Spring Ball Podcast!

Don't look now but Expansion is here!

In the College Football Guys' latest podcast we give our take on the dirty word and what we think the future of college football will look like. We also bring you our thoughts on whether or not Boise State could be the next Butler. Should the NCAA have changed the celebration rules? Plus our views on Oregon, Urban, and Rich Rod.

All that and how do you make a Droid do what you want to do?

Check it out! All you need to do is click here, press play and ENJOY!

Week 11 Predictions for the College Football Guys

The 300th entry for the College Football Guys brings you this week's prediction show! How about a cookie to celebrate?

This week's show includes the week's biggest games, and there are a lot of them this week.

Listen as the College Football Guys give their thoughts on Utah/TCU, Iowa/Ohio State, WVU/Cincy, USF/Rutgers, Arizona/Cal, and Stanford/USC. Also, will there be any surprises in the land "Famous for Potatoes?"

Click here. Press play and find out!

A Saturday with No Football

We knew August 28th, the day the season started, that this day would come.

Alas it is on the horizon. A Saturday with no football!

No more tailgates. No ESPN College Gameday. No beautiful co-eds. No band playing our favorite song! It is all gone.

What to do? It has been over three months since we have been without. We are all at a bit of a loss here. How is a man to fill his Saturday without college football?

Let us help you out and offer a few suggestions.

First and most important, if you value your companionship with your significant other, do something with your wife, girlfriend, fiance! Who is that you ask? That is the cute little thing (way to cute for you we might add) that has been patiently waiting to get you back on Saturdays.

She has listened to you yell at the TV. Put up with your drunkenness at all the tailgates. Limited her comments when she caught you drooling over a young co-ed and even fixed you dinner a time or two.

TAKE HER OUT!

Now if you don't have a "significant other" and you:

a. Don't have finals to study for.
b. Live in an area of the country where it is too cold to do anything outside.
c. Believe the only joy that comes from the holiday season is shopping on Christmas Eve.
d. Have already defended your favorite program's NCAA '09 National Title 10 times.
e. Live in a spotlessly clean home.

and

f. Are hopelessly addicted to your 47" flat screen HDTV.

Here is some TV programing that might cure your withdrawal symptoms. Please check your local listings for times in your area.

Are you an ACC fan? Now is your chance to scout next year's schedule. This weekend is the semi finals for the FCS championship. Richmond plays at Northern Iowa, 4pm EST on ESPN. Just in case you are lost Friday night, Montana plays at JMU, 8pm EST on the "Deuce."

Big 12 fans - Storm Chasers; Sean and Reed bring their teams closer to tornadoes than ever before, 2pm CST on Discovery and we must never forget King of the Hill, 3pm CST on FX.

For SEC fans, CMT has you covered with the 12 Days of Redneck Christmas, 5pm EST.

CMT is also helping West Virginia fans with Larry the Cable Guy's Star-Studded Christmas Extravaganza at 9:30pm EST. It is rumored that Mountaineer head coach Bill Stewart is co-hosting.

Bill Dance Outdoors on Versus at 1pm EST gives us a nice review of the 2008 Tennessee football season. In case you don't get a chance to catch it, we have posted it below.



Kind of reminds you of Ol' Fulmer, don't it?

Layla Kiffin says goodbye on Bravo's 7pm PST airing of Real Housewives of Orange County.

Auburn boosters call in to CNBC's 8pm EST showing of the Suze Orman Show to ask if paying $5.1 million to buy out one of the most successful coaches in the SEC is a sound financial decision. Suze's reaction is priceless.



Cal fans will find An Inconvenient Truth airing on Discovery at 1pm PST.

For those Notre Dame, Washington, WAZZU, Syracuse, Iowa State, Michigan, SMU, and North Texas fans, Trainwrecks is on Spike at noon EST. If you need something in prime time Mission Impossible III is on TNT at 11pm EST.

For Oregon, Cal, Missouri, Army, Central Michigan and every other programs that donned ugly uni's this year, What Not To Wear is on TLC at 4, 5, and 6pm EST.

Bottom line: Whatever you do, don't forget the Heisman Trophy Presentation is at 8pm EST on (where do you think?) ESPN.

Don't worry. This weekend is just a practice for January as Bowl Season begins bright and early at 11am EST, Saturday, December 20th!

