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Showing posts with label Washington State. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Washington State. Show all posts
Here at the College Football Guys, we used to have a saying that if you couldn't perform in the big stage, got a case of the yips, you "Coug'd it." However after Texas Tech's performance this last weekend against Texas AM it appears it isn't your fault at all. According to Red Raider's coach Mike Leach it is your "fat girlfriend's" fault that you fail.
I think it is officially time to make Coach Leach my permanent "life coach." His motivation makes me want to get off the couch, break up with my "fat girlfriend", find a REAL "hottie" and stop blogging!
Maybe the reason Coach Leach's players have "fat girlfriends" is because they are taking dating advice from coach.
I wonder how his banking advise will turn out any better for you? Don't forget Husky fans, this guy was almost yours...allegedly.
The holidays are here and with it brings goodwill, gifts, and well wishes! With this in mind we here at the College Football Guys wish to give a load of gifts away this season.
We extend the following gifts and wishes to these college football programs.
Texas and freshman safety Blake Gideon - A second chance at an interception that would have ended the "Miracle in Lubbock" and given the 'Horns a January trip to Miami over Glendale.
Arizona Wildcat Fans- The three year extension you just gave Mike Stoops back. Trust us you will want it back after next year. Seems Wildcat fans have forgotten this Stoops isn't Bob.
USC and Pete Carroll - Independence from the Pac Ten. As an independent the Trojans would enjoy a schedule without 0-12 Washington and 2-10 WAZZU.
The State of Washington - A victory against a FBS school located outside the borders of the Evergreen State.
Ohio State - A BCS game against a team outside of the SEC. Done! Maybe you won't have to change the locker room combination this year.
Auburn - Like the sibling that can't compete for his parent's affection our gift to the Tigers is self confidence, not a new coach. Just because your brother isn't sick anymore and is starting to beat you up again doesn't mean you suck! Just means you were never as good as him.
Michigan - A historic season. Wait that WAS 2008! OK, how about a Sheraton Hawaii Bowl invitation for '09 and a QB that can run the spread option.
Baylor - A transfer from the Big 12 South to the Big 12 North. The Bears will shine with freshman QB Robert Griffin but not as brightly as they would playing the foes in the Big 12's northland.
Texas A&M - A formation that allows an eligible 12th man. Maybe they can sneak one in on the Piedmont A 11 offense.
Arizona State - An offensive line that can protect a QB and the ability to win ANY big game. Littl' Elway better have pop's legs.
UCLA and Rick Neuheisel - About 14, 15, maybe 16 less interceptions from a starting quarterback.
Vanderbilt - Knowledge that the season is 12 games long, not six. Season ending losses to Miss. State, Tennessee, and Duke left a gash on a great start to the season.
Kansas State - A spring recruiting class full of freshmen. Ron Prince's experiment to sign 19 JC transfers this year reeked of desperation and didn't turn out so well.
West Virginia - 4 more years of Pat White.
Notre Dame - A victory in a bowl for the first time since 1993.
We knew August 28th, the day the season started, that this day would come.
Alas it is on the horizon. A Saturday with no football!
No more tailgates. No ESPN College Gameday. No beautiful co-eds. No band playing our favorite song! It is all gone.
What to do? It has been over three months since we have been without. We are all at a bit of a loss here. How is a man to fill his Saturday without college football?
Let us help you out and offer a few suggestions.
First and most important, if you value your companionship with your significant other, do something with your wife, girlfriend, fiance! Who is that you ask? That is the cute little thing (way to cute for you we might add) that has been patiently waiting to get you back on Saturdays.
She has listened to you yell at the TV. Put up with your drunkenness at all the tailgates. Limited her comments when she caught you drooling over a young co-ed and even fixed you dinner a time or two.
TAKE HER OUT!
Now if you don't have a "significant other" and you:
a. Don't have finals to study for. b. Live in an area of the country where it is too cold to do anything outside. c. Believe the only joy that comes from the holiday season is shopping on Christmas Eve. d. Have already defended your favorite program's NCAA '09 National Title 10 times. e. Live in a spotlessly clean home.
and
f. Are hopelessly addicted to your 47" flat screen HDTV.
