Want to have a little fun with College Football? So do we! Join us for the funniest, most entertaining College Football Blog and College Football Podcast on the web!
Time for your favorite college program to sign some good looking high school kids...
Join us as we break down this year's class. Discuss the pro's and con's of an early signing period. Is Seantrel Henderson making the right decision? Kiffin has a man crush on 13 year olds.
Plus one college football guy goes off on 40 year olds "friending prospects" on facebook and the "final score" gives us insight on what Homer Simpson was doing when he was 17.
Seems that the recent success of the University of Oregon has inspired a couple other top programs (might be a reach to refer to Florida State in such a way) to change up their uniforms for their November 21st games this year.
According to many sources on the world wide web, "The" Ohio State is going with a "throwback" uniform for its rivalry game against Michigan. The uniform is said to honor the 1954 National Title team and to include white helmets. Seems to us that the same fan base that went crazy in 2006 for the removal of a stripe from the Buckeyes home uniform will have a tough time swallowing these uniforms. Just imagine what will happen if Ohio State finds a way to lose to the Wolverines, in Ann Harbor. Columbus will be burned to the ground!
A twitpic of what these "throwbacks" are rumored to look like.
Florida State is truly on its way to becoming the University of Oregon @ Tallahassee. This link shows some VERY interesting uniform "improvements" that the Seminoles will debut against mighty FIU. The new uniform will include a BLACK HELMET!
Are these uniform changes an indication of what the future will bring, or just a desperate act to sell uniforms and gain attention?
Click HERE and listen to the first minute of this week's predictions show to find out who it is! If you are from West Texas and have a skinny girlfriend you definitely need to pay them a visit!
Oh yeah and we also preview and pick the biggest games of the week, LSU @'Bama and Ohio State @ Penn State.
Ethan was right last week, picking Oregon to demolish USC. Will we pull another winner this weekend? Tune in to find out!
Plus Oregon State/Cal, FSU/Clemson, OU/Nebraska, Navy/ND and many more! Listen and enjoy!
Join the college football guys as they attempt to explain why these upsets keep happening and which one surprised them the most. Also, the game you have all been waiting for it - Real or Silicone is back! Find out what we think about Kansas, Wisconsin, UCLA, Texas A&M, Michigan, Auburn, and LSU.
Plus is it time to be done with Florida State? Can Miami rebound this week? Is Iowa a BCS contender? Will Cal now fall off a cliff? That and soo much more!
You know what to do! Click here. Press play and ENJOY!
This weekend we learned that the BCS has deemed Florida and Oklahoma good enough to play in the BCS Championship Game. There was a couple other nuggets of knowledge that the College Football Guys picked up this weekend and we wish to pass them on to you. The ACC should find a Florida high school football stadium to host their championship game in. The game's move from Jacksonville to Tampa this year produced an attendance that only a minor league baseball team would be proud of. Which is pretty handy considering they might want to consult some minor league teams for promotional ideas to attract more fans through the gates. Here are our thoughts:
10. Dollar beer. 9. Free Frank Beamer bobble head dolls to the first 8,000 fans. 8. "Michael Vick, Bring Your Dog to the Game Day." 7. Schedule an FCS program. 6. Collectible "Bowden Bowl" T-shirts from the early 2000's. Limited quantity. When there gone there gone! 5. Option to buy 2 tickets to the ACC Basketball Championship Game to the fan that wears the best Mike K. costume to the game. 4. Chance for a fan to win a $100,000 scholarship from Dr. Pepper. Wait. Scratch that. Already tried it. 3. Parachutists that land in Orlando instead of Raymond James Stadium. 2. Doug Flutie #22 Rosaries given to the first 2,222 fans. 1. Winning team splits the ACC conference's share of the $17 million BCS payout with any fan that turns in their used ticket stub.
Auburn showed the world this week how much of an attention seeking, step-brother they are to Alabama. Why would you fire a coach with 8 winning seasons, one 13-0 season, and six straight victories against your rival? The decision seems obvious. Auburn fans don't want the world to think that Arkansas has the SEC's most juvenile and obnoxious fans. It looks as though the lunacy of two programs is Mississippi's gain.
