternative uniforms. Especially ones that are piss yellow.

We've Got Spirit, How 'Bout You!

This weekend is "The World's Largest Cocktail Party," which means it is time for "The World's Largest Dance Party - Part Deux." I bet CBS would have never guessed they were getting a piece of the Dancing with the Stars action.


We've got spirit, yes we do
We've got spirit, how bout you?
1-2-3-4 we've got more than you can score
5-6-7-8 we've got more than you can take
9-10-11-12 we've got more than you can spell

Hey Hi Howdie, Dawgs get rowdy
Hey Hi Ho, Dawgs lets go!!



The Gators are dynamite, Don't mess with dynamite
Cause if you mess with dynamite it goes
Tick, tick, tick, tick,

Boom Dynamite

Boom Boom Dynamite

In all seriousness, in the beauty contest that is the BCS Rankings, it might just come down to who has the best dancing skills. These Gators and Dawgs have a lot of work to do this weekend in order to impress the latest Harris Interactive Poll voters, Len Goodman, Carrie Ann Inaba, and Bruno Tonioli. (They will let ANYONE vote in that silly poll.)

Penn State and Texas already have very impressive resumes.

Week Ten Podcast for TCFGs

Has it really been over 400 days since Mike Gundy gave us a quality tirade?

Join The College Football Guys for our latest podcast! This week we discuss the outcome of two great games, Texas/Oklahoma State and Penn State/Ohio State. Who do we think will beat Alabama or Penn State this year? Can anyone make sense of the Big East or ACC? How bad did the SEC stub its toe this weekend?

Plus we preview of this weekend's biggest games. "The World's Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party" - Florida/Georgia and has Lubbock, TX EVER seen a bigger game than when Colt McCoy's Longhorns come to town on Saturday?

Check it out and see for yourself why The College Football Guys are becoming the most popular podcast on the web!

Click here. Press Play!

What We Learned Week Nine

We learned a great deal about college football this weekend so without further ado here are our findings.

This week Tim Tebow gave his full endorsement of Colt McCoy for the Heisman trophy. Which raises the obvious question, "If Superman wears Tim Tebow Pajama's to bed, does Tim Tebow wears Colt McCoy PJ's to bed?" Next task: finding Colt a cape.


Seems No. 1 Texas vs. No. 6 Oklahoma State was only good enough for regional coverage. Nice work ABC/ESPN. The whole west coast enjoyed the thrilling UCLA/Cal game. Can't get enough of that Rick Neuheisel...

For those who were lucky enough to get the top ten match up, you missed the first quarter trying to adjust your TV screen. Even with the new HD TV's it is still hard to translate THAT much orange!


While Georgia piled 52 on LSU, the Bayou Bengals realized how much they REALLY missed their 12th man this weekend.

Vanderbilt's Cinderella season officially came to an end with a 10-7 loss to Duke. The loss combined with Auburn's embarrassing effort at WVU, on Thursday night, gives the SEC a 5-6 record against non-conference BCS schools with 4 match ups remaining. In case you were wondering, the Mountain West is 8-5 vs. non-conference BCS programs.

Went to watch the Ohio State/Penn State game this weekend and a SEC game broke out.

ESPN's College Gameday once again brought us crazy Buckeye fans. Apparently Ohio State's new mantra is "If you can't beat 'em, Boo 'em," as a chorus of boos filled the air every time LSU, Florida, or USC were mentioned on the program. We here at The College Football Guys did a little research and discovered three embarrassing losses by the Buckeyes to these particular programs in the last three years. We were given this advise once and thought we would pass it on to Buckeye fans, "It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt." Just food for thought.

Scholarships for college kickers are overrated. Matt Williams was a normal college kid when he started school this year, but that was before the Red Raiders played the mighty Minutemen of U Mass. During halftime of that game Matt hit a 30 yard field goal for a year of free rent. Mike Leach was in need of a kicker and thought to himself, "I wonder if this kid likes pirates?" Four weeks later Matt connected on 9 of 9 extra point attempts against Kansas. We will soon see if the kid can do it in a clutch.

June Jones brought the "Run and Shoot" to SMU. Unfortunately for the Mustangs all Navy needed was the run. Navy ran the ball 77 times for 404 yards without even attempting a pass for a 34-7 victory! The Midshipman's quarterback carried the ball 41 times for 224 yards and four touchdowns. We are still trying to calculate his QB rating. Georgia Tech coach Paul Johnson is soo jealous.