Here is some TV programing that might cure your withdrawal symptoms. Please check your local listings for times in your area.
Are you an ACC fan? Now is your chance to scout next year's schedule. This weekend is the semi finals for the FCS championship. Richmond plays at Northern Iowa, 4pm EST on ESPN. Just in case you are lost Friday night, Montana plays at JMU, 8pm EST on the "Deuce."
Big 12 fans - Storm Chasers; Sean and Reed bring their teams closer to tornadoes than ever before, 2pm CST on Discovery and we must never forget King of the Hill, 3pm CST on FX.
For SEC fans, CMT has you covered with the 12 Days of Redneck Christmas, 5pm EST.
CMT is also helping West Virginia fans with Larry the Cable Guy's Star-Studded Christmas Extravaganza at 9:30pm EST. It is rumored that Mountaineer head coach Bill Stewart is co-hosting.
Bill Dance Outdoors on Versus at 1pm EST gives us a nice review of the 2008 Tennessee football season. In case you don't get a chance to catch it, we have posted it below.
Kind of reminds you of Ol' Fulmer, don't it?
Layla Kiffin says goodbye on Bravo's 7pm PST airing of Real Housewives of Orange County.
Auburn boosters call in to CNBC's 8pm EST showing of the Suze Orman Show to ask if paying $5.1 million to buy out one of the most successful coaches in the SEC is a sound financial decision. Suze's reaction is priceless.
Cal fans will find An Inconvenient Truth airing on Discovery at 1pm PST.
For those Notre Dame, Washington, WAZZU, Syracuse, Iowa State, Michigan, SMU, and North Texas fans, Trainwrecks is on Spike at noon EST. If you need something in prime time Mission Impossible III is on TNT at 11pm EST.
For Oregon, Cal, Missouri, Army, Central Michigan and every other programs that donned ugly uni's this year, What Not To Wear is on TLC at 4, 5, and 6pm EST.
Bottom line: Whatever you do, don't forget the Heisman Trophy Presentation is at 8pm EST on (where do you think?) ESPN.
Don't worry. This weekend is just a practice for January as Bowl Season begins bright and early at 11am EST, Saturday, December 20th!
Oklahoma's destruction of Texas Tech on Saturday didn't help the College Football Guys figure out the best team in the Big-12 South, or the country, for that matter. However we did learn something this week and we feel that it is our duty to pass the knowledge on to you.
FSN's national broadcast of the Apple Cup, a battle of two teams with a combined 1-20 record, confirmed what your local news already knows - Americans LOVE train wrecks!
NBC knows this too! That's why they continue to renew their TV contract with Notre Dame. What is still unknown is which Notre Dame contract will last longer - Charlie's or NBC's?
Even though San Diego State fired head coach Chuck Long, his words from the beginning of the year may have served as prophesy. Wisconsin, playing at home, on Senior Day, needed a missed extra point attempt to beat Cal-Poly in OT, 36-35. This begs the question, "Is Cal-Poly better than Notre Dame?"
This weekend we figured out how the ACC should crown their champion.
1. Write the name of each program mathematically alive for an ACC division title on separate pieces of paper. 2. Fold them up and place them in a hat. 3. Have Doug Flutie draw a single piece of paper out. 4. The name of the program revealed will represent the ACC in a BCS game. No need for an ACC championship. It would muddy the water further and it doesn't make money anyway. 5. Then it is up to the chosen program to beg for mercy from the BCS bowl selection committee to be match against the Big East champ. This will be the ONLY way to prevent the ACC from losing another BCS game (1-9 since the BCS was created).
Not even the meteorologist in Mike Leach could predict the storm that hit the Red Raiders in Norman.
Did you know Joe Pa is getting hip replacement? Didn't know if you knew since it was only mentioned 412 times before, during, and after the Penn State/Michigan State game.