Alabama coach Nick Saban spoke of loyalty this week. Yes, you read that right! Nick Saban, "The King of Loyalty" criticized SEC football programs for being too quick to jump ship. Don't believe us? Here (at 1:35) is the video to prove it.
Nick Saban press conference 12-03-08
Rudy Carpenter taught us that getting thrown out of a girl's high school basketball game is no way to prepare for a rivalry game. However Rudy's lack of focus may have allowed Mike Stoops to take his home off the market.
Steve Sarkisian was named the next coach of the University of Washington. We will see if Husky fans find him an offensive genius when calling the plays for a team that had no player find the end zone more than four times this year.
Best use of a white out: West Virginia players and fans choice to honor Pat White with a "White Out" showed the nation what college football should be about.
Best revival of a uniform tradition: Pete Carroll's decision to bring the crimson uniforms to Pasadena for a UCLA home game. While some schools try soo hard to find the next "hot" thing (Oregon), sometimes all you have to do is reach back in the closet.
Worst new uniform of the weekend: One advantage to the new camouflage and black uniforms Army broke out this weekend is that dirt and grass stains are less obvious. The equipment managers for Army found this particularly helpful this weekend after Navy plowed the field with the Black Knights.
While the College Football Guys may not have figured out if the BCS got the Big 12 South tie breaker right (find out what we think in this week's podcast tonight!). We still learned an awful lot this weekend in college football. Below is just a sample.
It is no wonder the Big 12 conference is getting so much love this year. Watching the end of a Big 12 game is like watching the end of a March Madness game. Both Kansas/Missouri and Nebraska/Colorado games were decided in the final minute. Kansas with a play from Todd Reesing that would make Flutie proud and Nebraska with a 57 yard field goal! One can only hope the Dr. Pepper Big 12 Championship Game brings as much excitement.
How fast has the luster faded from the MIGHTY SEC? With a victory over rival FSU, Florida avoided an Almost College football Conference weekend sweep of the SEC. South Carolina, Georgia and the former darlings of Vanderbilt each lost their regular season finales. Their defeats brought the SEC's record to 6-10 vs. BCS programs this year and 4-6 vs. the ACC. Before Florida's victory on Saturday night the last BCS program the SEC defeated was at Arizona State on September 20th! Since that game the SEC has lost to Texas, Wake (twice), West Virginia, Duke, Georgia Tech, Clemson as well as non-BCS "powerhouse" Wyoming.
Notre Dame found out Saturday night who the true five star athletes are. USC's dominance of the Irish was not defined enough in the 38-3 score. The true stat is the 91 yards of total offense the Trojans held ND to. The Irish could muster only 9 yards in the first half and achieved their first, first down on the last play of the third quarter. NO ONE can argue that recruiting web sites and magazines have been inflating Notre Dame classes for years in an attempt to sell subscriptions and memberships. There isn't a single player on ND's roster that would start for USC.
The "Mad Hatter," Les Miles at LSU, was out "Hatted" this weekend by Arkansas. Razorback QB Casey Dicks threw a 24 yard TD pass with 22 seconds remaining to win the game for the Hogs. It is safe to say that the luck, er "great calls," of 2007 just weren't there for the Tigers in 2008.
Who says that Houston Nutt is the only "Right Reverend" in the SEC? Georgia coach Mark Richt sure looked like he was doing plenty of preaching on Saturday when he made his teamtake a knee and gather 'round after the third quarter. We all know the only reason teams go into the locker room at halftime is so the band can use the field.
Rick Neuheisel will start winning at UCLA when he finds a QB that throws more touchdowns to players in powder blue and gold than the opposition. Arizona State returned three Kevin Craft interceptions for touchdowns on Friday night (Craft's 17th, 18th, and 19th INT for the year to 7 TD's). Add the 71 yard fumble return for a touchdown you have an NCAA record for four defensive scores in one game. Remove the mistakes? UCLA wins 9-6.