If you think the BCS is confusing try figuring out the ACC. Maybe instead of a championship game that they can't sell out, the ACC should implement an 8 team playoff. Maybe it will be the model for a real playoff.

Just when we thought Oregon had exhausted their ability to look ugly they found this combination from their 384 possible uniform choices. And you thought your girlfriend had a lot of clothes.

Week Nine Podcast for TCFGs

In this week's podcast The College Football Guys talk about Texas' big win over Missouri. We address our Heisman hopefuls. Is Washington State the worst team in college football history? How good is Alabama and Penn State? Who is really number one in the ACC?

A heated debate breaks out as we give our thoughts on the year's first BCS standings and how it compares to our own top 25.

We look ahead to next weeks games, including Okie State/Texas, Penn State/Ohio State, LSU/Georgia, Kansas/Texas Tech, USC/Arizona, Va Tech/Florida State and many more!

Plus the answer to the all important question, "What is 'The Battle for the Mitten?'"

Click here. Press play and enjoy!

Week Five for TCFGs

Time for some southern cookin' on The College Football Guys!

Listen to this week's podcast as we talk about SEC football. What is up with the Pac Ten this year? Who is this weekend's favorite to be a BCS Buster? A look ahead to Alabama/Georgia. Who's going to win this year's "Friends of Coal Bowl?"

More importantly we play our most favorite game "Real or Silicon?"

This and SO much more!

Just click here. Press play and Enjoy!

What We Learned Week Four

Here is what The College Football Guys learned in week four of college football.

Thursday night confirmed what we knew all along, long time assistants don't make good head coaches. Coach Luther Van Damn made a great assistant to Hayden Fox at Minnesota State, but imagine him with the head post of the "Screaming Eagles." Wait, you don't even have to imagine, it unveiled itself Thursday night in Boulder. Some one might want to ask Mr. Heat Miser what he was thinking when he gave good ol' boy Stewart a six year contract extension after only 2 victories...

Skip Holtz's phone stopped ringing with job offers from other schools at precisely 3:17pm EST on Saturday. The same time the final whistle blew in Raleigh. He might coach a team in purple and gold, but he doesn't have the athletes to back up gutsy calls like Les Miles does. If they'd kicked the field goal on 4th and goal from the one, instead of going for the touchdown, ECU would still be up by three, be a BCS contender and a have a busy secretary.

Wake Forest players must have bet the under as they tried SO hard to make sure their game with Florida State didn't get out of hand. We're guessing they read our blog about how entertaining 12-3 games are.

Perhaps another Heisman highlight? That kid's got hops!


Andrew Hatch, QB/LSU, learned that hits in the SEC are just a bit harder than those from Division I-AA, or even the Sun Belt for that matter. He was knocked out of Saturday night's game, at Auburn, with a concussion. He was later seen on the sideline enjoying a Snickers and convincing everyone he was batman.


Arkansas fans were right. Life with Bobby Patrino and his "high powered" offense is WAY better than life with that no good, wife cheatin' bastard Houston Nutt. It's OK. Bama fans have some sympathy since they once thought life with a real "Tide man" (Shula) was better than life with a strip club lovin' west coast wacko (Price).

Those of you not fans of the SEC, we hope you get to liken' southern cookin', cause that's awl ESPN and dem other media outlets are gonna be given' us a fine helpin' of for awhile!

No matter how long the mighty Jimmy Clausen grows his hair, he still isn't Samson. Also, is anyone else tired of people trying to legitimize Notre Dame's chances of a BCS bowl by bringing up the schedule? "Well Tim, if you look at the Irish's schedule this year, there are at least 8 games they should win..." They AREN'T going to a BCS bowl this year!

True freshman Terrelle Pryor had 10 completions this weekend, in his much anticipated college debut, however only four of them were for touchdowns. Slacker! Six completions that didn't go for a score? No wonder Ohio State fans didn't pack The Shoe and began the boo birds this weekend. "You Suck!" The future looks SO dim for those Buckeyes!

Oregon is thankful this weekend that they have their own regional TV network (OSN) so the nation didn't get the opportunity to watch Boise State earn their first road victory vs a BCS opponent live. At least their was some coverage available so we can catch the highlights.

Oh and the last thing we learned this week is that John Denver's "Rocky Mountain High" is way better than his "Take Me Home, Country Roads." Don't believe us? Just ask CU alum Chris Fowler.

Heisman Moment..?

We know it is early in the season, but could this be a Heisman Moment? I guarantee that this isn't the last we see of this highlight. This isn't grainy high school footage, this is DIVISION ONE FOOTBALL!