Minnesota showed us that the only way to close a stadium is the "Golden Gopher Way." After starting the season 7-1, Minnesota has dropped their last four games. Three of which were played in the Metrodome. A stadium that will no longer be the home of the mighty Golden Gophers as they move into their new digs on campus in '09. Iowa's 55-0 victory in Minneapolis, on Saturday was a COLD reminder of the team Gopher fans want to leave behind as fast as the empty Metrodome.
Andrew Aguila, kicker for the CMU Chippewas, is really Inigo Montoya. All six fingered men should be on high alert!
It is official, with a 2/OT loss to the Washington State Cougars, the Washington Huskies became the WORST 2008 team in NCAA Division I-A (FBS) football!
Speaking of NCAA worsts: Another week, another terrible uniform in college football. Vegas Gold? Can anyone tell us why?
ATTENTION: BEFORE PROCEEDING FURTHER INTO THIS BLOG ENTRY YOU MUST PRESS PLAY ON THE VIDEO BELOW!
There has been PLENTY of articles bashing the 0-10 Huskies and the 1-10 Cougars the last couple of days, weeks, and months. In the words of Cougar alum, Keith Jackson, this Saturday's Apple Cup is sure "...to go down as an all-time, all-timer." We here at The College Football Guys do not wish to pile on further. We know, we know, your asking "Are you guys feeling OK?"
Yes.
Honestly how much more can you pour on to two programs that have fallen from national prominence faster than a pair of crocs on anyone besides Tim Tebow? In 2001 Washington was Rose Bowl champions and finished number 3 in the country. From 2001-2003, Washington State finished each season with ten wins and a top ten ranking. This included a 28-20 defeat of #6 Texas in the 2003 Holiday Bowl.
What has gone wrong since has been the subject of MANY media articles this week. Today we want to give the fans of the Cougars and Huskies a release from the negative and a feeling of hope again. A sense of pride and a reminder of how great it is to be a Dawg and a Coug. With that said it is time to take a look at some of the "Glory Days!"
Cougars
Cougar fans will want to go to 2:23 for full enjoyment!
Another week, another dominating performance from Texas.
Another week of hearing "The Eyes of Texas." That thrilling song set to the tune of "I've been working on the railroad" and whose lyrics are a play on words from a saying Robert E. Lee had "The eyes of the south are upon you." Therefore it is in honor of this lack of originality that we bring you this equally creative blog entry.
Who says Texas A&M is the only program with a 12th man? LSU just strategically places them on the field in spiffy pin striped suits.
Texas Tech coach Mike Leach didn't feel 36 points against A&M was enough to impress voters this week, so he had QB Graham Harrell sneak it in with 20 seconds left. This is about as classy as Red Raider fans. Think we are being a little hard? Then you haven't seen this video yet.
Virginia Tech might want to rethink its future travel plans to Boston College. Since joining the ACC the Hokies have won EVERY conference road game, EXCEPT the two against the Eagles in Boston.
Rece Davis, we get it! Pittsburgh's LeSean "Shady" McCoy is the real Slim Shady and all other Slim Shady's are just imitating. McCoy has stood up this season and carried the Panthers to a top 20 BCS ranking even after being embarrassed by Bowling Green week one.
According to one strategically placed sign, that was up for about 10 seconds on ESPN College Gameday before black clothed security swooped in and confiscated it - Chase Daniel has a FUPA. Who knew?
Tulsa's football team created a bit of Midnight Madness themselves hanging 77 on UTEP Saturday night. Practice should be interesting this week in El Paso with Mike Price carrying around that crazy pick axe of his. If we played on the Miner's D we would be a little scared...
At least Mike Price has one thing to be thankful for, he is no longer coaching at Washington State! The Cougars could possibly be the worst team in the HISTORY of NCAA Division 1-A football. Of the Cougars four Pac Ten games they have played this year, their opponents have scored no less than 63 points. Three of those loses have come at home. Never has this feat been accomplished in NCAA history. Two weeks ago the program held open tryouts for a quarterback! The student body might want to concider changing their mascot to the Pinatas.