Several uniform issues that came up this weekend. Since when did it become popular for kickers to color coordinate their shoes with their uniforms? Just goes to show that flipping through Eastbay catalogs takes up a majority of a kicker's practice/film study time. We wonder if these kickers ever get jealous of their girlfriends' shoe collection.
Seems that University of Missouri/Columbia researcher, David Brunsma findings were true in "that student uniforms have no direct effect on substance use, behavioral problems, or attendance." While he was talking about uniforms in the classroom of K-12 students he could have easily done his research on the results of college football programs wearing alternative uniforms. Especially ones that are piss yellow.
Join The College Football Guys for this week's podcast as we ride out the calm before the storm.
Find out what TCFGs thought of this weekend's action. Who will win Texas Tech/Oklahoma? What will happen in Happy Valley? Does Boise State, Utah, and Ball State really have a shot to stay undefeated for another week? What is the most meaningless rivalry game scheduled for this "Rivalry Weekend?"
All this and soo much more in less than 30 minutes!
While it was a relatively quiet weekend of college football, we here at The College Football Guys still learned some things about the sport. Now we would like to pass that knowledge on to you!
We now know that one of Phil Knight's cars must be a classy '78 Firebird. That is the only explanation we will accept for these Duck uniforms. Oregon you make this blog too easy for us.
Michigan fans, Relax! Just because you have lost 8 games for the first time in program history doesn't mean it's the end of the world. Lots of football power houses have lost eight games in a season. Washington, Texas A&M, Notre Dame, SMU, have and look how far they have come from the depths of defeat...
Colorado fans thought they were at a WWE match this weekend, as someone thought it would be cool to bring a laser pointer to the game and actually use it. I think Buff fans thought they were playing Tech this weekend.
Every weekend Notre Dame wins, they are "turning the corner" in the minds of the pundits and fans. Every weekend the Irish lose, it is "the end of the world! Charlie should be fired!" Make up your minds people!
Though not as thrilling as last year, the USC/Stanford game still came with a quirky ending. Down 45-17, Jim Harbaugh decided to use the last play of the game to kick a field goal. Seeing this USC coach, Pete Carrol called a time out to "ice the kicker." After the break Harbaugh trotted the offense back on to the field and Cardinal QB Alex Loukas threw an 18 yard touchdown pass to make the final score 45-23. The spread for the game just happened to be 23 points. Do you think someone might have reminded Jim that there are plenty of Stanford boosters and alumni that had Stanford to cover?
College TV announcers still don't know the difference between college and NFL replay rules! NCAA coaches have no red "hankies" to throw at officials. All reviews come from the replay booth, regardless if it is the last or the first two minutes of the game. Announcers, if you need to study up, here is a guide that might help.
If you look in the dictionary under jerk most SEC fans will tell you that Steve Spurrier's face is the only entry the book needs. It must be extremely gratifying for those same fans to watch Spurrier, the inventor of "style points," receive the largest beat down of his career this weekend. The defeat came at the hands of none other than his alma mater and the program responsible for his reputation. Look on the bright side Steve, plenty of golf courses have great winter rates right now!
If you paid any attention to college football this weekend you learned of a great story of Florida State's Myron Rolle and his attempt to win a Rhodes Scholarship. FSU and the NCAA have worked out a way for Rolle to attend the interview and play against Maryland on Nov. 22nd. Congrats to both for figuring this out, now it's time to come up with your best interview questions to ask Rolle.
Here is ours: "It has been said that a man's reputation is formed by the company he keeps. Explain to the committee how a brilliant man like yourself justifies playing on a team that has widespread academic fraud and teammates that recently thought it was acceptable to beat up students in the school cafeteria?"
Myron Rolle reminds us of this old Sesame Street skit:
Oregon wasn't the only ones that had some ugly black uniforms this weekend. FSU had their own ugly black uni's as well. BTW, Florida State, blackouts are only cool if black is one of your official school colors and Oregon next time you try a blackout let your fans know that they need to wear black as well.
It appears that the Jets and Sharks are at it again.