What We Learned Week Fifteen

This weekend we learned that the BCS has deemed Florida and Oklahoma good enough to play in the BCS Championship Game. There was a couple other nuggets of knowledge that the College Football Guys picked up this weekend and we wish to pass them on to you.

The ACC should find a Florida high school football stadium to host their championship game in. The game's move from Jacksonville to Tampa this year produced an attendance that only a minor league baseball team would be proud of. Which is pretty handy considering they might want to consult some minor league teams for promotional ideas to attract more fans through the gates. Here are our thoughts:

10. Dollar beer.
9. Free Frank Beamer bobble head dolls to the first 8,000 fans.
8. "Michael Vick, Bring Your Dog to the Game Day."
7. Schedule an FCS program.
6. Collectible "Bowden Bowl" T-shirts from the early 2000's. Limited quantity. When there gone there gone!
5. Option to buy 2 tickets to the ACC Basketball Championship Game to the fan that wears the best Mike K. costume to the game.
4. Chance for a fan to win a $100,000 scholarship from Dr. Pepper. Wait. Scratch that. Already tried it.
3. Parachutists that land in Orlando instead of Raymond James Stadium.
2. Doug Flutie #22 Rosaries given to the first 2,222 fans.
1. Winning team splits the ACC conference's share of the $17 million BCS payout with any fan that turns in their used ticket stub.

Auburn showed the world this week how much of an attention seeking, step-brother they are to Alabama. Why would you fire a coach with 8 winning seasons, one 13-0 season, and six straight victories against your rival? The decision seems obvious. Auburn fans don't want the world to think that Arkansas has the SEC's most juvenile and obnoxious fans. It looks as though the lunacy of two programs is Mississippi's gain.

Alabama coach Nick Saban spoke of loyalty this week. Yes, you read that right! Nick Saban, "The King of Loyalty" criticized SEC football programs for being too quick to jump ship. Don't believe us? Here (at 1:35) is the video to prove it.

Nick Saban press conference 12-03-08

Rudy Carpenter taught us that getting thrown out of a girl's high school basketball game is no way to prepare for a rivalry game. However Rudy's lack of focus may have allowed Mike Stoops to take his home off the market.

Steve Sarkisian was named the next coach of the University of Washington. We will see if Husky fans find him an offensive genius when calling the plays for a team that had no player find the end zone more than four times this year.

Best use of a white out: West Virginia players and fans choice to honor Pat White with a "White Out" showed the nation what college football should be about.


Best revival of a uniform tradition: Pete Carroll's decision to bring the crimson uniforms to Pasadena for a UCLA home game. While some schools try soo hard to find the next "hot" thing (Oregon), sometimes all you have to do is reach back in the closet.


Worst new uniform of the weekend: One advantage to the new camouflage and black uniforms Army broke out this weekend is that dirt and grass stains are less obvious. The equipment managers for Army found this particularly helpful this weekend after Navy plowed the field with the Black Knights.


Go NAVY! Beat ARMY!

What We Learned Week Fourteen

While the College Football Guys may not have figured out if the BCS got the Big 12 South tie breaker right (find out what we think in this week's podcast tonight!). We still learned an awful lot this weekend in college football. Below is just a sample.

It is no wonder the Big 12 conference is getting so much love this year. Watching the end of a Big 12 game is like watching the end of a March Madness game. Both Kansas/Missouri and Nebraska/Colorado games were decided in the final minute. Kansas with a play from Todd Reesing that would make Flutie proud and Nebraska with a 57 yard field goal! One can only hope the Dr. Pepper Big 12 Championship Game brings as much excitement.



How fast has the luster faded from the MIGHTY SEC? With a victory over rival FSU, Florida avoided an Almost College football Conference weekend sweep of the SEC. South Carolina, Georgia and the former darlings of Vanderbilt each lost their regular season finales. Their defeats brought the SEC's record to 6-10 vs. BCS programs this year and 4-6 vs. the ACC. Before Florida's victory on Saturday night the last BCS program the SEC defeated was at Arizona State on September 20th! Since that game the SEC has lost to Texas, Wake (twice), West Virginia, Duke, Georgia Tech, Clemson as well as non-BCS "powerhouse" Wyoming.

Notre Dame found out Saturday night who the true five star athletes are. USC's dominance of the Irish was not defined enough in the 38-3 score. The true stat is the 91 yards of total offense the Trojans held ND to. The Irish could muster only 9 yards in the first half and achieved their first, first down on the last play of the third quarter. NO ONE can argue that recruiting web sites and magazines have been inflating Notre Dame classes for years in an attempt to sell subscriptions and memberships. There isn't a single player on ND's roster that would start for USC.