Rubbing Howard's Rock and "the most exciting 25 seconds in college football" is no longer enough for Clemson's new coach Dabo Swinney. He added the "Tiger Walk" with players in suits and ties walking to the locker room and "All In", a team walk from the 50 yard line in. Even with these recently minted traditions the Tigers couldn't get out of their way against the "Ramblin' Wreck" of GT. It is going to take more than just new traditions to convince some die hard fans the move was right.
Go to about the :47 mark. Well worth it!
Dr. Lou is wishing he acted a little differently last week when he talked about Colt McCoy's chances of winning the Heisman. Think he has changed his mind after Saturday night's 29-32, 337 yds, 2 passing/2 rushing touchdown performance?
This weekend still got you rubbing your eyes? Maybe pinching yourself to see if this is all just a dream? Have you been left a confused mess on the couch crying out, "Why! Why!" Well to be frank we are still scratching our collective brains as well. However we did learn a couple of things this weekend.
Note to SEC fans. Writing off the Florida loss to an Ol' Miss team that hadn't won an SEC game on the road in the last 14 tries to "depth of conference" sounds as ridiculous as the following:
Oregon State's victory over USC definitely shows how strong the Pac Ten is.
Even though Maryland lost to Middle Tennessee State their victory over ACC power house Clemson demonstrates the depth and power of the ACC from top to bottom.
Michigan's 19 point comeback to upset #9 Wisconsin shows how much resolve and power the Big Ten conference has.
Houston's victory over BCS Cinderella ECU shows that top to bottom, it doesn't matter who you play in Conference USA, you better be careful!
Upsets in conference play happen SEC fans! Get over yourselves.
The practice of wearing black should be reserved ONLY for funerals. Here is the now famous You Tube footage. Advance to 1:05 so you don't waste your entire morning.
While it seems UGA was confused on the purpose of wearing black, Oregon State had an "orange out," Penn State had a "white out" and Miami called Stanford to find out some more information about their "Satisfaction Guarantee." With an attendance on only 35,830 in Dolphin Stadium it appeared they were doing a "walk out." Maybe Hurricane fans were just protesting Butch Davis' return.
Penn State offense looks much better in HD. It is amazing what the Lion's can do when Anthony Morelli isn't on the field to throw interceptions every other possession.
Even though visiting Pac Ten teams have to take a flight several hours long to Spokane, jump on a bus down a dirt road to Pullman, WA to stay the night at a Best Western in Moscow, ID, it doesn't seem to stop them from hanging 60+ on WAZZU, even on homecoming weekend.
While the spirit of David was alive and well in most college stadiums throughout the land, it seems the Palouse of Eastern Washington just might be a bit too remote for the littl' fella.
Everyone was a good sport last week trying to guess which names were a DUI attorney or a NCAA football stadium. For those of you that listened to our podcast you already know the answers, but for those that slacked here they are.
Carter Finley - NC State's Stadium Dunham Rogers - DUI attorney in Austin, TX Sean Sullivan - DUI attorney in Las Vegas. Might want to keep that one for future reference. Dowdy Ficklen - Home of the East Carolina Univ. Pirates. Joan Edwards - Thundering Herd of Marshall Univ.'s home. William Kibbie - The Idaho Vandals protect this house! Casey Mulligan - DUI attorney in Boulder, CO. How about a Mulligan? John Scheumann - Stadium for Ball State. J. Layne Smith - Tallahassee DUI attorney. I am sure he is on Seminole speed dial. Jason Dunkle - State College, PA DUI attorney. He has stayed plenty busy this year. Kelly Shorts - Chippewas of Central Michigan's home. Clarence Martin - Cougar's home on the Palouse of Washington State. John Lloyd - Tuscaloosa, AL DUI attorney. Wallace Wade - Always sold out home of the Duke Blue Devils. Also the home of the 1942 Rose Bowl.
The two most recent DUI arrests of Kentucky QB Curtis Pulley and Arkansas WR Marques Wade are just a couple of the MANY DUI issues that have continued to plague the college football landscape. This has given us yet another opportunity to have a little fun and promote our podcast in the process.