ESPN is reporting that there was a brawl in the student union Wednesday afternoon involving members of the Florida State football team and the Phi Beta Sigma fraternity.
We here at The College Football Guys just happened to have hidden cameras in the Florida State Student Union and captured the fight on the following video.
We are still trying to figure out why Michael Jackson was just standing around singing.
We know it is a day late, but you will still love it! Our Week Six podcast is here! (Just click the link and press play.)
Join us as we discuss the making of an upset. Why is it that even when higher ranked teams see an upset Thursday night, on national TV, they STILL fall prey to being the victim?
What else happened this weekend that might have been overshadowed by all the upset talk? Plus each co-host unveils their top 10 for the first time this season.
If you have followed our podcast you know that we have been tracking the rivalry games played this year. This week is no exception, however when we noticed it was Miami/FSU week, we saw there is NO nickname for the storied matchup! After you listen and hear our thoughts on suggested nicknames for the big game help us choose which one you think is best suited. Don't like the ones we chose? You know what to do. Comment below for the world to see!
Here is what The College Football Guys learned in week four of college football.
Thursday night confirmed what we knew all along, long time assistants don't make good head coaches. Coach Luther Van Damn made a great assistant to Hayden Fox at Minnesota State, but imagine him with the head post of the "Screaming Eagles." Wait, you don't even have to imagine, it unveiled itself Thursday night in Boulder. Some one might want to ask Mr. Heat Miser what he was thinking when he gave good ol' boy Stewart a six year contract extension after only 2 victories...
Skip Holtz's phone stopped ringing with job offers from other schools at precisely 3:17pm EST on Saturday. The same time the final whistle blew in Raleigh. He might coach a team in purple and gold, but he doesn't have the athletes to back up gutsy calls like Les Miles does. If they'd kicked the field goal on 4th and goal from the one, instead of going for the touchdown, ECU would still be up by three, be a BCS contender and a have a busy secretary.
Wake Forest players must have bet the under as they tried SO hard to make sure their game with Florida State didn't get out of hand. We're guessing they read our blog about how entertaining 12-3 games are.
Perhaps another Heisman highlight? That kid's got hops!
Andrew Hatch, QB/LSU, learned that hits in the SEC are just a bit harder than those from Division I-AA, or even the Sun Belt for that matter. He was knocked out of Saturday night's game, at Auburn, with a concussion. He was later seen on the sideline enjoying a Snickers and convincing everyone he was batman.
Arkansas fans were right. Life with Bobby Patrino and his "high powered" offense is WAY better than life with that no good, wife cheatin' bastard Houston Nutt. It's OK. Bama fans have some sympathy since they once thought life with a real "Tide man" (Shula) was better than life with a strip club lovin' west coast wacko (Price).
Those of you not fans of the SEC, we hope you get to liken' southern cookin', cause that's awl ESPN and dem other media outlets are gonna be given' us a fine helpin' of for awhile!
No matter how long the mighty Jimmy Clausen grows his hair, he still isn't Samson. Also, is anyone else tired of people trying to legitimize Notre Dame's chances of a BCS bowl by bringing up the schedule? "Well Tim, if you look at the Irish's schedule this year, there are at least 8 games they should win..." They AREN'T going to a BCS bowl this year!
True freshman Terrelle Pryor had 10 completions this weekend, in his much anticipated college debut, however only four of them were for touchdowns. Slacker! Six completions that didn't go for a score? No wonder Ohio State fans didn't pack The Shoe and began the boo birds this weekend. "You Suck!" The future looks SO dim for those Buckeyes!
Oregon is thankful this weekend that they have their own regional TV network (OSN) so the nation didn't get the opportunity to watch Boise State earn their first road victory vs a BCS opponent live. At least their was some coverage available so we can catch the highlights.
Oh and the last thing we learned this week is that John Denver's "Rocky Mountain High" is way better than his "Take Me Home, Country Roads." Don't believe us? Just ask CU alum Chris Fowler.