The "Mad Hatter," Les Miles at LSU, was out "Hatted" this weekend by Arkansas. Razorback QB Casey Dicks threw a 24 yard TD pass with 22 seconds remaining to win the game for the Hogs. It is safe to say that the luck, er "great calls," of 2007 just weren't there for the Tigers in 2008.

Who says that Houston Nutt is the only "Right Reverend" in the SEC? Georgia coach Mark Richt sure looked like he was doing plenty of preaching on Saturday when he made his teamtake a knee and gather 'round after the third quarter. We all know the only reason teams go into the locker room at halftime is so the band can use the field.

Rick Neuheisel will start winning at UCLA when he finds a QB that throws more touchdowns to players in powder blue and gold than the opposition. Arizona State returned three Kevin Craft interceptions for touchdowns on Friday night (Craft's 17th, 18th, and 19th INT for the year to 7 TD's). Add the 71 yard fumble return for a touchdown you have an NCAA record for four defensive scores in one game. Remove the mistakes? UCLA wins 9-6.

Several uniform issues that came up this weekend. Since when did it become popular for kickers to color coordinate their shoes with their uniforms? Just goes to show that flipping through Eastbay catalogs takes up a majority of a kicker's practice/film study time. We wonder if these kickers ever get jealous of their girlfriends' shoe collection.




Seems that University of Missouri/Columbia researcher, David Brunsma findings were true in "that student uniforms have no direct effect on substance use, behavioral problems, or attendance." While he was talking about uniforms in the classroom of K-12 students he could have easily done his research on the results of college football programs wearing alternative uniforms. Especially ones that are piss yellow.

What We Learned Week Eleven

We here at the College Football Guys learned many things this weekend in college football. Chief among them was the odds of seeing ANOTHER Big Ten team in the BCS Championship game dropped to almost zero! The nation, including FOX executives, BCS Sponsors/Advertisers, and anyone who enjoys watching a competitive football game, rejoiced!!



This week we learned that Joe Pa can't figure out the BCS. We think he solved the puzzle on Saturday. It's real simple Joe, JUST WIN!



After John Parker Wilson scored Alabama's first touchdown Saturday, in "Death Valley," against LSU. He earned a "celebration penalty" for making the "Call me" motion with his hand. It appears that LSU idiots, er fans, once again found the cell phone number of an opposing SEC player, posted it on the Internet, and called repeatedly. That made us wonder what Tiger fans had to say to JPW, that was so important. The following are the ten most creative messages left by genius Tiger fans.

10. "Is Mike Hunt there?"
9. "Parker, Is your refrigerator running? Better go catch it."
8. "John Parker Wilson? More like Sara Jessica Parker."
7. "This is Nicolas Sarkozy, and I love that Sara Palin!"
6. "Do you have Fat Albert in a can?"
5. "You wouldn't happen to have a spare roll of toilet paper would you?"
4. "Hi. This is Jeni. You remember me from this weekend right? You don't?! (sniffle) Well I went to the doctor today (sob) and he ran a bunch of tests and said I am (bawl) pregnant, and it's (weep) yours."
3. (Deep breaths) "Luke I am your father! Luke!"
2. "Why do you keep calling me! You called me! What do you want!"
1. (After one bottle of bourbon) "John Parker Wilson, you ain't nuttin' but a bunch of Tiga' Bait! We goin' beat that Tide A** on Sata'day!"

Speaking of smart people from Louisiana, did anyone else find it interesting that Brett Helms (Center for LSU), was CBS' Scholar of the Game with a whopping 3.0 GPA? Seriously? There was no other player on either the Alabama or LSU sidelines with a higher GPA?

We still haven't learned why the SEC hates USC so much. This year the Trojans show all the classic signs of an SEC team - great defense. Minus the "Fluke in Corvallis," USC has allowed opposing offenses to score ONLY 33 points! The Trojan defense ranks 1st in the nation in Passing Defense, Total Defense and Scoring Defense, allowing less than a touchdown a game (6.67)! If that doesn't scream SEC football, we will never know what does.