Once one has been arrested for a DUI it becomes extremely important to find adequate representation and find it fast. There are SO many DUI attorney's out there and SO many of their names remind us of college football stadiums. In order to help these young men out and to test your knowledge of Division I-A/FBS college football stadiums, we have produced the following list.
Which of these names represents a DUI attorney or a college football stadium? Good Luck!
Carter Finley Dunham Rogers Sean Sullivan Dowdy Ficklen Joan Edwards William Kibbie Casey Mulligan John Scheumann J. Layne Smith Jason Dunkle Kelly Shorts Clarence Martin John Lloyd Wallace Wade
The answers can be found in the latest edition of our podcast. Click here and push play!
Dave Heeke knows a couple things about marketing and billboards. When he was at the University of Oregon he helped get a 10 story poster of future Detroit Lion's great Joey Harrington in Times square. (A billboard that spurred Washington State to paste a banner on the side of a grain elevator, in Dusty, WA, for Jason Gesser's "Heisman campaign.")
As the current athletic director at Central Michigan, Heeke has done it again. This time it is the Chippewa's star QB Dan LeFevour at Comerica Park in downtown Detroit.
It seems to this college football guy Heeke is just taking advantage of an opportunity. He has a Heisman candidate at QB. A team with that runs an entertaining offense. A city that is hurting financially needs entertainment on a budget more than any place else. $20 a game to see an entertaining offense is a steal. What else are you going to do? Watch the Detroit Lions? Over pay to see the Michigan Wolverines and the Rich Rod soup opera?
This should be a good year for the Central Michigan athletic department.
Besides everyone knows "Champions Come Standard at CMU!"
ESPN released this week, its "Outside the Lines" report on Penn State's criminal issues the past couple years.
Every day there is a new report of football player's getting in trouble.
All of these issues has caused us to ask, "If we were wardens for a state prison system, or a football coach with low morals at a division III program, what is the best team we could build with 2008's suspended/dismissed players?" So that brings us to The College Football Guys', First Annual, Preseason All-Jackass Team.
Offense
QB Ryan Perrilloux - LSU. This was an obvious choice. Destined to be the athletic QB to take the helm of the defending champs only to throw it all away with academic issues, numerous accusations, giving Les no choice but to say goodbye. Dismissed and transferred to Jacksonville State
RB Brandon Ore - Virginia Tech. This star runningback's poor attitude was deemed detrimental to the team by coach Beamer. I guess he finally got tired of suspending him for just one quarter or half a game. Why not just go for it all? Dismissed from program.
RB Lance Smith - Wisconsin. Had the chance this year to compete as PJ Hill's backup and plenty of playing time. Now attending court hearings. Suspended off and on last year. Failed certain requirements of the first offender program for assaulting his girlfriend; suspended indefinitely just last week.
WR Preston Parker - FSU. Because many athletes on the Tallahassee campus enjoy cheating on tests Parker is not the only player missing early season contests. Called by many the most talented player on the Seminole roster, Parker was charged with a misdemeanor for carrying a concealed weapon and marijuana. Suspended for the team's first two games.
KR/WR Harold Howell - Minnesota. Promising 2007 recruit that played in 10 games last year, averaging 23.1 yards per kick return. Harold violated academic and team guidelines; dismissed from team.
OG Andy Christensen - Nebraska. Three game starter in '07 before season ending injury. Thought it would be OK to reach up a woman's dress at a local bar. Sexual assault charges have been filed against him. Maybe he should have taken this test The College Football Guys learned of earlier this year. Might have kept him out of trouble... Suspended indefinitely.
OT Michael Brown - Mississippi State. The Bulldogs best returning offensive lineman, starting 18 of the 19 games since being eligible, after transferring from Florida. Possible NFL prospect who was pictured on MSU's spring training, media guide. Brown and teammate Quinton Wesley were involved in an altercation that began off campus, but ended up with them firing guns in the air around the dorms. Charge and convicted of felony possession of a handgun and aggravated assault. Dismissed from team.
Defense - Where all the crazies play!