After a week one bye Florida State opened its 2008 season last week with a victory over Division I-AA opponent Western Carolina. This week it is time for them to play their SECOND consecutive FCS school, UT-Chattanooga. At the same time the NFL is talking about cutting back on preseason games it appears that Bowden is moving in the opposite direction.
UT - Chattanooga Location: Chattanooga, TN Founded: 1886 Nickname: Mocs Mascot: Scrappy. You are probably as confused as we were about the nickname and mascot. Here is the scoop! The school's nickname was the Moccasins and their mascot was Cheif Moccanooga until 1996 when political correctness made its way to the south. The school decided to change its nickname to the Mocs. Now their Mascot is Skippy the Mocking Bird who rides the "Chattanooga Choo Choo." Everyone knows there is nothing worse than a mocking bird tauting you all game long. We are checking to see if this violates any NCAA "excessive celebration" rules. Conference: Southern Conference Size: about 9,000 undergrads Most well known alumni: Dennis Haskins - Principle on Saved by the Bell. Terrell Owens, aka TO - NFL receiver who wants you to "Get yo' popcorn ready!" Irvine W. Grote - Chemist and inventor of our favorite medicine, Rolaids. Why you might have heard of them: In 1997 the Mocs' made it to the "Sweet Sixteen" in the NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament. No word yet if their victories over Georgia and Illinois busted Neuheisel's bracket that year.
What The College Football Guys learned after weekend number two in college football.
..."Point of Emphasis" is a really neat and sophisticated term, until you hear it for the 326th time. After that we want to say, "Don't have a cow, Man!"
...Is Vanderbilt's victory over South Carolina really considered an upset when we already know the Gamecock's coach and team is overrated?
...Why is it such a big deal that "The Chosen One" went on missionary trips in the off season? Over 75% of BYU players have been on two year missions. Impress us Tim and get married! 35 Cougs are hitched.
...Mike Leach must be really jealous of Skip Holt's Purple and Gold Pirates.
...The Buckeyes still are number one in the country at playing down to the level of their opponents.
...U Conn's 12-9 OT victory over Bill Cosby's Temple Owls gave the Big East their FIRST victory over a Division I-A program. The "Big Easy" will have to wait and see if Thursday brings their first victory vs. a BCS conference opponent.
...Instead of having his mind on the game against the mighty Blue Raiders of Middle Tennessee, Ralph Friedgen was thinking about the case of Blue Label Coors he had waiting for him in his "fridge." With Cal coming to town this next weekend, it's CODE BLUE time Turtle fans!
...Congress and the President need to order a "troop surge" for the US Military Academy. Please just send only the ones that have ANY knowledge of the game of football.
...Miami kickers wear the purrtiest green little slippers. So SHINY! They look soo good with black dress socks!
...We like Florida State's version of those terrible Go Gator Nation commercials. (Not for children's eyes)
...When the NCAA discovers how much fun we have on this blog and podcast, they will issue us an "Excessive Celebration" penalty.
It became painfully obvious last weekend that it is a good thing the ACC decided to schedule 14 Division I-AA schools this year. If they hadn't they might have had a hard time filling all their bowl obligations, including the Humanitarian Bowl and the brand new Congressional Bowl.
This week it is more of the same as the powerful Almost College football Conference takes on five more FCS schools. In case you are in the mood to watch the ACC, let us help you learn more, as we continue to introduce you to the cupcakes of the ACC.
Western Carolina Location: Cullowhee, NC which happens to be 60 miles past the middle of nowhere. Founded: 1889 Nickname: Catamounts, gazoontite! Wildcats that roam the southern Appalachian mountain region. Conference: Southern Size: about 9,000 undergrads Most well known alumni: Paul Johnson - current head football coach Georgia Tech. Gerald Astin - NFL ref. Why you might know them: The Catamounts number one rival is Appalachian State as they play each other every year in "The Battle for the Old Mountain Jug."