We learned last week that beating Michigan, in "The Big House," was no longer enough to keep Toledo Tom's job. Now we wonder if beating Tennessee, in Neyland Stadium, is going to be enough to save Wyoming Coach Joe Glenn's job? Maybe his Cowboys' performance is just expected these days in Laramie, as Coach Glenn is 3-1 verse the mighty SEC in his tenure at Wyoming.

Will someone please inform Mountaineer fans that the game of football is 60 minutes long! With Cincinnati leading 20-7 and less than 4 minutes remaining in the game, WVU turned the ball over on downs inside the Cincinnati 10 yard line. Mountaineer fans hit the exits. They didn't get far. When the Mountaineers scored 13 points in the final 1:11 of the game fans began pouring back into the stands for overtime. Remember WVU fans, "It ain't over until, the fat lady sings!"

Whoever still believes that recruiting magazines and web sites don't embellish Notre Dame's prospects and national rankings to sell subscriptions to rabid Irish fans hasn't watched a game of college football lately.

We think Wake Forest's gold uni's should have stayed back in 1956, but we will let you decide.

Week Eleven Podcast for TCFGs

The 2008 Election Edition of The College Football Guys!

Change.

Never has one word ever meant more than in the world of college football. Listen to The College Football Guys latest podcast as they discuss Texas Tech's last second upset of #1 Texas. Florida's big win over Georgia. Could a one loss TCU team find its way into a BCS game? Will Tech be able to hold up against Okie State? Can Bama win in the "Return of Saban Bowl?" Finally, what advice does Captain Compete have for us this week?

All that and so much more!

Just click here and press play!

What We Learned Week Nine

We learned a great deal about college football this weekend so without further ado here are our findings.

This week Tim Tebow gave his full endorsement of Colt McCoy for the Heisman trophy. Which raises the obvious question, "If Superman wears Tim Tebow Pajama's to bed, does Tim Tebow wears Colt McCoy PJ's to bed?" Next task: finding Colt a cape.


Seems No. 1 Texas vs. No. 6 Oklahoma State was only good enough for regional coverage. Nice work ABC/ESPN. The whole west coast enjoyed the thrilling UCLA/Cal game. Can't get enough of that Rick Neuheisel...

For those who were lucky enough to get the top ten match up, you missed the first quarter trying to adjust your TV screen. Even with the new HD TV's it is still hard to translate THAT much orange!


While Georgia piled 52 on LSU, the Bayou Bengals realized how much they REALLY missed their 12th man this weekend.

Vanderbilt's Cinderella season officially came to an end with a 10-7 loss to Duke. The loss combined with Auburn's embarrassing effort at WVU, on Thursday night, gives the SEC a 5-6 record against non-conference BCS schools with 4 match ups remaining. In case you were wondering, the Mountain West is 8-5 vs. non-conference BCS programs.

Went to watch the Ohio State/Penn State game this weekend and a SEC game broke out.

ESPN's College Gameday once again brought us crazy Buckeye fans. Apparently Ohio State's new mantra is "If you can't beat 'em, Boo 'em," as a chorus of boos filled the air every time LSU, Florida, or USC were mentioned on the program. We here at The College Football Guys did a little research and discovered three embarrassing losses by the Buckeyes to these particular programs in the last three years. We were given this advise once and thought we would pass it on to Buckeye fans, "It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt." Just food for thought.

Scholarships for college kickers are overrated. Matt Williams was a normal college kid when he started school this year, but that was before the Red Raiders played the mighty Minutemen of U Mass. During halftime of that game Matt hit a 30 yard field goal for a year of free rent. Mike Leach was in need of a kicker and thought to himself, "I wonder if this kid likes pirates?" Four weeks later Matt connected on 9 of 9 extra point attempts against Kansas. We will soon see if the kid can do it in a clutch.

June Jones brought the "Run and Shoot" to SMU. Unfortunately for the Mustangs all Navy needed was the run. Navy ran the ball 77 times for 404 yards without even attempting a pass for a 34-7 victory! The Midshipman's quarterback carried the ball 41 times for 224 yards and four touchdowns. We are still trying to calculate his QB rating. Georgia Tech coach Paul Johnson is soo jealous.

If you think the BCS is confusing try figuring out the ACC. Maybe instead of a championship game that they can't sell out, the ACC should implement an 8 team playoff. Maybe it will be the model for a real playoff.

Just when we thought Oregon had exhausted their ability to look ugly they found this combination from their 384 possible uniform choices. And you thought your girlfriend had a lot of clothes.

What We Learned Week Four

Here is what The College Football Guys learned in week four of college football.