If I could be Like Mike!

It appears that Georgia coach Mark Richt was inspired by Michael Phelps performance at the pool and thought, "Anything Mike can do I can do better!" With that thought in mind he took Tuesday's practice to the UGA aquatic center where players were challenged to take the plung from 33 ft in the air.

At the end, the feeling of patritism over took Richt as he stood at attention on the top of the platform, saluted the crowd and said, "Thank you lifeguards, and (jumping from platform) G-O-D B-L-E-S-S A-M-E-R-I-C-A!" (SPLASH!)

Will see if trying to be like the best in the world will translate into being the best in the country. At least they didn't jump "over the wall."

2008 Preseason All-Jackass Team

The preseason all-everything teams are out.

ESPN released this week, its "Outside the Lines" report on Penn State's criminal issues the past couple years.

Every day there is a new report of football player's getting in trouble.

All of these issues has caused us to ask, "If we were wardens for a state prison system, or a football coach with low morals at a division III program, what is the best team we could build with 2008's suspended/dismissed players?" So that brings us to The College Football Guys', First Annual, Preseason All-Jackass Team.

Offense

QB Ryan Perrilloux - LSU. This was an obvious choice. Destined to be the athletic QB to take the helm of the defending champs only to throw it all away with academic issues, numerous accusations, giving Les no choice but to say goodbye. Dismissed and transferred to Jacksonville State

RB Brandon Ore - Virginia Tech. This star runningback's poor attitude was deemed detrimental to the team by coach Beamer. I guess he finally got tired of suspending him for just one quarter or half a game. Why not just go for it all? Dismissed from program.

RB Lance Smith - Wisconsin. Had the chance this year to compete as PJ Hill's backup and plenty of playing time. Now attending court hearings. Suspended off and on last year. Failed certain requirements of the first offender program for assaulting his girlfriend; suspended indefinitely just last week.

WR Preston Parker - FSU. Because many athletes on the Tallahassee campus enjoy cheating on tests Parker is not the only player missing early season contests. Called by many the most talented player on the Seminole roster, Parker was charged with a misdemeanor for carrying a concealed weapon and marijuana. Suspended for the team's first two games.

KR/WR Harold Howell - Minnesota. Promising 2007 recruit that played in 10 games last year, averaging 23.1 yards per kick return. Harold violated academic and team guidelines; dismissed from team.

OG Andy Christensen - Nebraska. Three game starter in '07 before season ending injury. Thought it would be OK to reach up a woman's dress at a local bar. Sexual assault charges have been filed against him. Maybe he should have taken this test The College Football Guys learned of earlier this year. Might have kept him out of trouble... Suspended indefinitely.

OT Michael Brown - Mississippi State. The Bulldogs best returning offensive lineman, starting 18 of the 19 games since being eligible, after transferring from Florida. Possible NFL prospect who was pictured on MSU's spring training, media guide. Brown and teammate Quinton Wesley were involved in an altercation that began off campus, but ended up with them firing guns in the air around the dorms. Charge and convicted of felony possession of a handgun and aggravated assault. Dismissed from team.

Defense - Where all the crazies play!

DE Michael Lemon - UGA. Played in 8 games for UGA last year as a sophomore. Planned to have a greater role with the defense this year until he punched a fellow student. Well actually punched him over 5 times, in the eye. Enough to give him a blowout fracture. All resulting from an altercation at a summer BBQ in an off campus apartment complex. Dismissed from team.

DT Justin Francis - Rutgers. Robbed a man for his cell phone in a university parking lot and then threatened student with an air pistol. "You'll shot your eye out!" Suspended indefinitely.

CB Jerrard Tarrant - Georgia Tech. Highly touted recruit out of Georgia and expected to start as a red shirt frosh this year. Charged for an on campus rape. Dismissed from team.

LB Jimmy Johns - Alabama. Though not as famous as the sandwich shop that carries the same name, Jimmy is one of many off the field issues at Alabama this off season. Arrested on 5 felony drug distribution charges and a 6th for possession when cocaine and ecstasy was found at his home. Allegedly breeding pit bulls to sell and possibly fight. This web site, www.jimmyjohnspitbulls.com is as popular now as "Bad Newz Kennels." Dismissed from team.