Furman University Location: Greenville, SC Founded: 1826 Mascot: Paladins. The WHAT? A paragon of chivalry; a heroic champion; a strong supporter or defender of a cause; and any of the 12 peers of French emperor Charlemagne's court. (American Heritage College Dictionary) However some how they represent this with a knight on horseback. Conference: Southern Conference Size: 2500 undergrads. About 800 students smaller than last week's ACC opponent Charleston Southern Most well known alumni: Sam Wyche - former NFL head coach. Amy Grant - Contemporary Christian Pop artist and wife of country singer Vince Gill. Why you might know them: Who didn't go to high school with a kid that rocked the FU hat?
The Citadel Location: Charleston, SC Founded: 1842 Nickname: Bulldogs Conference: Southern Conference Size: 2000 cadets, 100 civilians Most well known alumni: Tons of military commanders and Paul Maguire - commentator for ABC college football. Also "that guy that talks about the game from weird places in the stadium." Why you might know them: On August 15, 1995, after many legal battles and much controversy Shannon Faulkner, became the first female to joined the Corps of Cadets. She resigned after only 4 hours citing physical exhaustion, and emotional and psychological abuse. The male cadets rejoiced!
University of Richmond Location: Richmond, VA Founded: 1830 Nickname: Spiders, the only college in the country with said mascot. Conference: Colonial Athletic Association Size: 2795 undergrads Most well known alumni: William K. Howell - former President, Miller Brewing Company. Sean Casey - first baseman, Boston Red Sox. Why you might know them: On October 15, 1992, candidates George H. W. Bush, Bill Clinton, and Ross Perot came to campus for the first-ever "town hall" televised presidential debate. William & Mary Location: Williamsburg, VA Founded: 1693 Nickname: Tribe Conference: Colonial Athletic Conference Size: 5,700 undergrads Most well known alumni: No one you've heard of, just Thomas Jefferson, John Tyler, James Monroe, Henry Clay. Jon Stewart - host of The Daily Show on Comedy Central. Bill Lawrence - creator of TV show Scrubs. Marv Levy - former head coach Buffalo Bills. Mike Tomlin - current head coach Pittsburgh Steelers. Jaycee Chan - Hong Kong actor/recording artist and son of Jackie Chan. Why you might know them: In high school you received a rejection letter in the mail from this school. With a acceptance rate of 32% makes it one of the most selective schools in the nation. Also have some interesting traditions and legends.
Ever find yourself trying to figure out whether a team is in the Mountain West or the WAC? Have a hard time remembering what programs comprise the ACC Coastal or Atlantic Divisions? We here at The College Football Guys have found a solution to your problems.
When we were children our teachers taught us a handy system to remember our planets. Remember it? Sing together with me, "My Very Educated Mother Just Served Us Nine Pizza-Pies!" The system we learned is known as a first letter mnemonic device. A memory aid that relies on associations between easy-to-remember constructs which can be related back to the data that is to be remembered. In this case using a phrase whose first letters are associated with a list.
Since the Mountain West broke away from the WAC to form their own conference in 1999 it has been difficult for even the most diehard college football fan to distinguish the difference between the two. San Diego State is not even close to the "Mountain States" and TCU isn't near a mountain or even in the west. Go figure! Hopefully this mnemonic devices will help jog your memory.
Mountain - Mountain West Aged - Air Force Buffalo - BYU Can - Colorado State Not - New Mexico Swim - SDSU To - TCU Las Vegas - UNLV Under - Utah Water - Wyoming
Since WAC member Boise State installed their artifical blue turf there has been constant rumors about birds making their final flight into the Smurf Turf mistaking it for a lake. With this in mind the following poem should help you remember those crazy WAC programs. (The conference of the "State" schools)
WACky - WAC Birds - Boise State Fly - Fresno State Hard - Hawaii Into - Idaho Replica - Nevada-Reno Lake - La Tech Near - New Mexico State State - San Jose State University - Utah State
When looking at a map the divisions of the ACC makes little sense. There is no clean cut north/south, or even east/west border, rather the break up was done with vague locations, "Atlantic" and "Coastal." However these catchy phrases should help you remember the difference.