Thursday night confirmed what we knew all along, long time assistants don't make good head coaches. Coach Luther Van Damn made a great assistant to Hayden Fox at Minnesota State, but imagine him with the head post of the "Screaming Eagles." Wait, you don't even have to imagine, it unveiled itself Thursday night in Boulder. Some one might want to ask Mr. Heat Miser what he was thinking when he gave good ol' boy Stewart a six year contract extension after only 2 victories...

Skip Holtz's phone stopped ringing with job offers from other schools at precisely 3:17pm EST on Saturday. The same time the final whistle blew in Raleigh. He might coach a team in purple and gold, but he doesn't have the athletes to back up gutsy calls like Les Miles does. If they'd kicked the field goal on 4th and goal from the one, instead of going for the touchdown, ECU would still be up by three, be a BCS contender and a have a busy secretary.

Wake Forest players must have bet the under as they tried SO hard to make sure their game with Florida State didn't get out of hand. We're guessing they read our blog about how entertaining 12-3 games are.

Perhaps another Heisman highlight? That kid's got hops!


Andrew Hatch, QB/LSU, learned that hits in the SEC are just a bit harder than those from Division I-AA, or even the Sun Belt for that matter. He was knocked out of Saturday night's game, at Auburn, with a concussion. He was later seen on the sideline enjoying a Snickers and convincing everyone he was batman.


Arkansas fans were right. Life with Bobby Patrino and his "high powered" offense is WAY better than life with that no good, wife cheatin' bastard Houston Nutt. It's OK. Bama fans have some sympathy since they once thought life with a real "Tide man" (Shula) was better than life with a strip club lovin' west coast wacko (Price).

Those of you not fans of the SEC, we hope you get to liken' southern cookin', cause that's awl ESPN and dem other media outlets are gonna be given' us a fine helpin' of for awhile!

No matter how long the mighty Jimmy Clausen grows his hair, he still isn't Samson. Also, is anyone else tired of people trying to legitimize Notre Dame's chances of a BCS bowl by bringing up the schedule? "Well Tim, if you look at the Irish's schedule this year, there are at least 8 games they should win..." They AREN'T going to a BCS bowl this year!

True freshman Terrelle Pryor had 10 completions this weekend, in his much anticipated college debut, however only four of them were for touchdowns. Slacker! Six completions that didn't go for a score? No wonder Ohio State fans didn't pack The Shoe and began the boo birds this weekend. "You Suck!" The future looks SO dim for those Buckeyes!

Oregon is thankful this weekend that they have their own regional TV network (OSN) so the nation didn't get the opportunity to watch Boise State earn their first road victory vs a BCS opponent live. At least their was some coverage available so we can catch the highlights.

Oh and the last thing we learned this week is that John Denver's "Rocky Mountain High" is way better than his "Take Me Home, Country Roads." Don't believe us? Just ask CU alum Chris Fowler.

Week Three Podcast for TCFGs

Another week, another great podcast!

The Ohio State @ USC game is upon us! Join The College Football Guys as they recap last weeks games, debate excessive celebration and preview ALL the big games going on this week. We also answer these burning questions:

Is ECU a possible "BCS Buster?"

What does the future hold for WVU?

What would you do it you have already laid out $650 for plane tickets and $140 for 2 tickets to your alma mater's home game that starts only 15 minutes before USC/OSU?

Click here. Press play. Listen and find out the answers to these questions!

Most Overrated Games in 2008

Every preseason, college football fans across the country take a look at their helmet schedules and start circling games that they think will be the best of the season. Once these games get circled we find that some simply don't pan out to be as good as what we all expected. When you go to circle your "must watch games" this year, make sure that you avoid these games. We promise there will something better on another channel.

Tennessee @ UCLA - This game is getting much hype simply because it is the first of two games pitting the "east-coast biased whining," Pac Ten fans against the "we're better than anyone because we care more," SEC fans. Much like last year's Tenn/Cal game it really told us nothing about either team. Tennessee got beat by Cal in a "hostile" environment that included about a 1/3 Vol fans and marked Cal's only sellout crowd. UT went on to come a couple plays short of being SEC champs and Cal crashed towards a 6-6 record. Let's hope those 35,000+ Tennessee/SEC fans enjoy their experience in the Rose Bowl.