LB Kevin Garrett - Oregon. Penciled in as the Duck's starting weak side linebacker, Kevin was pulled over and cited for the following; failure to obey a traffic control device, making an improper right turn, driving with a suspended license, driving uninsured and failure to carry registration. Officers then found open containers of alcohol in vehicle and cited the 19 year old for minor in possession and a DUI. Suspended indefinitely for violation of team rules.

S De Andre McDaniel - Clemson. Accused of assaulting his girlfriend by throwing her down a flight of stairs and attempting to choke her with a comforter. The accuser is not backing down. Appears he too should have taken our little test. His status for August 30th's season opener against Alabama is still up in the air.

S Brett Lockett - UCLA. This article wouldn't be complete without a mention of a "Slick Rick" player. Lockett is the Bruins starting safty and has been suspended from the team for at least their Sept 1st season opener against Tennesse. Violations of team policy regarding academics.

Dishonorable Mention

S Xavier Hicks - Washington State. Pulled over by police and cited for driving on a suspended license on his way home from spending 45 days in jail. Had just concluded his sentence for stealing a debit card and putting rubbing alcohol in his roommate's contact-lens case. Suspended for the first three games of the season.

Linemen Will Barker and Dave Roberts - Virginia. Stealing beer from a gay bar over the weekend!

WR Marques Wade - Arkansas. Marques' arrest for drunk driving marked the 5th arrest by an Arkansas player this off season, however the events leading up to this arrest may have been the most entertaining. Marques sped through a parking lot, slid through a turn and nearly hit another police car. The report doesn't say what type of car he was driving, but this college football guy isn't ruling out the possibility of an orange, 1969 Dodge Charger. He will be suspended for the first two games of the season.



Did we miss anyone? Let us know. There were MANY to choose from.

The Media Circus is Here!

It is almost that time again! Time to suit it up and start practices across the country and work to get ready for Labor Day Weekend's opening games! But first coaches and players must suffer through media day.

On our podcast and on this blog we try to point out some interesting and humorous differences between the North, South and West and no where is this more evident than in how these regions treat their college football media day(s). Let us take a look at these schedules and see if you can tell the difference.

PAC TEN Media Day - Thursday, July 24th Los Angeles, CA

9:35 am - Tyrone Willingham/QB Jake Locker - Washington
9:50 am - Jim Harbaugh/C Alex Fletcher - Stanford
10:05 am - Paul Wulff/FL Brandon Gibson - Washington State
10:20 am - Jeff Tedford/C Alex Mack - California
10:35 am - Mike Stoops/QB Willie Tuitama - Arizona
10:50 am - Mike Bellotti/DB Patrick Chung - Oregon
11:05 am - Break(Oh good! I thought we were going to go straight through! These 15 minute segments are TOO much!)
11:15 am - Rick Neuheisel/DT Brigham Harwell - UCLA
11:30 am - Mike Riley/DB Brandon Hughes - Oregon State
11:45 am - Dennis Erickson/QB Rudy Carpenter - Arizona State
12:00 noon - Pete Carroll/LB Brian Cushing - USC

12:15 pm - "Sushi for lunch anyone?" I hear there is a great place in Burbank!
1:08 pm - Surf's up Brah! See you on the field in September!

BIG TEN Media Day - Thursday, July 24th, Chicago, IL

11:30 a.m. – Ron Zook (Illinois)
11:45 a.m. – Pat Fitzgerald (Northwestern)
Noon – Bret Bielema (Wisconsin)
12:15 p.m. – Joe Tiller (Purdue)

What no break?! Oh wait it's almost time to ask Jim when Ohio State is going to beat an SEC team...

12:30 p.m. – Jim Tressel (Ohio State)
12:45 p.m. – Bill Lynch (Indiana)
1:30 p.m. – Mark Dantonio (Michigan State)
1:45 p.m. – Tim Brewster (Minnesota)
2 p.m. – Joe Paterno (Penn State)
2:15 p.m. – Kirk Ferentz (Iowa)
2:30 p.m. – Rich Rodriguez (Michigan)
3 p.m. – James E. Delany (Big Ten)

3:15pm - If we hurry we might be able to catch the end of the Cubs game!

SEC Media Days July 23rd to 25th Birmingham, AL

Wednesday
1:10 - 3:10 pm - Urban Meyer, QB Tim Tebow, OT Phil Trautwein - Florida
1:10 - 3:10 pm - Sylvester Croom, QB Wesley Carroll, LB Jamar Chaney - MSU
3:10 - 5:10 pm - Les Miles, C Brett Helms, DE Tyson Jackson - LSU
3:10 - 5:10 pm - Bobby Johnson, S Reshard Langford, WR George Smith - Vandy

5:10 pm - Break until tomorrow morning. BBQ Ribs, fried mashed potatoes, fried okra (have to eat those veggies!), cornbread for dinner. Fried Twinkies for desert. Kentucky Bourbon to wash it all down.