Atlantic - Atlantic Men - Maryland Never - NC State Boast - Boston College When - Wake Forest Farts - Florida State Converge - Clemson
Could - Coastal Virtual - Virginia (Tech) TECHnology - Tech Give - Georgia (Tech) My - Miami Dad - Duke Vicious - Virginia Nausea? - North Carolina
Think of anything better? We have placed our mnemonics that didn't make the cut in the comments section. Let us know what you got, or how you remember which teams are in which conference.
We here at The College Football Guys.com continue in our quest to find out who is going to win this year's most interesting non conference games based solely on the attractiveness of the women on campus. Today we will take a look at the November 29th Florida vs. Florida State match up in Tallahassee, FL.
We thought we would make this task a little more challenging and limit our pictures to 1.) PG and 2.) No Jenn Sterger or Erin Andrews allowed. While we thought that would be a challenge, it really wasn't. What was I thinking by choosing to go to school in the rainy northwest!?
Vote now on which school has the best looking women. Only your vote can help decide this year's winner.
Everyone was a good sport last week trying to guess which names were a DUI attorney or a NCAA football stadium. For those of you that listened to our podcast you already know the answers, but for those that slacked here they are.
Carter Finley - NC State's Stadium Dunham Rogers - DUI attorney in Austin, TX Sean Sullivan - DUI attorney in Las Vegas. Might want to keep that one for future reference. Dowdy Ficklen - Home of the East Carolina Univ. Pirates. Joan Edwards - Thundering Herd of Marshall Univ.'s home. William Kibbie - The Idaho Vandals protect this house! Casey Mulligan - DUI attorney in Boulder, CO. How about a Mulligan? John Scheumann - Stadium for Ball State. J. Layne Smith - Tallahassee DUI attorney. I am sure he is on Seminole speed dial. Jason Dunkle - State College, PA DUI attorney. He has stayed plenty busy this year. Kelly Shorts - Chippewas of Central Michigan's home. Clarence Martin - Cougar's home on the Palouse of Washington State. John Lloyd - Tuscaloosa, AL DUI attorney. Wallace Wade - Always sold out home of the Duke Blue Devils. Also the home of the 1942 Rose Bowl.
In case you haven't seen it yet, the Princeton Review came out this week with its rankings of the top 20 party schools in the nation and number one on the list...The University of Florida.
Can anything go wrong for the Gators? This is proof that life truly isn't fair. Remember the days when your football program sucked and you could still take solace in the hope that you could at least become the number one party school? No longer.
Florida has young, energetic coaches in basketball and football. Back-to-back basketball championships. Football and basketball champs in 2006. Kept their basketball coach from escaping to the pros. The "Chosen One" walks on water looking for back-to-back Heisman's. ESPN Gameday goes to spring practice. Contender for another football championship. It is indeed a good time to be a Gator.
When will this hot streak end and bring order back to the universe?
ESPN released this week, its "Outside the Lines" report on Penn State's criminal issues the past couple years.
Every day there is a new report of football player's getting in trouble.
All of these issues has caused us to ask, "If we were wardens for a state prison system, or a football coach with low morals at a division III program, what is the best team we could build with 2008's suspended/dismissed players?" So that brings us to The College Football Guys', First Annual, Preseason All-Jackass Team.
Offense
QB Ryan Perrilloux - LSU. This was an obvious choice. Destined to be the athletic QB to take the helm of the defending champs only to throw it all away with academic issues, numerous accusations, giving Les no choice but to say goodbye. Dismissed and transferred to Jacksonville State
RB Brandon Ore - Virginia Tech. This star runningback's poor attitude was deemed detrimental to the team by coach Beamer. I guess he finally got tired of suspending him for just one quarter or half a game. Why not just go for it all? Dismissed from program.
RB Lance Smith - Wisconsin. Had the chance this year to compete as PJ Hill's backup and plenty of playing time. Now attending court hearings. Suspended off and on last year. Failed certain requirements of the first offender program for assaulting his girlfriend; suspended indefinitely just last week.
