Saturday, April 12, 2008

Ode to Gatorville...

Watching College Gameday and the University of Florida spring game today, on ESPN, made me realize how short changed I was with my college experience. The gang at the Worldwide Leader have made me fall in love with those so "lovable" Gators. Tonight I will dream about what it would have been like to be a Florida Gator. Here are the things I now realize I missed out on.

The opportunity to cast my eyes on the mystic swamp where it is rumored that Tim Tebow walked on water.

The chance to throw a visor in the very stadium as the once great "ol' ball coach."

The ability to call opponents 'bait.

The genius of Urban Meyer, the third coming of Christ! (Spurrier was first, Tebow second)

Learning to clap my hands together in unison to a steady beat.

Seeing how long it takes to be brain washed to believe that the colors blue and orange look good together.

Smelling the flagellant of Tim Tebow to find out once and for all that his shit truly doesn't stink.

The opportunity to be raised by the Tebows and spend my nights memorizing the Holy Book.

The chance to breath the same rare air as some of the greatest QB's of all time, Danny Wuerffel and Rex Grossman.

Watching the great Erin Andrews dance with the Dazzlers.

The next time a tenured literature professor, or a physics researcher complains about how much emphasis is placed on college football and how their coaches are over payed, remember this day. The University of Florida was showcased today in a sappy display the University's marketing department couldn't dream to execute better. All of this in front of a national audience, for 4 hours, in the spring. The same spring most students are making their decisions on where they want to go to school. If the guys at ESPN have convinced this college football guy that Florida is the best school in all the land, just think of the impression they have made on the nation's delicate high school seniors. The pay Urban Meyer and his assistants receive is worth every penny.

Go Gators!

A life long bond!

UF - "The Foundation of Gator Nation!"

1 comment:

  1. Things must be crazy when Christ doesn't count as the first coming of Christ, Spurrier does! That is a pretty impressive holy trinity of the father (Spurrier), the son (Tebow) and the holy spirit (the Swamp). If only we could all be so blessed.