USC @ UCLA - Another game that is being over hyped purely for the "Neuheisel" affect. UCLA couldn't make anything happen last year with 20 returning starters and without a QB for the first month of the season they are in for another disappointing year. By the time Dec. 6th rolls around, if USC has more than one loss, no one outside of California will care. America's attention will be focused solely on the Big 12 and SEC Championship Games that will largely dictate who will be playing in the BCS Championship.

USF @ WVU - This game sets itself up nicely as what looks to be the "unofficial" Big East championship game on Dec. 6th, however by the time it rolls around it will NOT decide the Big East title. Does anyone remember what was said about the Louisville @ WVU game at the beginning of 2007? That game became insignificant when Louisville found themselves 5-4 coming into Morgantown. This year roles reverse as WVU finds out the hard way it is a little harder to win without Rich Rod on the sidelines. A talent loaded USF team becomes the best of the Big East this year and beats the Mountaineers for the third consecutive year on its way to a BCS birth.

Alabama @ LSU - While EVERYONE in Baton Rouge is talking about the return of "Satan" to Death Valley this game will not live up to the typical SEC soap opera off the field. LSU is missing a proven QB and by Nov. 8th Alabama just won't be in the SEC West race. What could make this interesting is if some how, some way, Saban mysteriously disappears somewhere between the hotel and the field... When are Bayou Bengal fans going to start making Saban Voodoo Dolls?

Michigan @ Ohio State - I know, I know. I hear the screams from Ann Arbor and Columbus as we speak! This match up is argued by most to be THE rivalry in college football, however this Nov. 22nd it will simply be a great rivalry and have little significance on the national scene. By the forth Saturday in Nov. Michigan will simply be struggling to get bowl eligible. Ohio State will roll and finish its season on top, ready to wait the 2+ months to play in its third consecutive BCS Championship game.

TCFG's 2008 Preseason Prediction Show!

FINALLY! Our Preseason Prediction Show is here for your enjoyment!

The college football season is closing in on us and no preseason would be complete without The College Football Guys Preseason Predictions show!

Join The College Football Guys as they give you their thoughts on the AP top 25, the BCS Championship contenders, their Heisman candidates, and who will be this year's Boise State/Hawaii. Also is it time for a playoff system to decide who is the number one PARTY SCHOOL in the land? Who do these Princeton Review guys think they are? Bo Pelini Polka and much, much more!

Click here. Press play and enjoy!

Sharks of College Football

Just in time for Sunday's start of the Discovery Channel's Shark Week, The College Football Guys bring you the Top Sharks of College Football.

Sharks are slick, spineless, sneaky and cunning. They have little regard for manners and often leave behind a mess for a family or "school" to clean up. Misunderstood by most, they are crucial to maintaining the balance of the ocean's fragile ecosystem by weeding out weaker or injured creatures.

Like the mysterious creatures of the seas these college football coaches contain many of the same attributes. You might enjoy their success in the short term, as they chow down on weaker opponents. However, what makes you think they won't latch on to the next piece of meat that falls into the ocean leaving you, the program, school and fan, to clean up the mess? Caveat Emptor, let the buyer be aware of the following play callers.

Dennis Erickson - Denny has a history of making promises he can't keep. In just his second NCAA head coaching job at Wyoming he promised a long tenure, yet left after one season to coach Washington State. He spent a mere two seasons at WAZZU before bolting to "The U." After six seasons there he left the program with two national titles and facing 3 years probation. Erickson jumped ship again in 2006, after telling Vandal fans he was going to be around for the long term, he left again, after just one year.

Rich Rodriguez - Initially appeared to be the good guy when he told Alabama no and said he would stay and coach his alma mater for years to come. This might have been true if Michigan had figured out a way to beat a I-AA team from Boone, NC. Rich Rod left for Michigan in the middle of bowl preparations and refused to pay agreed upon buyout.

Evidently collecting keys is not part of a WVU's exit interview, so he snuck back into the office and started shredding notes on players. The balls on Rodriguez and the blades on that shredder where bigger and sharper than any shark we have ever seen.

Rick Neuheisel - With a law degree from UCLA and a member of the Arizona State and DC Bar Associations, Rick already has the necessary qualifications of a shark. "Slick Rick" slipped out of Colorado to become one of the top five paid coaches in the country at Washington leaving CU with 51 NCAA rules violations. After four years at U-DUB Neuheisel lied to the administration about interviews for the 49er's position and then had that "little" incident involving an NCAA "pool." The program STILL hasn't recovered. Maybe time away and coaching for alma mater will change his ways.