WR Preston Parker - FSU. Because many athletes on the Tallahassee campus enjoy cheating on tests Parker is not the only player missing early season contests. Called by many the most talented player on the Seminole roster, Parker was charged with a misdemeanor for carrying a concealed weapon and marijuana. Suspended for the team's first two games.
KR/WR Harold Howell - Minnesota. Promising 2007 recruit that played in 10 games last year, averaging 23.1 yards per kick return. Harold violated academic and team guidelines; dismissed from team.
OG Andy Christensen - Nebraska. Three game starter in '07 before season ending injury. Thought it would be OK to reach up a woman's dress at a local bar. Sexual assault charges have been filed against him. Maybe he should have taken this test The College Football Guys learned of earlier this year. Might have kept him out of trouble... Suspended indefinitely.
OT Michael Brown - Mississippi State. The Bulldogs best returning offensive lineman, starting 18 of the 19 games since being eligible, after transferring from Florida. Possible NFL prospect who was pictured on MSU's spring training, media guide. Brown and teammate Quinton Wesley were involved in an altercation that began off campus, but ended up with them firing guns in the air around the dorms. Charge and convicted of felony possession of a handgun and aggravated assault. Dismissed from team.
Defense - Where all the crazies play!
DE Michael Lemon - UGA. Played in 8 games for UGA last year as a sophomore. Planned to have a greater role with the defense this year until he punched a fellow student. Well actually punched him over 5 times, in the eye. Enough to give him a blowout fracture. All resulting from an altercation at a summer BBQ in an off campus apartment complex. Dismissed from team.
DT Justin Francis - Rutgers. Robbed a man for his cell phone in a university parking lot and then threatened student with an air pistol. "You'll shot your eye out!" Suspended indefinitely.
CB Jerrard Tarrant - Georgia Tech. Highly touted recruit out of Georgia and expected to start as a red shirt frosh this year. Charged for an on campus rape. Dismissed from team.
LB Jimmy Johns - Alabama. Though not as famous as the sandwich shop that carries the same name, Jimmy is one of many off the field issues at Alabama this off season. Arrested on 5 felony drug distribution charges and a 6th for possession when cocaine and ecstasy was found at his home. Allegedly breeding pit bulls to sell and possibly fight. This web site, www.jimmyjohnspitbulls.com is as popular now as "Bad Newz Kennels." Dismissed from team.
LB Kevin Garrett - Oregon. Penciled in as the Duck's starting weak side linebacker, Kevin was pulled over and cited for the following; failure to obey a traffic control device, making an improper right turn, driving with a suspended license, driving uninsured and failure to carry registration. Officers then found open containers of alcohol in vehicle and cited the 19 year old for minor in possession and a DUI. Suspended indefinitely for violation of team rules.
S De Andre McDaniel - Clemson. Accused of assaulting his girlfriend by throwing her down a flight of stairs and attempting to choke her with a comforter. The accuser is not backing down. Appears he too should have taken our little test. His status for August 30th's season opener against Alabama is still up in the air.
S Brett Lockett - UCLA. This article wouldn't be complete without a mention of a "Slick Rick" player. Lockett is the Bruins starting safty and has been suspended from the team for at least their Sept 1st season opener against Tennesse. Violations of team policy regarding academics.
Dishonorable Mention
S Xavier Hicks - Washington State. Pulled over by police and cited for driving on a suspended license on his way home from spending 45 days in jail. Had just concluded his sentence for stealing a debit card and putting rubbing alcohol in his roommate's contact-lens case. Suspended for the first three games of the season.
WR Marques Wade - Arkansas. Marques' arrest for drunk driving marked the 5th arrest by an Arkansas player this off season, however the events leading up to this arrest may have been the most entertaining. Marques sped through a parking lot, slid through a turn and nearly hit another police car. The report doesn't say what type of car he was driving, but this college football guy isn't ruling out the possibility of an orange, 1969 Dodge Charger. He will be suspended for the first two games of the season.
Did we miss anyone? Let us know. There were MANY to choose from.
It is that time of year again!
Mountain - Mountain West
The preseason all-everything teams are out.
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