Thursday
7:30 am - Huddle Hut for breakfast. Fried chicken and waffles, one pound bacon, pint of syrup, and 2 liters of coffee.

8:40 - 10:40 am - Mark Richt, WR M. Massaquoi, DT Jeff Owens - Georgia
8:40 - 10:40 am - Nick Saban, OL Antoine Caldwell, S Rashad Johnson - Alabama

Short recess - Use this time to take a Purell bath.

10:40 am - 12:30 pm - Phillip Fulmer, RB Arian Foster, DE Robert Ayers - Tennessee
10:40 am - 12:30 pm - Houston Nutt, DT Peria Jerry, OT Michael Oher - Ole' Miss

12:45 pm - Houston Nutt private interview with Donna Bragg of KHOG News Channel 40/29, Fayetteville, AR.

12:45 pm - BBQ pork & coleslaw sandwich, served on buttered "Texas" Toast.

1:45 pm -4:35 pm - Sleep. What else is there to do in the metropolis of Birmingham, AL?

5:30pm - 8:30pm - BBQ ribs, cornbread....rinse and repeat.

Friday
7:30 am - Waffle House breakfast. Two "Awful Waffles," Hash browns scattered, smothered, and covered.

8:40 - 10:40 am - Tommy Tuberville, C Jason Bosley, DE Sen'derrick Marks - Auburn
8:40 - 10:40 am - Rich Brooks, DE Jeremy Jarmon, WR Dicky Lyons, Jr. - Kentucky
10:40 am - 12:30 pm - Bobby Petrino, LB Elston Forte, C Jonathan Luigs - Arkansas

12:25 pm - Bobby is scheduled to end his press conference with a "Hog Call."

10:40 am - Whenever pm - Steve Spurrier, LB Jasper Brinkley, WR Kenny McKinley - South Carolina

Who are we kidding? This is the highlight of the days. What crazy thing will Spurrier say next?

BIG 12 Media Days - July 23rd-25th Kansas City.

If you think SEC Media Days are crazy, check this out!

The SEC as Liquor

Good looking women. Hot muggy summers. Southern hospitality. Sweet tea. Coke. Rebel attitude.

The south has provided all this and more to the American public. However the most important is the south's love of Spirits.

NASCAR, an entire sports industry, was built around a southern moonshiner's ability to outrun the authorities. It is the efforts of these brave men that saved America the liquid we all enjoy. Liquor is important stuff to these folks. Therefore it makes perfect sense that we compare their teams to the hooch we love so much.

Tennessee - Wild Turkey. Just as the clothes worn to the game, both can be used on your next hunting trip. No need to repack that 4X4. Just whistle for Smokey the hound, and go.

Vanderbilt - Jack Daniels Single Barrel. Not a bourbon, not an Admiral, not Ivy League, and definitely not Woodford's Reserve, but acts like it is.

Kentucky - Maker's Mark. Good solid bourbon that is content to be second best on its own campus. Enjoys a more laid back approach to life.

South Carolina - Old Crow. Mixed with sweetener makes a poor man's mint julep. Straight up it is too hard and abrasive(like a drink from a fire hydrant). The added flavor makes it more soft and subtle like the football team. Enjoys riding the coattails of the once successful.

LSU - Everclear aka Ethanol. No matter how popular and trendy they have become in recent years, when you break it all down it still just moonshine. James Carville is their biggest fan. Makes "drinking the Kool-Aid" that much easier.

Alabama - Patron. New spin on an old classic. Drinking it will make you feel like Superman and repress bad memories of the recent past. At the bottom of it all is still a big ol' worm.

Auburn - Jose Quervo Tradicional. Another case of mistaken identity. Inferior complex to 'Bama Nation. Popular in its own region, but never going to be as hip and recognizable as Patron no matter how many times in a row they beat 'em.

Florida - Grey Goose. Not the old Russian standard. This program and liquid is young, hip, good looking, and successful. "A liquor as pure and clean as the heart of Tim Tebow!"

Georgia - Smirnoff. Traditional program that is trying hard to be as young and hip as their rival. Mark Richt and Red Bull have given them wings.