Does an alcoholic ever lose his addition? Don't think so...

Nick Saban - This shark will sneak right up on you and attack when you least expect. The "Savior" of Michigan State football, Saban used the program as a nice stepping stone to go coach an LSU team that needed some saving itself. If the story stopped here we might consider him an older, more popular Urban Meyer. However his thirst for blood and money left him with no choice but to seek out the challenge of a bigger "fish." After two years he showed his teeth again and followed the Crimson blood leaving a destroyed Dolphin's team in the wake. 'Bama fans could only say, "We done caught ourselves a big'en!"


Bobby Petrino - Where to begin? Bobby pulled the biggest sneak attack of them all! How do you leave a team in the middle of the season, with a Dear John letter? "Dear Team, I have been doing some thinking and this just isn't working out. I really think we should see other people." It's like breaking up with your girlfriend with a text message on Christmas Day! Only a great shark pulls a stunt like that.



Coaches that might be confussed as sharks:

Houston Nutt - While Arkansas fans are just plain nuts, there is usually a truth somewhere in the middle of two completely different stories. Houston, just tell us, "Did you have relations with Ms. Bragg?"

Mike Price - Vilified in the "southland" for enjoying strippers. The state that brings the world Wesley's Booby Trap was offended by Price's actions. Who is really the hypocrite here?

Mike Gundy - Much like a whale shark, his actions and words are worse than his bite. Enjoys plankton and reporters.

Steve Spurrier - Proves every year at South Carolina he is no longer harmful. He would rather be playing golf with another "Shark."

Enjoy Shark Week everyone! Soon there will be something better to watch on Saturdays!

Fogetaboutit!

Rutgers Athletic Department announced yesterday just how much of a "made guy" Coach Greg Schiano is. Reported was new information stating how Schiano is compensated with monies from outside the state funds. According to this article the coach gets a $250,000 payment from an outside marketing firm, TJ Nelligan Sports Marketing.

When asked why this hadn't been brought up before, university president Richard McCormick said "I'm not sure why we didn't, but I regret it." Neither Schiano nor university athletic director Robert Mulcahy, who negotiated the deal, responded to requests for comment.

Seems to this College Football Guy that someone beefed and the boss TJ Nelligan (aka - Al Delucci) didn't want word of this on the street. Its no wonder coach ('Heavy Load' Gino) and the AD (Guido Santoro) didn't comment, they are too busy trying to find the beefer before a wise guy goes potzo and whacks someone.

If you want to find out how cool your mob name would be click here.

July Podcast is here!

July is here and we are on fire! Listen to our newest podcast. We have been looking at all the players that have recently been arrested for DUI, and we wanted to help them out. In this episode we play the newest game that will soon sweep the nation, Is this the name of a DUI Attorney or College Football Stadium? Listen and see how you do!

We also address the Rich Rodriguez buy out. Which teams are beating Vegas' over/under win totals this year. How many starters in the NFL are from SEC schools. What is with random Nebraska fan pulling a stunt on OU fans and who is to blame? All this and more on this episode of The College Football Guys!

Just click here and push play!

Easy as pie!

Enjoy!

Big East and Our Favorite Shows

Since the Hurricanes, Hokies, and Eagles left the Big East for the "greener pastures" of the ACC the Big East has been fighting for respect and recognition. The College Football Guys are here to help. We have made it easy for you to get to know the Big East by pairing them with famous TV shows that we have all come to enjoy.

WVU - "Survivor." The first relevant show in the Big East. Recent drama and changes in format reek of desperation, which continues to make it fun to watch, but for how much longer? Will Bill Stewart and the program "survive" without Rodriguez? Might be destined for syndication in the near future.

Rutgers - "Biggest Loser." Was once a loser with low self esteem. Now healthy, hip and ready to be a winner the rest of their lives. We will see if they can keep their head "trainer" as ratings suffer without.

UConn - "Big Brother." Has origins in another league (England/Division I-AA). Desire to be an elite program. Voyeur nature makes it a guilty pleasure. Unfortunately the program serves as filler until the real season begins (basketball & fall viewing).

USF - "American Idol." New. Sexy. Every one's favorite. It is unbelievable how far this program has gone in such a short time. Randy Jackson could pull off the "Mohawk" but I can't see Paula in one. However, we would like to see Simon Cowell challenge Coach Leavitt.