DE Michael Lemon - UGA. Played in 8 games for UGA last year as a sophomore. Planned to have a greater role with the defense this year until he punched a fellow student. Well actually punched him over 5 times, in the eye. Enough to give him a blowout fracture. All resulting from an altercation at a summer BBQ in an off campus apartment complex. Dismissed from team.
DT Justin Francis - Rutgers. Robbed a man for his cell phone in a university parking lot and then threatened student with an air pistol. "You'll shot your eye out!" Suspended indefinitely.
CB Jerrard Tarrant - Georgia Tech. Highly touted recruit out of Georgia and expected to start as a red shirt frosh this year. Charged for an on campus rape. Dismissed from team.
LB Jimmy Johns - Alabama. Though not as famous as the sandwich shop that carries the same name, Jimmy is one of many off the field issues at Alabama this off season. Arrested on 5 felony drug distribution charges and a 6th for possession when cocaine and ecstasy was found at his home. Allegedly breeding pit bulls to sell and possibly fight. This web site, www.jimmyjohnspitbulls.com is as popular now as "Bad Newz Kennels." Dismissed from team.
LB Kevin Garrett - Oregon. Penciled in as the Duck's starting weak side linebacker, Kevin was pulled over and cited for the following; failure to obey a traffic control device, making an improper right turn, driving with a suspended license, driving uninsured and failure to carry registration. Officers then found open containers of alcohol in vehicle and cited the 19 year old for minor in possession and a DUI. Suspended indefinitely for violation of team rules.
S De Andre McDaniel - Clemson. Accused of assaulting his girlfriend by throwing her down a flight of stairs and attempting to choke her with a comforter. The accuser is not backing down. Appears he too should have taken our little test. His status for August 30th's season opener against Alabama is still up in the air.
S Brett Lockett - UCLA. This article wouldn't be complete without a mention of a "Slick Rick" player. Lockett is the Bruins starting safty and has been suspended from the team for at least their Sept 1st season opener against Tennesse. Violations of team policy regarding academics.
Dishonorable Mention
S Xavier Hicks - Washington State. Pulled over by police and cited for driving on a suspended license on his way home from spending 45 days in jail. Had just concluded his sentence for stealing a debit card and putting rubbing alcohol in his roommate's contact-lens case. Suspended for the first three games of the season.
WR Marques Wade - Arkansas. Marques' arrest for drunk driving marked the 5th arrest by an Arkansas player this off season, however the events leading up to this arrest may have been the most entertaining. Marques sped through a parking lot, slid through a turn and nearly hit another police car. The report doesn't say what type of car he was driving, but this college football guy isn't ruling out the possibility of an orange, 1969 Dodge Charger. He will be suspended for the first two games of the season.
Did we miss anyone? Let us know. There were MANY to choose from.
Just in time for Sunday's start of the Discovery Channel's Shark Week, The College Football Guys bring you the Top Sharks of College Football.
Sharks are slick, spineless, sneaky and cunning. They have little regard for manners and often leave behind a mess for a family or "school" to clean up. Misunderstood by most, they are crucial to maintaining the balance of the ocean's fragile ecosystem by weeding out weaker or injured creatures.
Like the mysterious creatures of the seas these college football coaches contain many of the same attributes. You might enjoy their success in the short term, as they chow down on weaker opponents. However, what makes you think they won't latch on to the next piece of meat that falls into the ocean leaving you, the program, school and fan, to clean up the mess? Caveat Emptor, let the buyer be aware of the following play callers.
Dennis Erickson - Denny has a history of making promises he can't keep. In just his second NCAA head coaching job at Wyoming he promised a long tenure, yet left after one season to coach Washington State. He spent a mere two seasons at WAZZU before bolting to "The U." After six seasons there he left the program with two national titles and facing 3 years probation. Erickson jumped ship again in 2006, after telling Vandal fans he was going to be around for the long term, he left again, after just one year.
Rich Rodriguez - Initially appeared to be the good guy when he told Alabama no and said he would stay and coach his alma mater for years to come. This might have been true if Michigan had figured out a way to beat a I-AA team from Boone, NC. Rich Rod left for Michigan in the middle of bowl preparations and refused to pay agreed upon buyout.