Arkansas - Moonshine. Drinking it will make you crazy enough to drive your head coach right out of town. May also induce involuntary seizures that make you perform a hideous noise affectionately known as "The Hog Call."

Ol' Miss - Absolut CITRON. When paired with cranberry juice makes a fancy and pretty Cosmo for the fancy and pretty women in "The Grove." Take a taste of it on the field and you will experience how horrible it really is. Coach Nutt has no McFadden in the Oxford stable to make it taste any better.

Mississippi State - Malt Liquor. Believe they are the real thing. Drinking too much makes everything sound better with cow bells. Bottom of the barrel until late in the night or season then it’s palatable. "We need more COW BELL!"


Need to see the whole skit? Here you go.

Fresno State...The best college cinderella ever?

As I sit here enjoying the CWS Finals between UGA and FSU, I can’t help but feel anger and aggravation at the NCAA. Fresno is the lowest seeded team to ever reach a national championship game (in this case a final series) in any NCAA sport. Period. EVER. That being said, hardly anyone in the country knows about it or has even watched the unranked Bulldogs play. We have to watch NCAA basketball on CBS for a month, which is fine, and their Final 4 championship weekend . NCAA football is a different animal and we all know we can’t get enough of BCS bowl games every year on FOX. NCAA baseball is the 3rd most popular sport I would think as far as television viewership and we can’t even watch this history making CWS finals and Fresno State team on 1 of the 4 major networks. ESPN at the very least could’ve promoted the heck out of this CWS finals series and moved it to ABC this week.

Fresno had to win their conference tourney, win the regionals as a 4 seed, win the super regional and then have come to Omaha and competed their tails off. This team’s best pitcher is at home with an injury; they are getting homeruns from guys missing tendons in their hands; and somehow they have a legitimate chance to win a National Championship. It is an absolute shame the country as a whole is not watching what is happening in Omaha. Fresno State could be the lowest ranked team to ever win a national championship and I hope people will remember what this team accomplished this year win or lose because they have competed their hearts out and deserve to at least be watched by sports fans everywhere. Win or Lose, Disney better be preparing to make a movie!!!!

Decision '08 (UGA @ ASU) Day 2

Decision '08 - UGA @ ASU continues.

Do you have something to add to help the readers decide? Post the pic or link in the comments section! Who has the best looking girls?

Georgia?



Arizona State?

Decision '08 (UGA @ ASU)

All the preseason mags are out. All the pundits are starting to assess the season to see who is going to win this year in college football. We thought we would bring the argument to the people by helping you decide who should win a couple of marque match ups we have this season. We could break down who has the best quarterback, or defense, or special teams, or we could just figure out the victor from who has the best looking women!

Today we start with a week "breaking down" the Arizona State/Georgia game. It won't be just the temperature in the desert that will be hot on September 20th. You make the call. Which school has the best looking women?

Georgia?

Arizona State?

Stay tuned all week for more pictures to help you make your decision!

College Football Tour Guide

Great stuff from one of our correspondents on The College Football Guys.

Want to check out more of his stuff? http://collegefootballtourguide.com/the_college_football_tour_guide.html

Death Valley Discontent

As many of you know by now the defending BCS Champion LSU Tigers dismissed starting QB Ryan Perrilloux (Pear-a-lew, not Perr-ill-lux for those of you residing outside of France, Southern Louisiana, and the Great Province of Quebec) from the team last week in what has been reported as a failed drug test. This was the last straw for Coach Les Miles and now the program is left with Andrew Hatch, a Nevada Mormon who also happens to be a Harvard transfer, to do the gun slinging.

This leaves Tiger fans with only one thing left to do. Find out where "Jughead" found his cheba, invite your friends from Boulder over, put on some Skynyrd, and spark up a fat one. If you don't have any particular Skynyrd song in mind, this one might work...

Tide rolls' on, on off the tube,
Gainsville cheers far, far, far away.
Now I feel the Dawgs, snarl outside my door,
Means I'm leaving my championship behind.
Saturday's gone with the wind.
Our QB's gone with a toak.

And I don't know where we're going.
We have been left with a Mormon.
Well, when this season ends we'll try again,
But I'm leaving my quarterback at Southern.

(chorus)

Saturday's gone with the wind.
Saturday's gone with the wind.
Saturday's gone with the wind.
Our QB's gone with a toak.

Tide rolls on, many miles with 'Satan',
See, I'm watching War Eagle fly away.
Ryan, you see, had to be free
But somehow "Geaux Tiger" will carry on.

(chorus, repeat incessantly until fully baked)