Pitt - "Deadliest Catch." Blue collar; salt of the earth program. They hope that their "catch" against WVU wasn't a fluke. Will interest and captivate viewers if they can pull in enough wins to compete for the Big East title.

Syracuse - "Who Want’s to be a Millionaire?" Has done well with good hosts - Jim Brown/Donovan McNabb/Regis. Without, they are stuck in syndication on the 4 o'clock hour making them relevant only to old alumni in Florida. "Ready for the early bird special Earl?"

Cincy - “Dancing with the Stars.” Show exploded on the scene last year with big wins thanks to nifty moves and great QB play. Can they make it a tradition moving forward or will their game be canceled?

Louisville - "Real World." Always a juicy story whether it’s Petrino or new head coach Kragthorpe. Alumni continue to fight and bicker about what might have been! Makes you wish Puck would come back to your TV.

DRAMA!!

Happy Graduation!

Graduation time is here! Time for all those great ceremonies with "famous" speakers that an hour after the event you won't remember their names or even what was said. However a lucky few get to hear great things from people you might actually remember. Here is a list of commencement speakers taking part in ceremonies through out the land.

Here are a couple of our favorites:

Elizabeth Dole - Central Piedmont Community College (Not sure whether to be impressed with CPCC or upset that the former presidential candidate can only get CC gigs.)

George W. Bush - Furman University (Obvious cap decoration - FU W!)

Al Gore - Carnegie Mellon (Doesn't it seem like a cruel irony that a Nobel Peace Prize winner for promoting Global Warming is speaking at a graduation for a school whose founder and namesake, Andrew Carnegie, was a "Captain of Industry" and helped start the Industrial Revolution?)

Nancy A. Grace - Mercer University (Will probably set the record for the longest speech with the fewest words)

Bill Cosby - North Carolina A&T State University ("The pride of Temple" is back to speak at a university that could probably have a longer name if they tired a little harder.)

Dan Marino - University of Pittsburgh (Afterwards coach Dave Wannstedt will ask him to suit up to take over at QB this year.)

Bud Selig - Bethany College (Bud is going to the only place in the free world that hasn't even heard of electricity, so how could they know anything about "performance enhancing" drugs?)

Chuck Norris - Liberty College (Perfect fit. Since we all know that America didn't have liberty until Chuck Norris created it.)

Wild and Wobbly

WVU basketball coach Bob Huggins reportedly tripped on the tarmac checking his messages as he arrived in Charlotte. Reports say that he is fine and that he just needs to pay more attention to putting one foot in front of the other, however it appears that he already has an endorsement offer.

Jackson takes Alabama

This year's Spring Games will bring more entertainment to the fans than just football. Gridiron Bash has started scheduling and promoting concerts for the Friday before participating program's Spring Game to make what already is a zoo into a zoo with rockin' tunes! Here is a sample of the schools and artists:

Alabama - Alan Jackson (Which event will bring more people? Concert or the game?)
WVU - Dwight Yoakam (Perfect Fit!)
LSU - Sara Evans and Kid Rock?
Texas AM - ZZ Top (Mike Sherman has already started growin' the beard)
Kentucky - Wynonna Judd (Please, please, please bring Ashley on stage!)
Arizona State - 3 Doors Down (Ricky Martin wasn't available)

Not to be outdone by the "Big Guys" the University of Washington delayed the release of their spring game date trying to book the same thing, however I think they found someone else willing to do an encore performance.



BTW - Maybe this halftime performance should have been a sign to Cal that their season had gone down the crapper. Hung, a Cal - Berkeley grad, dressed in purple, singing with the opposition's band...hmmm.

Coaching controversy in Morgantown?

Seems a 12 year old boy, Joshua Irizarry, from Connecticut wants to coach football pretty bad. If you haven't seen this video you need to.

Here is a link to the story.

The best part of the interview is when the kid tells the reporter that in the rejection letter he received from the president of WVU, Michael Garrison (Mr. Heat Miser in living form), it stated that "the position has been taken by an equally qualified candidate." I know that WVU coach Bill Stewart acts like a 12 year old sometimes, but is this validation from the boss?

The cover letter the boy sent in with his application also recognizes that a stunt like this might be better served for a school like Temple that could use the publicity. Is this kid gunning for Owls coach Al Golden's position next? Poor, poor Temple. They have fallen a long ways since Heathcliff Huxtable's playing days.