Evidently collecting keys is not part of a WVU's exit interview, so he snuck back into the office and started shredding notes on players. The balls on Rodriguez and the blades on that shredder where bigger and sharper than any shark we have ever seen.
Rick Neuheisel - With a law degree from UCLA and a member of the Arizona State and DC Bar Associations, Rick already has the necessary qualifications of a shark. "Slick Rick" slipped out of Colorado to become one of the top five paid coaches in the country at Washington leaving CU with 51 NCAA rules violations. After four years at U-DUB Neuheisel lied to the administration about interviews for the 49er's position and then had that "little" incident involving an NCAA "pool." The program STILL hasn't recovered. Maybe time away and coaching for alma mater will change his ways.
Does an alcoholic ever lose his addition? Don't think so...
Nick Saban - This shark will sneak right up on you and attack when you least expect. The "Savior" of Michigan State football, Saban used the program as a nice stepping stone to go coach an LSU team that needed some saving itself. If the story stopped here we might consider him an older, more popular Urban Meyer. However his thirst for blood and money left him with no choice but to seek out the challenge of a bigger "fish." After two years he showed his teeth again and followed the Crimson blood leaving a destroyed Dolphin's team in the wake. 'Bama fans could only say, "We done caught ourselves a big'en!"
Bobby Petrino - Where to begin? Bobby pulled the biggest sneak attack of them all! How do you leave a team in the middle of the season, with a Dear John letter? "Dear Team, I have been doing some thinking and this just isn't working out. I really think we should see other people." It's like breaking up with your girlfriend with a text message on Christmas Day! Only a great shark pulls a stunt like that.
Coaches that might be confussed as sharks:
Houston Nutt - While Arkansas fans are just plain nuts, there is usually a truth somewhere in the middle of two completely different stories. Houston, just tell us, "Did you have relations with Ms. Bragg?"
Mike Price - Vilified in the "southland" for enjoying strippers. The state that brings the world Wesley's Booby Trap was offended by Price's actions. Who is really the hypocrite here?
Mike Gundy - Much like a whale shark, his actions and words are worse than his bite. Enjoys plankton and reporters.
Steve Spurrier - Proves every year at South Carolina he is no longer harmful. He would rather be playing golf with another "Shark."
Enjoy Shark Week everyone! Soon there will be something better to watch on Saturdays!
According to this video so are 4000 people every summer in Lind, WA. Everything you wanted to know and more about the great sport of Combine Demolition Derby is below!
How much longer until K-State and Iowa State, or any Big 12 school for that matter, put together a team? I can see Bobby Knight as a guest announcer. Maybe throwing some chairs in the parking lot before the event to warm the crowd up.
When thinking of the Pacific Ten Conference one might compare it to drinking a glass of fine wine; soft and aloof. Daily reminders of "west coast bias" might cause an SEC fan to proclaim, "Would you like some more cheese with that whine?"
The self proclaimed "Conference of Champions," with more NCAA titles than any other conference and schools that reside in cities like Seattle, San Fran, Los Angeles and Phoenix often can be thought of pretentious and ambitious. With this in mind we have a few wine selections that might come in handy when describing the programs of the Pac Ten.
Arizona - Chateu Ste. Michelle Neillie's Garden Dry Rosé. This might be the only rose these fans ever get their hands on. Quick trivia question to stump your friends: What Pac Ten team has never been to a Rose Bowl? "Arizona. May the Lute be with you. Always."
Arizona State - Yellow Tail. Fun to look at, much like Sun Devil women. Young, hip, and mass produced. Easy to buy and consume. Prays every day to be as well liked as its California counterparts.
Cal - Gainey Riesling. Aromatic grape variety, displaying flowery, almost perfumed, aromas. Useful in covering the smell of a tree hugger after 18 months without a bath. Rieslings are rarely "oaked." Perfect. Victory for every Berkeley tree lover!
Stanford - 1787 Chateau Lafite. Old and sophisticated. Requires too much knowledge and money to actually enjoy. However young ex-quarterback is trying desperately to knock the dust off this bottle.
Oregon - Cristal (Champagne). The packaging and marketing of the product has caused it to be wildly overpriced and over hyped. Highly fashionable early pick, yet rarely delivers as portrayed.
Oregon State - Charles Shaw, aka "Two Buck Chuck". Great deal of value in this wine and program. Minimal amounts of money spent yet outperform their foes in head-to-head competition year in and out. Overachievers.
USC - Robert Mondavi. Quality of product brought world wide recognition to their geographical areas. Widely popular and have become the standard bearer in their industry. Though a jealous few may call them overrated.
UCLA - Kendall Jackson. REALLY wants to be like Robert Mondavi. Looking for youth and enthusiasm to provide energy in a program that desires to move from behind the shadows of its cross town rival.
Washington - Bartels and Jaymes. Once a big time player. An easy choice for those looking for a change. Extremely relevant in the 80's and early 90's now largely forgotten.
Washington State - Château cardboard, aka "Boxed Wine", cheap, convenient, can be found easily at the local general store. Would have went with "Two Buck Chuck" here, but know there is not a Trader Joe's within 120 miles of Pullman. Plus it is obvious from this video that Cougar women don't need anything very sophisticated. PLEASE go to 1:42 on this video. You won't be disappointed!
SEC/USC fans you might want to start at 1:27.
Stay tuned to this blog as we reveal more comparisons. How do SEC schools stack up to your favorite liquor? What beer best represents your Big Ten school? Which woman is your Big 12 school most like?
A couple weeks ago our blog had an entry on the definition of "Cougin' It". It didn't take to long for an ol' WAZZU Coug' to give us another example. Last week Cougar Xavier Hicks was pulled over on his way home from jail! He was serving a 45 day sentence for stealing a debit card and putting rubbing alcohol in his roommate's contact-lens.
Driving home from jail. Get pulled over a couple blocks from home and cited for driving on a suspended license. "Coug'd It."
Washington State cut ties yesterday with their top quarterback prospect. Calvin Schmidtke was freed from his letter of intent because it appears that he can't stay out of trouble with the authorities. He has been cited 11 times, in 18 months, for various violations, the most serious of which involve alcohol and drug trafficking. He was so close to fooling the coaches on the Palouse, yet in the end he couldn't get that D-1 scholy he coveted so. You could say that this kid has already shown some of the qualities Cougars are famous for. He "Coug'd it."
"Coug' it" is a saying that has become apart of Pacific Northwest resident's lexicon. Based on years and years of the Cougar football team's uncanny ability to get off to a great start only to see it evaporate in a cloud of losses in November. The phenomena has transcended the arena of sports and is now used to describe blowing for sure things at the last minute. You might define it as "snatching defeat from the almost certain clutches of victory." Find a way to use it this weekend and impress your friends of your knowledge of other cultures. Here are some examples to get you started.
Can't close the deal on a great date - "Coug'd it."
Poor interview causes you to loss out on a job offer that was all but a foregone conclusion - "You really Coug'd that one!"
Lose a game in the last out of the ninth inning - "We Coug'd that game!"
Didn't get that big sale even though you nailed the presentation - "Coug'd it!"
Fail a final exam that you only needed a C in to get an A in the class - "You really Coug'd that one away!"
Lost out on a college scholarship that you had already signed the letter of intent for - "Dude, I hope you didn't Coug' your life away."
It seems that the Republic is being invaded for the first time since Civil War days! Notre Dame has announced that they will be playing a "home" game in the New Texas Stadium in 2013 against Arizona State University. This combined with a "home" game scheduled for 2009 vs. Washington State in San Antonio has signaled that Notre Dame either believes they are now competing with the Dallas Cowboys as America's Team, or they feel Notre Dame Stadium is not good enough anymore.
One question this college football guy has: "Is Mercedes developing a pope-mobile for Touchdown Jesus?"
Reminds me of an old Texas saying, Notre Dame should be "As welcome as an outhouse breeze."
The preseason all-everything teams are out.
Just in time for Sunday's start of the 
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